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Empty Nest Syndrome

(10 Posts)
sop123 Sun 06-Jan-19 22:34:00

I miss my girl so much ......Empty Nest Syndrome

Here I sit with my Empty Nest. She was here for 18 years - now she is not. I am empty, I am lost, I have no purpose. I am sad, I am proud, I am lonely. She didn’t go away - she grew up and became an amazing, independent young woman. She works, she earns good money, she laughs more than ever - according to her. She doesn’t understand, she thinks I try to spoil her fun. One day, when she has children of her own, she will understand. My mum said that to me. There is a void, as big as a void can be. My heart actually aches some days - aches for her presence, aches for her laughter, aches even for her rudeness. I still get to do her washing - thanks for small mercies. I fold it up and hold it close - maybe she will feel my touch. She has secrets - she used to tell me everything. She is beautiful - inside and out. She is honest and loyal - but can’t always see the hurt that her honesty can cause. What do you mean? She will always say that. She is generous, she has empathy, she speaks as she feels. Doesn’t understand those that don’t. Knows everything and can’t be told. My girl is growing up and I must let her go. All these things I miss and my nest is empty 🕊

Maverick66 Sun 06-Jan-19 22:35:45

Roots to grow, and wings to fly..............

sop123 Sun 06-Jan-19 22:41:21

Very hard - know how my mum felt now x

Emptynestermum Sat 02-Mar-19 06:33:37

Yes very hard. It's a loss of sorts so allow yourself to grieve (a little). But you will realise she hasn't died, thank goodness, and be grateful for that. Then, like all mothers, you will find a new way of living, with her still in your life, just not as before.

Decormad38 Sat 02-Mar-19 06:38:35

Yes went through this last October when she moved. Actually after a few months ( just recently) I feel like she’s more connected to me than she has been in a long time. I think she’s starting to actually appreciate what we did for her!

HearTheThunderRoar Wed 06-Mar-19 09:10:10

DD moved out in Feb 2018, was very hard to begin with and I ached for her. BUT after a few months I became proud that I raised her into to be an independent, hard working adult.

After being a single parent for many years, it was nice to get some freedom back and time for myself. I am hoping to study again, got more time for hobbies and I finally finished my quilt that I started 20 odd years ago (before she was born!)

Her teenage years were not particularly difficult but I am sort of relieved to be out the otherside. I love having an adult relationship, meeting up for lunches, normal conversations.

They will always need you though! DD has a had a number of serious health issues, and the number of times I have had her crying on the phone, having to hug her in hospital and supply with her grapes. Not to mention her never ever demands for home baking!

Iblinkedandiamold Mon 15-Apr-19 20:40:13

I am really struggling with this. My DS moved out last July and September he moved to a different country, one a short flight away but still. Our relationship was strained for the last year as he and I both struggled with his growing up. I miss how close we were before it all went to shit. I miss his laughter and the pranks. Him eating me out of house and home. I am so lonely and I can't stand to be in my house now.
When he was younger I used to love to have a night or a few days by myself now I hate it so much.
I realise I am lucky, I have my parents close by, I have friends who I can call into at the drop of a hat if I need it. I am still in the mourning period.
I haven't seen him since Sept. I can't afford a flight. sad

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince Sun 21-Apr-19 19:18:30

Me too....

Ds moved out to London last July. The grief is overwhelming sometimes. I hurt inside nearly all the time. It makes me feel sick.

I read about all these parents who build a new life for themselves, and wave their dc off with a happy smile.

But the majority of parents l speak to feel like me. Absolutely overwhelmed with grief and sadness. And because we aren’t supposed to feel like this, they also feel ashamed.

I don’t know what to say to those who are hurting, I’m hurting too. There nothing that can be said. You have them by your side all of their lives. And then they’re gone. Just like that.

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince Sun 21-Apr-19 19:20:18

Someone put this on my fb. Just about sums it up really
herviewfromhome.com/the-nights-are-so-long/

Iblinkedandiamold Sun 21-Apr-19 20:24:08

Thank Goodness you feel like me theemjoii. I thought I should be over it by now. It doesn't help that we used to be so so close but now our relationship is strained. Unless he needs money of course. grin

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