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House keeping contribution from adult family

(14 Posts)
felicitywithadultkids Fri 25-May-18 09:20:38

How much should adult children still living at home contribute towards living costs ? I am a solo parent aged 50 years and currently pay all the bills plus food to allow my 21 & 25 to reside. Both now employed after uni.

OP’s posts: |
Hideandgo Fri 25-May-18 09:21:39

Depends on what they earn and how much you need it. I’d say £50/each?

kissthealderman Fri 25-May-18 09:21:51

What is the going rate for renting a room plus utilities in your area?

They should be paying that, and buying their own food.

felicitywithadultkids Fri 25-May-18 09:25:34

Both earning £20,000 each and living in London

OP’s posts: |
Ifailed Fri 25-May-18 09:27:28

just total up your monthly household costs (food, laundry/cleaning products etc), rent/mortgage, heating and lighting, council tax, TV, broadband/phone, insurance. Divide by 3.

felicitywithadultkids Fri 25-May-18 09:32:19

It's difficult subject as both been used to not contributing although one has been paying 100 month whilst my other adult just started work after uni. I am thinking £250.00 month this is not going to go down well when they been used to free living. However now both are employed I feel it's time to contribute as every month I'm living to fund everyone and should be having some spare cash for myself

OP’s posts: |
Ifailed Fri 25-May-18 09:35:05

I'd present them with the figures, telling them "this is how much it costs to run this home" and ask what they think is a fair contribution. If they start whinging about how some friend doesn't have to pay anything, remind them that they are now adults.

kissthealderman Fri 25-May-18 09:36:17

£250 a month is very reasonable and kind of you. It would cost them far more than that to rent a room.

felicitywithadultkids Fri 25-May-18 09:38:29

It would I have also divided it as my partner who also resides here will be contributing each month too as I can't fund 3 adults plus myself 51 and divorced I want a life and the whole situation has been making me very down each month.

OP’s posts: |
mydietstartsmonday Fri 25-May-18 09:39:22

£250 is more than fair. They can't move out for that.
It is only fair they pay their way.
They are both taking home nearly £1500 per month and live in London. I think that is fine and they need to share the chores as well.

KirstenRaymonde Fri 25-May-18 09:43:04

£250 all in is more than reasonable and much less than they’d be paying to live anywhere else. It’s called growing up. We were all used to living for free until we started having to pay!

Aftershock15 Fri 25-May-18 10:49:45

It doesn’t really matter if it doesn’t go down well. You have decided now they are working adults they need to pay their own way (quite rightly). I would tell them that either they need to pay you £250 on the first of each month or they move out, starting on July 1st. Email them your bank account details so they can arrange for transfer. If you really don’t need all the money you could save some of it to help them for the first months rent/deposit when they do move out, but you are not obliged too. Unless by not go down well you mean be violent and abusive - in which case you don’t want them there under any circumstances, even if paying their way.

carbuckety Wed 13-Jun-18 23:25:47

I came on to ask a similar question. Our now adult son is working though only minimum wage. So not a lot. But he can manage to go out and buy himself clothes now. He wants to move out I know and I would like him to. Rents here are expensive. He eats a huge amount and our bills have increased considerably since he moved back. I think a minimum of £50 a week would be good, my DH doesn't want tomcharge as his ( much better off) parents never charged him. I started contributing at age 16 when I worked a full week in holidays. I moved out at 18 and never lived at home again so have been responsible for my own housekeeping for a very long time. I'm beginning tomreally resent it especially when I find an empty bottle wine in the recycling or find he's finished something I'd earmarked for dinner. I love him and lived having him back for holidays but I want to continue to love him not be endlessly pissed off!

mamawitch Tue 19-Jun-18 15:01:40

My 19 year old son is at uni, works 2 jobs now but refuses and I mean totally refuses to pay anything towards the house/bills/food. He also doesn’t help at home, expects us to clean up after him, wash up, do his laundry etc! I said to him he either contributes though helping or money or he moves out as a sort of kick up the arse but he just says he shouldn’t have to do anything! I only wanted £15 a week to help us cover food costs as there are 6 of us in the house, me and hubby work, 2 teens and a 9 year old plus him so bills are bigger! Just don’t know what to do with him!

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