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Emigrating Son

(9 Posts)
DancingLedge Tue 19-Jun-18 00:58:43

My PFB, now aged 28, I've just dropped him off at his girlfriend's parent's house, and waved goodbye, as they left for the airport to emigrate.

I'm a curious mixture: on the one hand, bereft.
On the other, relieved he's moved out, after a few months back home, while he saved money on rent.I am often irritated by him- adult DC and parents are not good housemates.

But he was my precious first born, and in a few hours he leaves this country for good, if it all works out.
I'm proud of him, I don't know if he's grown up enough to succeed.
I'm bereft.

Candyflip Tue 19-Jun-18 01:12:52

Aww. Of course you are bereft, but it is so good that you also feel pride. You should most definitely feel proud. You have made him adventurous and independent, this would make me feel proud. He is off to see the world, not live a boring stagnant life like so many young people.

Tortycat Tue 19-Jun-18 01:26:28

Really feel for you. My Pfb is only 4 but i dread this happening way down the line!

But yes, be proud that he's independent and brave enough to do it, and get onto Skype. Is it somewhere you can visit often/ he can come home?

DancingLedge Tue 19-Jun-18 01:35:57

Thanks for replies.

For some reason I just did not anticipate free flowing tears, and feeling so bereft.

It's a long distance journey, but to a Caribbean island I love too, so certainly will visit if I'm able to.

It just feels like a line drawn under his life with me, his life here.

Although, who knows, he could be back.....
But I hope for his sake it works out.

And I'm so glad he's got the sense to go for what's important to him.

DancingLedge Tue 19-Jun-18 01:44:52

Actually, I kind of want to howl, very loudly, but I can't, because I'd wake his younger siblings up.

LemonysSnicket Tue 19-Jun-18 01:47:09

I moved out to go to uni at 18, but came back at summer. At 21 I moved to London forever. This is the way it should be. Live your life. I fully plan to live in the Netherlands /US/China - maybe all of them, enjoy the cheap holidays - the world is no longer so large.

MakeItStopNeville Tue 19-Jun-18 01:57:37

As an immigrant myself, just remember the world is much smaller than it’s ever been. You are only ever a WiFi connection away from a face to face chat.

We moved abroad when our kids were young and I know how painful it was for our parents. That said, they did nothing but encourage us and I will only ever encourage my own children to try some place new too.

Congrats to your son and much love to you x

MakeItStopNeville Tue 19-Jun-18 02:00:34

And it’s 100% to howl. When DC1 left for college, I was completely fine dropping him off until I got home and then I waked into their room and cried like a banshee.

Crazy8 Tue 19-Jun-18 02:01:12

My DS1 is planning to emigrate in 5 years. I know I’ll feel exactly as you do now. Full of pride that he has made these plans and will hopefully succeed in his new adventures and also bereft that my gorgeous precious first born child will be leaving our family.

I’m hoping we are able to visit him and am glad technology will make it easier to stay in contact.

You should be so proud that he is independent and you have equipped him to take on these new adventures.

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