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Daughter hates new partner

(4 Posts)
LindyLA Sun 03-Jun-18 19:58:22

Hi .. I’ve been alone for 12 years bringing up two DD’s now aged 22 and 19. Three months ago I met a guy that I actually think I love which is a big deal for me as I was never bothered about anything like that and always put the girls first. My eldest DD hates him though. She says she doesn’t think we go together and I need someone with money etc. She’s jealous of the time I spend with him but he has his 7 year old son 50% of the time so we don’t see each other all the time at all . Yesterday , my daughter and me were shopping and we bumped into him and his little boy and she was so standoffish and rude to him I felt myself cringing with awkwardness . She was behaving like a teenager . It was embarrassing and she couldn’t get away quick enough. I played it down but this morning we had a big row about it, she accused me of disliking her BFs which is a lie ... (she’s had the same one 7 years, sees him twice a week in her room and his room at his house , barely goes out but I’m not allowed to say a word against that) She’s now stormed off to her BF’s house for the night and said to leave her alone. I’m so gutted by how she’s being. He wants to get to know my girls but it’s not going to happen . He knows she doesn’t like him. He’s not a bad guy and I’m no idiot but I feel torn in half and in anguish over this. I can’t understand how she can’t be civil at least . Any advice would be appreciated

IlikemyTeahot Sun 03-Jun-18 20:01:25

she's an adult now as long as your happy and not being mistreated then it's none of her business the least she can do is be polite and she needs realise your allowed a life too how is your younger one about it all, if she's a bit more mature about things ask her to have a chat with her sister

gamerchick Sun 03-Jun-18 20:06:45

She's an adult, if she was young I would say wait until she was older but she's probably accustomed to you not being with someone else.

Tell her to wind in her rudeness, that you're entitled to find some companionship now your kids are grown and probably going to fly the nest at some point. That you're still her mother and just let her get on with it.

I've seen some absolutel corkers of tantrums from adults older than me about their mothers dating again. So it's nothing new and they come round mostly eventually.

LindyLA Sun 03-Jun-18 21:24:33

Thankyou for replying .. knowing that others have this experience helps .. my younger is a bit more mature about it to be honest but because my eldest is dominant she’s on her side . I hate this situation so much , I’ve always been a pretty soft mum which has bitten me on the bum now I think.

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