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Ahhhhh! 21dd rudeness!

(5 Posts)
summer68 Thu 06-Jul-17 21:32:59

Ok, so I've just asked my dd to give me a hand with the washing up- we had both cooked separate meals. She said ok but continued to sit on the sofa. I washed up my things and left hers to one side ( I'd normally do the washing up but not this time!). I explained to dad what I had done and she then imeidiatly became angry, so I asked her to calm her tone and think about how she was talking to me. She proceeded to inform me that I'm a lazy shxx and that I left a pan of cooked pasta on the hob last week ( while I was at the gym) . I asked why that even effected her!
She stood up and looked like she was going to throw her laptop at me. I made the mistake of getting upset at her hurtful comments and actions and called her a spoilt princess as all I'd asked was some help washing up. She stomped over to me, I thought she was going to hit me.
She threw many, more very nasty insults at me - while walking from the room. I'm feeling completely shell shocked. My dh as supportive as ever asked what I had said to upset her!
I asked him if he had actually heard all the nasty things she had said! His reply, I just heard lots of shouting!
Really is it too much to ask your 21 dd who pays no rent, to assist with washing up ?
I've come to mums net to get some support as my husband seems to be incapable of supporting me.

AssassinatedBeauty Thu 06-Jul-17 21:42:50

Has she always been like this? Has she ever lived away from home?

summer68 Thu 06-Jul-17 22:42:35

She can be delightful, but i don't ask her to do anything around the house because this is the usual response, so to keep the piece my Dh and I do the tidying up. She does usually wash up her things in fairness, she'll sometimes empty the dishwasher but if asked to do something she gets mad.
I stopped doing her ironing about two years ago, when she asked ' is there some reason why you haven't ironed my top? ' when I replied ' yes, because I'm not your slave' she nearly took the door of its hinges slamming it and calling me every name she could think of.
She has never lived away from home ( she's currently studying at uni and travels in) she also works .
I know I'm totally to blame for her treatment of me, but I don't know how i get her to pull her weight without causing ww3.

AssassinatedBeauty Thu 06-Jul-17 22:46:41

She is still behaving like a dependent child rather than an independent adult. If she's never done anything to help out around the house or to look after herself it could be a hard slog now. How far through her uni course is she, how many years left?

user1499413365 Thu 20-Jul-17 00:30:38

Almost the same situation as myself. I have a 22 yr old DD. I'm currently unemployed so I clean her room,take washing, make packed lunch and have her supper ready for her after work. At the weekend I drove a total
Of 18 hrs to take her to a friends wedding.
I didn't get much thanks. Well on the Sunday night we had a bitch about her taking my charger, which ended in her telling me to F Off , you Fkn BItch.
I didn't say a thing just left the room.
Dad has been on the phone saying I'm the parent and need to talk to her. My reply is that I am going to let her stew for a week. Over the past few months she has been swearing under her breath at me, but never to my face. I'm just waiting to see if she will apologise, I hate children swearing, even adult children to their parents a total sign of disrespect in my opinion.
I'm sure other wools may think I'm over reacting...

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