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Parents of adult children

Having grown up children but being a young mum..

20 replies

missmove38 · 28/07/2017 08:13

Just wondered how many of you are still 'young' mums..I hyphenate as at times don't feel it!
I have 2 children 18 & 20 & im 38..I don't think there's 1 person who's nearly spat their drink out or said 'you're not old enough' when I've told them!
Anyone the same? What's it like for you having children this age and almost getting your life back?!

OP posts:
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ihatethecold · 28/07/2017 08:20

Yes. I am.
My kids are 26 ( with his own kids of 6 & 7)
17 and 14.

I'm a young looking 43 year old.
When I'm out with my grandkids I look like their mum.

I haven't changed much in the last 20 years.

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HalfShellHero · 28/07/2017 08:21

Ill be in this position one day when im 40 ill have a 21 and 18 year old feels odd in those terms i was 10 when my mum turned 40.

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MrsJayy · 28/07/2017 08:26

I am 46 with a 24 yrold and a 20yrold I am told I am to young to have the eldest but when i had her i was too young what can you do but nod and smile Grin tbh it is great some of my friends still have primary kids and doing school runs and afterschool activities while i am supping wine coffee on a wednesday night

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Cleanermaidcook · 28/07/2017 08:35

I'm 45 with a 23 year old, I also have a 7 and 9 year old. People who know me as their mum are always surprised when I say I have an adult child (and a grandchild) I take it as a compliment.
I don't feel old enough to be a grandma.

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christmasunicorn · 28/07/2017 08:42

I don't have adult children yet but have a 13yr old and I'm 32. I know I'm the youngest Mum amongst her friends but did nearly spit my tea out when one admitted her mum is the same age as my MIL Blush

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Ronnyhotdog · 16/08/2017 10:46

I'm 36 with an 18 & 14yr old. I look young too, I always get told I look too young to have an 18yr old, I usually say I am, I started young. That doesn't bother me that much the annoying question that sometimes follows really gets my goat though " is your husband his dad?" Or " Do they have the same dad?" Or variations of that question, arghhh so rude. I doubt someone who had their children later in life is asked that question.
In my head I'm still 18, I'm the youngest mum in ds1's friendship group and he's said he finds it hard to relate to his friends gripes with their parents.
I like being a young Mum, Ds1 is heading off to uni soon and I'm going to find it hard, poor ds2 is going to be getting more attention than he likes, I think that'll be the same for any Mum.
I dread ds2 leaving home, dh and I have never been adults without children if that makes sense, I'm sure we'll cope. It'll be hard at first.

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Mrscropley · 21/08/2017 09:41

I am 46, oldest is 28, youngest is 3. Gs is 18 mo. . Very confusing when out have dc shouting dm and gm at the same time!!

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Winniethepooer · 21/08/2017 09:50

Im 43. Ds is 27 (gd is 1) & dd is 25.

People are very intrigued. Some people are incredibly nosy. Sometimes i answer the questions other times i nod & smile & agree I'm too young to be their mum.

I find it strange that people are surprised by how successful my dc are.

People presume I'm my dc friend more then mum. I was not their friend first, I was just their mum. My dc didn't realise i was young until they went to Secondary school.

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MrsJayy · 21/08/2017 09:57

Why do people act shocked occasionally i get the omg 24 you are to young blah de blah it is really rude but I just smile &nod

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Sprite4 · 30/10/2017 19:43

I have a 24 year old and I’m 43, now have 3 more and I always get asked if they have the same Dad! That’s really annoying

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whattheactualbleep · 28/06/2018 01:55

I'm 38 with a 20 yr old a 13 yr old and an 8!yr old.
Still feel about 25 myself so it's hard at times to remember lol.

We get on well and have a close relationship with all dc and ds a dh are v close. Dh is 43 but we r both v young for our ages thank god

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Slowtrain2dawn · 29/06/2018 11:05

I'm 47 with a 24, 21 and 14 year old. I don't get the "too young" comment as much these days ( the crow lines have multiplied obviously!!) but the strange thing is that my main friendship group are older and their children are younger. Most people are surprised that I met DH at 18 and was married at 21 and pregnant by 23. A lot of friends got married much later. And yes I have also had the "same dad?" Question because of the gap between 2 and 3 but not in a rude way, I don't really mind, I just laugh and say he was a lovely surprise. I think people are just curious, if I thought they'd judge me if I said no I might just for the sake of it.

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Slowtrain2dawn · 29/06/2018 11:07

Just realised this is an old thread!

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VauxhallVectra · 29/06/2018 11:13

I'm 31.

My daughter is 17.

We often get mistaken for sisters, which I like but my daughter hates. We get on well but I don't think she really sees me as being young because I've always just been an adult and a mum in her eyes.

We have gone through different phases of her reaction/opinion of me dressing "young" (well, my age). At the moment she quite likes that I have an afro with a white lightening bolt in it but when she was a younger teenager, she used to beg me to dress like the other mothers.

I don't think it helped that she went too quite a posh school where all the other mothers were much, much older and very "proper" Grin

Although it was a ridiculous struggle having a baby so young, now I'm really glad that I did. She's grown up and independent (mostly) but I'm still young enough to do whatever I want. I feel like I've got parenting over with, I'm thinking of a career move and I feel like I've got a very clear path ahead of me to run with that. However, a lot of my friends who've done things "properly" are only just starting to have kids and are really worried about stalling their careers.

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pinkbobbles · 29/06/2018 11:14

I’m 38.

DD is 22; DS is 20.

I hate it to be honest.

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Gobolino80 · 29/06/2018 14:00

I'm 38, DS is 20, DD is 17. Constantly get the "but you don't look old enough!" Comments. We get some odd looks when we're out together, especially when I kiss DS hello or goodbye on the lips! But we've always done that and I've no intention of stopping.
Also recently I've noticed the sleazy comments from blokes referring to DD and I as 'sisters'. And have shot the odd murderous look at several men directing lecherous comments as DD, clearly not realising she's with her mum.
That said, I'm an absolute embarrassment to the pair of them, age makes no difference to that it seems!

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thenewaveragebear1983 · 29/06/2018 16:15

Not quite, but I’m 34 and Dd is 14, i am probably 15 years younger than her friends parents. 20 isn’t that young really. I jokingly tell her to make sure she looks after her skin because otherwise when I’m 80 and she’s 60 people will think we’re sisters!

And no one ever says ‘you don’t look old enough’ - they used to until about when she was 5/6 but now they just nod in agreement... Hmm

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larla · 23/07/2018 17:57

Yep I am also 38 my son is 19. I've been getting "you don't look old enough" or "oh my gosh you have an X year old" most of his life.
In soft play centres people used to do a double take when he called me mum.
I used to hate it now I love it as I have days when I feel I look like sh1t.

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grownupteenmum · 30/08/2018 19:33

Yes! I'm 38 my boys are 19 and 17, I also have 2 stepsons aged 20 and 18... I often get the 'you don't look old enough!' line, which makes sense given that most of my school friends are knee deep in pre-schoolers!

But I wouldn't change a thing, especially as if I hadn't had them when I did, due to health issues I would never have been a Mum.

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Angelcd · 16/10/2018 15:30

Im 38 and have a 21,18,9,7 and 5 year old i like being a young mum to my older ones people think im their sister.i will be a kinda older mum to my younger ones.x

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