My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Parents of adult children

Christmas gifts question

7 replies

Silbury1967 · 09/11/2019 18:41

Two of our older kids are living with partners this year which presents me with a quandry over what to buy/how much to spend on the new partners.
Up until this year their partners have just had a token gift off us. Now they're living together I'm not sure how to work this:
do I spend the same amount of money as I normallly spend on my kids and buy a token gift for partners like last year
do I spend the same amount as I spent on my kids last year but split the gifts between them? (eg if I normally spend £50 on my child do I now spend £25 each?)
do I buy something between them for their home? (not a favourite idea of mine as I don't know their tastes enough)
do i get them a gift voucher or money to the amount I would normally spend on my child?
I wish I could treat the new partners the same as my own kids and spend the same amount on each of them as I do my own kids, but money is tight and spending extra isn't really an option.
wwyd? How do other families deal with this when money is sparse?.

OP posts:
Report
soloula · 09/11/2019 18:44

My mum increased the amount she spent on DH and decreased the amount on me. I'm happy with that as once we were serious and living together he became part of the family and if he'd be given a pair of socks or something while I had a big (value-wise) present then I'd have felt uncomfortable.

Report
froomeonthebroom · 09/11/2019 18:49

PILs give all their children and partners the same amount of money (£50). My DPs give DH and BIL a gift worth about half of what they give me and DSis, so also around the £50 mark.

Report
froomeonthebroom · 09/11/2019 18:50

Meant to add, I would say a smaller gift for partners is fine.

Report
Mrsjayy · 09/11/2019 18:53

Can you give them a joint bottle or something and still give the token gift to the partner.

Report
Silbury1967 · 09/11/2019 21:27

Hmm I guess soloula's idea is the most practical. I thought life got easier when kids grew up and left home Grin

OP posts:
Report
Silbury1967 · 10/11/2019 20:01

Following on from this how.much do others spend on their adult kids? Dh thinks I spend too much at £50 - £60 each now that they're grown up and independent whereas I think that's about right. He's also of the belief that the amount I spend on each one should be shared once they have a partner.

OP posts:
Report
Astrabees · 20/01/2020 11:29

I've been married for over 30 years, my relations spend about twice as much on me as they do on DH, he doesn't mind as he would rather have 2 bottles of decent wine than some of the weird and wonderful items I've received.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.