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Thrown son out

(15 Posts)
Kidsdub Sun 19-May-19 23:08:18

Well I just had enough today I threw my son out. He is generally doing well he’s 18 working a part time job. But his attitude is awful most times he’s really hard to live with. I’ve younger children and he has loud music on contadtant battle to turn it down, never cleans up and doesn’t talk to me at times very nice. He hates his Dad for some reason I don’t know. He smoked weed in the house yet again and this was the last straw so I threw him out but I feel awful and so sad . He suffers with anxiety but won’t get help except He thinks smoking weed will help. I’ve told him a 100 times don’t smoke in the house but he did it again. I can’t have that around the other kids. But I feel I’ve left him out to the wolves. he says we hate him and always wanted him out as we have constant battles with him over the years - he says he wishes He had other parents and we don’t care about him. He said we f him up. I just can’t help feel I really did and awful that I can’t help him see were he needs to improve so we can live together but he feels so entitled to everything. Sorry rant over any advice ?

Decormad38 Sun 19-May-19 23:13:05

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. He will learn now what you did for him. Letting him continue would not have been a good option.

SleepingStandingUp Sun 19-May-19 23:15:20

Has he got anywhere to go?

C0untDucku1a Sun 19-May-19 23:16:38

He sounds very immature and entitled. Why only a part time job? Is he studying?

Kidsdub Mon 20-May-19 08:03:45

Well he came back with his tail between his legs because he has no where to go so basically back to square one again he will be good for while then back to this crap again . I’m just at a loss what to do.

endofthelinefinally Mon 20-May-19 08:08:51

It is the weed.
He needs to get off it, but he has to want to get off it.
It is terribly difficult to get any help, if he is over 18 he has to do it himself.
Chances are he is on other drugs too.
Is there anywhere else he can stay? Anyone he might listen to?
Talk to him, keep trying.

endofthelinefinally Mon 20-May-19 08:19:11

Addiction is an illness.
I am convinced that ADHD is a huge factor in addiction.
I also think eldest children are vulnerable.
Why does he say he hates his dad? I am sure he doesn't, but does his dad talk to him? Listen to him?

Kidsdub Mon 20-May-19 15:25:28

He doesn’t say he hates him but they don’t get on at all and my son had it in for him always bad mouthing him to me. My DH does his best with him but sees him as a bit of a waster and my son knows this. He won’t go stay with family as he has in the past but refuses to go to them. He doesn’t have any where to go but I can’t go on like this but can’t see him on the streets and to rent a room is €500 a month which he nor I have .

endofthelinefinally Mon 20-May-19 16:27:33

So your DH is not your son's dad?

Kidsdub Tue 21-May-19 09:46:17

Yes he is his bio Dad . They just log heads

Kidsdub Tue 21-May-19 10:04:25

Kidsdub

OMg it just gets from bad to worse I’ve just found steroids needles in his room . This is not the first time I found them last year like when I’d this child going to cop on. Throwing him out is not an easy fix as he has no where to go I don’t have the heart to put him on the streets. Any suggestions as he’s not for tAlking to or seeking any help I’ve tried .

endofthelinefinally Tue 21-May-19 11:16:08

You need to find any and all sources of support for drug addicts in your area.
The steroids will be causing the aggression.
The bad relationship with his dad is very worrying and I think you need to really think about this.
Can you talk to your ds about why he is using these drugs.
He needs to get help by whatever means it can be achieved.
Worst case is he will end up dead. His dad is the adult here and needs to get onside.
I have been where you are and it ended very badly.
I am trying to give you the advice I wish I had had.

Kidsdub Tue 21-May-19 11:44:49

I offered him help and support and he won’t go. He has anxiety and this relates back to everything. we had him in the child mental health services but he left and refused to go back now he just keeps saying he is fine and says nothing wrong and justifies everything. His Dad in fairness is doing all he can he tries with him but my son seems to just rebel more if his Dad tries to help or talk to him. We are at a loss and I know how bad it could end and this frightens me so much.

Summerorjustmaybe Tue 21-May-19 11:49:31

Write a letter to whom it may concern with today's date on. Send him to the local council where he can declare himself homeless. See what they can offer.
I threw my ds out at 20 for hitting his gf...

darlingtwinklebum Tue 21-May-19 11:52:43

This sounds exactly like my brother.. he's 23 next month and is still like this. He has adhd and other issues going on. Not convinced he hasn't got a serious mh issue as well.
There really isn't a lot you can do. If you throw him out he can go down to the council but as he's single and working not sure what they can do? You can keep offering him your support and advise him to seek help but it's really up to him to realise.
Sometimes people need to be at rock bottom to realise and get help.
Good luck thanks

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