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Son & GF living with us(7 Posts)
My first post and hopefully I can get a reasonable answer to help me deal with a situation.
We allowed our Son to move his GF in with us a few months ago, to help them save up enough for their mortgage deposit.
Three weeks ago, his GF went on sick leave from work with "stress". from what I can gather, she does not enjoy her job and I suggested she looks for alternative employment.
The issue is, that today she has advised me that she wants to remain off work until after Christmas.
Although she pays £30 board, that is really just a token amount as we want to help them save. She is now at our house all day, watching TV, playing on a PS4, eating more food etc and I am beginning to feel uncomfortable with it. In my mind, I feel like she should perhaps go back to her Parents until she returns to work.
I welcome our comments and suggestions
Well you allowed her to move in, if she went back to parents it would be as though you kicked her out.
Do you go to work?
I don't think it would bother me too much if I was out at work all day, couldn't stand being around someone else if I wasn't, I like peace and privacy.
As for her 'consuming', unless you are desperately hard up I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Would you feel better about it if she paid more than a token amount? Or are you uncomfortable because she is there all the time? Rather than moving out altogether, would spending more time at her parents be ok?
I would speak to ds and tell him how you feel. The situation has changed since you agreed to her moving in. Ask him to come up with a resolution.
As another PP pointed out, the situation has changed from when you offered your DS and GF to move in. I can see how having someone around the house all day can be annoying when the original situation was for them to be out at work during the day, perhaps in for the evenings and weekends.
I’d suggest talking with your DS that this new situation isn’t what you envisaged when you invited them to stay and is not working for you any longer. Try to have a calm discussion about how best to resolve this.
Perhaps also discuss timescale for how long you’re willing to have them stay so it doesn’t drag on particularly as GF could be out of work then the saving for a deposit could take many, many months. If you’re feeling this way after three weeks, imagine what it would be like in a few months.
Thank you for your comments and advice. A sit down chat has been arranged for the three of us this afternoon .............
That's good. Please tell us how it went.
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