End of my tether

[Sewell61]

I've got two adult children who still live at home. Ds is 22 & DD is 29 they have never got on. The Last couple of months have been a nightmare they had a really big argument, they haven't spoken since. The atmosphere has been terrible..the other night we had a family occasion & it all kicked off again because dd didn't say hello to ds gf which continued into the next day. DD walked out & went to her bfs & DS walked out & went to his gf. AIBU to just want some peace & prefer if they stay where they are. I thought it was supposed to be easier when they got older.

[Justbookedasummmerholiday]

You need long term plan talks imo!!
Shape up or ship out!!

[TittyGolightly]

Up their rents to double the cost of a bedsit.

[Haffdonga]

YANBU. They're both old enough to live independently but behaving like they're still children.

I think you need to be careful not to appear to take sides with one or the other of them, but give both of them an ultimatum that if they want to continue living as adults in your home they must behave like adults, which includes being civil and respectful to everyone who lives in the house (and their friends) at all times. If one of them decides they cannot manage to be polite to their sibling (regardless of sibling's response) then they must leave and you will give them 3 weeks notice to find alternative accommodation.

Dont try and talk to them at the same time as it will end up in a full scale blame game and screaming match. Instead email both of them, say you are willing to discuss calmly with them, you hope they will discuss it calmly with each other. But if they cannot manage this then you will carry through your ultimatum.

[Sewell61]

Aww Thank you for your responses, I gave both of them the ship up or ship out talk. It seems to have worked