I pushed her to get a job; scoured the adverts, helped her to apply drove her to interviews and training sessions. She struggles financially yet for the last two months she has not filled in her time sheets so has not been paid.
I have lent her money to tide her over. I sat down with her and helped her budget, work out meal plans, took her shopping for food and helped her come up with an exercise plan as she needs to stay fit to be able to do her job.
I suggested she speak to her manager to ask for more work. He told her that she is unreliable (doesn't turn up for work if she doesn't feel like going in) and therefore he can't give her more shifts until she proves herself. He also said she needs to grow up as other younger staff turn up regularly. I suspect if they weren't desperate for staff she would have been fired by now.
She says as the other staff live at home they have life much easier and that she “shouldn't have to think about money” and she wants to move back home.
She is comes over at least twice week as well a standing invitation for Sunday lunch. We live near her work so she stays over when she has a late or early shift.
I honestly don't want her to move back in because she is lazy, rude and messy she's also prone to emotional outbursts. She has medication for her anxiety disorder but doesn't often take it. I'm on eggshells around her.
She blames me for all her problems. She acknowledges that I give her lots of practical support but says I do not give her the emotional support that she needs.
I'm exasperated with her. it seems like no matter what I do she is determined to fail and blame me for it. I've done a lot of reading and the consensus seems to be that if you constantly do things for someone that they are capable of doing for themselves you are enabling them to fail.
Should I stop providing a safety net and let her sink or swim?
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Am I enabling my 22 year old daughter?
63 replies
ffab · 09/07/2017 08:08
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