Talk to my DS about his weight

[RhythmAndBlooze]

Apologies if this has been discussed already

My DS is late 20's and is showing signs of becoming very overweight. We have always struggled to encourage him to have a better diet but even when he was at primary school he had a poor diet. Bless him he tried different things but was retching over some foods.

His mum and I have a good diet and always made our meals with healthy (ish) food. His sister also ate everything we did.

He now lives with a wonderful lady who I adore. Both of them are overweight and I'm really worried.

I have a wonderful relationship with both of them

I want to find a way of talking to him (maybe through her) about his weight. His health is my main concern, I think he could do with losing 2 maybe 3 stone.

They have said that they are looking at starting a family.

I'm concerned that their weight issues could affect their fertility but more of a worry is that if they do have a family then their poor food choices will then be continued so their children will also eat badly.

I would appreciate suggestions on how to start a conversation on his (their) weight.

Thank you

[RhythmAndBlooze]

Bump

[Pomgirl]

I wouldn’t, unfortunately people only loose weight when they want to. He will likely just be upset with you....

[caranx]

Leave well alone. He's an adult. He knows what his weight is.

[Mintjulia]

Can you invite him to learn a sport. Getting him out for a round of golf or some clay pigeon shooting each week isn’t asking him to do a triathlon but both are good gradual exefcise.
You could pitch it as you wanting someone to learn with.

[Winterlife]

I agree. Talking to him about his weight will have no effect. Suggesting you exercise together, and selling it as something you’re doing together, rather than for weight loss, is a great idea.

[HoustonBess]

Unless he's asking for your help, you need to butt out.

[RhythmAndBlooze]

Thank you all for your input. I will do as you suggest

I'll still worry about him though

[Userplusnumbers]

The thing is, fat people know they're fat - saying something to them (even with the best of intentions) I only going to make them feel worse - not flick the switch whihh makes them change their ways.

I'd agree, inviting him to accompany you to a shared activity is a batter way to go about it!

[IamtheOA]

Dear God, don't!!!

If you don't have that sort of relationship with him already, then you cannot open that can of worms when he's in his late 20's.
And definitely don't say anything to hid partner. Holy shit, can you imagine the possible fallout?
If he mentions it, be supportive, but otherwise keep it buttoned.

[goose1964]

Nope, I have a son who is morbidly obese and if we as much as mention losing weight he goes off in a huff.

[RhythmAndBlooze]

We went out for a meal last weekend and I told him that he seems to have lost weight.

He said that he is trying to lose some weight which is great and I said that I was proud of him so I think that will help

Actually I hope that it will help

[SeaEagle21]

He is a grown man - he knows how big he is. The last thing he needs is his parents telling him he is overweight. To be honest, plenty of overweight people live normal lives, have children etc. let him live his life without you talking about his weight.

[RB68]

He is an Adult and so is she its none of your business anymore. He likely has a complex because of previous experiences. The only thing I might do in convo with them both is say that it is easier to conceive if lower weight and it might be something they could do together ie slimming world or similar and if Dr are particularly concerned some of them can do 3 mths free on prescription

[SeaEagle21]

I notice in your post that he had this problem in primary school, when presumably , you supplied all his food. If you couldn't fix it then, don't imagine that you can fix it now.