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Is there a thread about adult children living at home?

(8 Posts)
tobee Thu 28-Dec-17 17:23:53

I've not seen one but wondered what people do about rules and how that does/doesn't change when they are adults.

Presumably adult children living at home must be more and more common and last longer with rents and mortgages being so high.

Tinselistacky Thu 28-Dec-17 17:30:30

My ds 23 is still at home. He works funny hours so don't se him that much tbh. He eats with us if he is in, I wash his whites, have food in for alternative meal times. He washes his bedding, cooks once a week for us and helps with school runs for younger dc when he can!! He pays board monthly. Pays his own other bills - car /phone /clothes etc.

AgentProvocateur Thu 28-Dec-17 17:33:50

Much the same as @tinselistacky here, but without the school runs. DH and I work FT conventional hours, DS (22) works in a bar. We’re like ships that pass in the night. I’ll put his work shirts in if I’m doing a wash, and he’ll do all the tasks that need done in daytime - collecting parcels from sorting office, dropping ironing off etc. We all get along well.

BackforGood Thu 28-Dec-17 18:05:59

Similar here. ds came home from university in the Summer. We don't actually see him much. He works, he is out with hobbies and with friends much of the rest of the time, and sleeps the rest.
It's not ideal, but finances dictate.
Having lived away for 3 years, he is FAR more domesticated than he was before he went, and will do stuff around the house if you ask him.

tobee Thu 28-Dec-17 18:15:05

Those are interesting replies.

Have things changed for you in terms of non practical stuff? Do you treat each other like lodger and landlord? Or pretty much the same as before?

Btw dd left university in the summer. She doesn't yet have a job and has various issues including anxiety. Although would probably do much better in the world of work than she gives herself credit for.

BackforGood Thu 28-Dec-17 18:24:31

Do you treat each other like lodger and landlord?

No, of course not. He is my ds!

Or pretty much the same as before?

Well, your relationship evolves. It is obviously slightly different from when he was 14. He's an adult now - responsible for own finances, he drives, he organises his own time. If he were to not turn up at work or turn up late, etc., it would be his responsibility, not mine. If he doesn't put his sheets in the wash, again, up to him, not my issue. We still laugh together, but I still nag him and he still gets frustrated with that.

tobee Thu 28-Dec-17 21:11:23

For the record, that was meant as a jokey idea of an extreme treating them as a lodger!

tobee Thu 28-Dec-17 21:12:39

I think it's fascinating how the dynamic changes. How we have to adjust.

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