I have a soon to be 25 year old step-daughter who is constantly broke and asking for handouts.
She has a graduate-entry job in recruitment in London where she lives in a shared house. Her monthly outgoings are not high, although we haven't actually sat down and talked through her budget, and she is not a frivolous spender. She has the usual student debt after her degree.
She has lived away from home for just over a year and we don't see her very much, although we skype and message often. She has had quite a few loans (amounting to just under a grand) from me over the past year and for last Xmas I wrote them off as a gift. Her wages seem to last for a shorter period each month - this month she'd run out of money on the 8th. Yet again, I stepped up to the plate and bailed her out.
She has a boyfriend who has just moved to Manchester, so she is in a long-distance relationship. We've met the boyfriend just once and he seems like a really nice chap.
My chief concern is whether her money is being spent on drugs of some kind. I have chatted to my pal and my idea is to try to get her to come home for a weekend, and arrange a time to discuss her budget/finances with a promise that her Mum and I will not explode over anything we are told. That sounds like a sensible thing to do, but do you wise women have any other suggestions about angles and approaches that we could adopt?
Her Mum seems less worried than I am, but that may be because I am the source of most of the bailouts and perhaps unwisely have pledged to my daughter that her situation is private. I have another another step-daughter, aged 23, still living at home, who is very quick to bring up any imbalance between the way she and her older sister are treated. If she knew, it would a case of 'Why aren't you giving me money too?'
Don't get me wrong: I am happy to support her, because that is what parents are supposed to do, but I am not overflowing with cash myself and will retire in April. Money for me will then be somewhat tighter, and I may not be able to fund her.
Any help and advice would be gratefully received.
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Parents of adult children
Adult daughter in debt - advice please.
32 replies
xpc316e · 14/02/2018 16:05
OP posts:
DancesWithOtters ·
14/02/2018 17:36
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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