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Feeling sad

(5 Posts)
Llama01 Sun 03-Nov-19 09:55:55

Long post alert !! I have 5 children ranging in age from 21 to 31 yrs old . My eldest is about to move to Canada to live with his fiancée . My middle boy lives in NZ and my youngest lives in Australia . The other two are based in London and Bristol . I live in the North of England . Their dad and I separated and divorced when our youngest was 7 and both of us have remarried. I feel proud and happy my kids have spread their wings and are seeing the world and I have made trips to visit them . I have this nagging feeling that somehow I have made them want to be as far away as possible and especially when I have friends who have family gatherings regularly and plan Christmas and birthday do s all together . Most of my friends children live nearby so see them nearly everyday. During our divorce I struggled to juggle work etc and didn't always put the children first and feel that maybe it's payback time . Does anyone else feel the same ?

whereshalligo Mon 04-Nov-19 14:18:35

That's really hard and you are understandably feeling low. I would look at the fact that you have created well rounded adults who want to experience the world. I really doubt that they are trying to get away from you. How often do you communicate ? It's hard sometimes with the time difference. Maybe try and organise a trip to Canada when your son is settled.

Llama01 Mon 04-Nov-19 18:18:01

Thank you for your reply . We message each other almost every day and try to speak once a week which is lovely . My eldest son gets married in Canada next year so will all be together which will be the first time in about 4 yrs . I realise I m lucky that my children want to see the world and I completely understand that but I miss them so very much

LittleSweet Mon 04-Nov-19 20:06:45

You made them confident enough in their relationship with you and themselves to be able to live away from you. My abusive parents kept me close. I was only allowed to live up to thirty minutes away.

Llama01 Mon 04-Nov-19 20:26:34

I m so sorry to hear that . That must be very hard to bear x

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