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Flipping, freezing, sterilising and the just plain ludicrous - what daft things did you do with your PFB?

(285 Posts)
NorthernLurker Tue 28-Jan-14 21:47:46

Talking to dd1 tonight (she is 15 and has two sisters) I remembered how totally inept dh and I were.


Filled the baby bath and then carried it (taking two of us) in to the living room of our flat to bath her because it was warmer than the bathroom. Then after the bath we carried it back, sloshing right and left, to empty it.

The first night we had her at home we were so worried about overheating her we put her in a cradle in a vest with a sheet and single blanket, by a window, in April......then wondered why she cried all night and went to sleep when the sun came up.....

Sterilised the bowl for her breakfast until she was a year old. This was dh's job because I Was At Home All Day With The Baby! When he forgot and tried to get in to bed and go to sleep without doing it we had a row. Dh still complains of the 'tyranny of baby's bowl'

When she was six months old and started to roll she would roll herself on to her front to sleep. So every night we would check on her, find her on her front and flip her on to back. Unsurprisingly this woke her....but we kept doing it till my HV told me we were crazy!

Were we alone in this insanity?


Nikadebika Mon 10-Feb-14 13:29:03

When DS was 18 months, I went away for a girls' weekend, having left DH a long and detailed list of instructions, a stack of clean clothes in use-by order, and little pots of home-made babyfood, similarly stacked and labelled. I got home on Sunday evening just as DH was putting DS into a poo-stained babygro for bed, having had a solid diet of mini-cheddars all weekend. They'd both had a great time. I later found the list in the bin.

TerraNotSoFirma Tue 11-Feb-14 19:39:05

Was about to post saying I wasn't PFB at all, then I remembered posting this........


TerraNotSoFirma Tue 11-Feb-14 19:40:27

deakymom Thu 13-Feb-14 02:06:16

dont breastfeeding momas use a bracelet? i used a bracelet to remember which side i should start him on next time i also put the teats in the rings before i sterilise them i worked that one out with number two grin

i bath mine in the sink but i did crack my daughters head off the cupboards because i forgot i fitted them that day we warm the clothes up with the hair-dryer if the heatings not on we told the health visitor we absolutely never had our baby in bed with us she was to polite to mention the photo of me in bed with him that was right next to her blush we used brown sugar in warm water for constipation not knowing how much to give him i put in a tablespoon and let him drink the lot my husbands scream of OH MY GOD!! is possibly still echoing today grin we take our kids to the doctors far too often and then get told we should have brought them in sooner we gave our teething son slush puppy it was the first thing he had eaten in a day (not telling the hv that one either) i allowed my dd to sleep in a basket full of washing because it was the first time she had slept all day and i recently confessed to a doctor i had not killed any of my children because i was so flipping tired!

LottyLikesWindows Thu 13-Feb-14 08:08:32

Errr what's wrong with the sloshy bath scenario? It is far too cold to bathe dd in the bathroom. blush

My dd is five weeks old and I've only just last week started showering and eating before DP comes home from work because I couldn't bear to abandon her in the bouncer for ten minutes just in case she chokes on her tears

Also last week I was driving to a friend's place when dd started grizzling. I pulled over and breastfed her in the back seat because I was worried we'd get stuck in traffic and she would starve.

I promise those are the only PFB moments so far

mill3003 Thu 13-Feb-14 19:09:58

My 2nd daughter suffered from reflux from birth & would have choking fits, so I would sleep upside down on our bed, with my hand resting gently on her chest, to make sure she was breathing, as the moses basket wouldn't fit higher up the side of the bed [hmmm]

vinyard68 Fri 14-Feb-14 09:34:29

Oh god, this is taking me back. DD was on formula, and we always use the little tetra packs, too lazy to shake a bottle apparently. When we went on visit in laws abroad we actually packed an entire suitcase full of little tetra packs in case she would not like the powder version of the exact same formula. My PIL looked at me like I was a crazy woman...

hackneybird Sat 15-Feb-14 23:05:48

My friend is very neurotic about healthy eating, and all food she cooked for her PFB was made with stocks she had made herself from organic bones etc etc

I looked after her son for the afternoon once when he was about 18 months, the plan was that he would stay for his tea, but she insisted I fed him the food she had prepared and brought with her (risotto with asparagus and mint) rather than trusting me to be able to feed him properly. It really pissed me off I must be honest.

CakeAndTea Sat 22-Feb-14 01:25:03

Cringing at the memory of making my dad drive me and two week old DD1 to the doctor to check that she hadn't inhaled vomit into her lungs after she had (projectile) puked. And not believing doctor when they listened to her chest and said no she hadn't. Mostly cringing at how indignant I was afterwards.

stickystick Sat 01-Mar-14 00:06:53

When my son (then aged about 6mo) started going to spend occasional overnights with his father, I wrote out a four page "operating manual" on exactly what is father needed to do when, and updated it every time the baby went to reflect how his routine was evolving.

When I discovered that his father wasn't doing everything in the operating manual because he said it was too long to read each time, I then wrote a one paragraph executive summary, and followed it by a "key notes" section of bullet points which covered all the major changes to the schedule since the last visit.

FetenFirstTimeMum Thu 03-Apr-14 23:28:03

I used to warm the baby towels in the microwave before wiping my PFB buttom blush

PansOnFire Fri 04-Apr-14 01:51:32

I started reading this thread with the underlying, self congratulating peace of mind that I've never been PFB with my DS.

I'm now eating my words. I wasn't PFB, I AM PFB. Gawwwwd.

The bath, warming wipes, warming bottles with hot water, refusing to use boiled water from anywhere but the kettle at home, the constant use of Milton wipes on everything DS was near whilst out of the house, and...the sterilising... which is still going on, he's 16 months. I'm still sterilising the Calpol syringe.

Absolutely howling at this thread, the practising song lyrics and tarred and feathered grandma are my favourites.

My parents think I'm crazy because I obsess about the routine. My life will end if the routine is not adhered to. I'm going to have a long think about how sane my behaviour actually is now!

I do remember phoning the maternity ward when DS was a week old because he hadn't had a poo that day, they were so kind to me.

Frozennortherner Fri 04-Apr-14 02:46:57

DH, when we were out for a walk with buggy and our then 6 mth old, used to break out into a run whenever we approached a red traffic light. It was the car fumes, you see, the exhaust being at exactly the same level as dd1's mouth and nose -no dirty, polluted air for our dd's lungs, oh no!

I remember once being with my mum when he suddenly broke into a sprint and her asking 'what is he doing??' Tbh, I still can't figure out if it was PFB or just really quite sweet. He did end up really quite fit and slim by the times she reached her 2nd birthday, like.

YummyCake84 Fri 04-Apr-14 20:28:40

Whilst in hospital after just having PFB I was told that I had to waken the baby every 3-4 hours or else they would "regress back to the womb not realise they had been born!!"

After that I was terrified that would happen and spent the entire night (after being up the night before in labour) checking that PFB did not "regress back to being in the womb!" And setting my alarm for every 3 hours incase I fell asleep!

Alizzle Fri 04-Apr-14 22:36:15

I was the opposite I think. to the point when on our way home from corfu when ds was 8 weeks a foreign coffee shop owner heated his milk with one of those thingys on the coffee machine. makes me cringe but I was quite ill. these are making me giggle though!

Bumpsadaisie Fri 04-Apr-14 23:07:32

PFB DD was 6 months, we had just started weaning. It was January and we were on the side of Loughrigg Fell in the Lakes. 12.30 struck so we perched on the side of the cliff in a gale, duly extracted PFB from her vair high spec Deuter baby carrier, and proceeding to spoon in a few scoops of squidged butternut squash.

grin Why?! Just, why?

The flip side to the story was that although PFB was clothed in the very best JoJo Maman Bebe fleece suit, I hadn't appreciated that two pairs of cotton socks would be insufficient to keep her little feet warm when it was 0 degrees. What an idiot, her poor little feet were blue. No wonder she was howling, it wasn't that she didn't like the bloody butternut squash!

Needless to say the trip home involved tears and self recrimination and fleece booties were ordered the second we got through the door ....

2children2cats Sun 06-Apr-14 04:32:51

We were going to stay in a hotel with pil, mil arranged for the hotel to put a cot in the room. I kicked up a huge fuss about how dd couldn't sleep on a used mattress and we would buy a travel cot. We are going back to the same place next week, I have made no mention of travel cots and am hoping the hotel will be providing a bed for dd and a cot for ds as we have no room in the car!

PansOnFire Mon 07-Apr-14 00:34:08

Just realised something else I still do with my PFB: angelcare sensor pad is still in use, he's 16 months blush.

I also refused to use a flask to make up bottles with during the night incase the water wasn't at 70 degrees. I also refused to use half boiling water to kill the germs and then top up the rest with cooled, boiled water. Every day and night the kettle was used with freshly boiled water and then said bottle was stood into cold water to cool. I always wondered why, despite DS being a great sleeper, I was constantly knackered. I only figured this out when we were out longer than expected one day and I only had enough water in the flask (erm yes, the one I refused to use on a night) for half a bottle.

I also had a meltdown when my MiL put some shoes on DS that he hadn't had his feet measured specifically for. He was 4 months and they were very soft, made of fluff and far too big, I cannot fathom how they would have damaged his feet but I was convinced that they had.

Bumpsadaisie that's hilarious! Not that I can laugh...

somedizzywhore1804 Mon 07-Apr-14 00:43:27

Brilliant thread my pfb is due in July do looking forward to adding my own madness to this grin

Bumpsadaisie Mon 07-Apr-14 07:32:58

I found weaning the Pfb brought out a particular acute attack of the madness. All those Annabel Karmel recipes, spending £100s on every type of ergonomic beaker imaginable to find best fit with pfbs little lips, taking out an extension on the mortgage to fund the "perfectly ripe" avocado bill (best thing for weaning don't you know), and obsessive meal times - if it's 10 mins late she might be So Tired she will merely Slump in her chair and she will Miss A Meal probably leading to Poor Sleep and a general spiral into Oblivion.

Bless. My second precious born DS used to get given a bottle of milk in one hand and a nana in the other, at some time vaguely approximating to mealtime. Much better way of doing things!

KateMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 30-Jul-14 12:18:36

Ah, this thread is wonderful <remembers own atrocious preciousness which I also tried to force my friends to emulate - the utter shame>

Do keep 'em coming - we've a lovely page of PFBisms over here, and we'll update it every now and then as more gasp-inducing examples emerge...

skyninja Wed 30-Jul-14 19:37:50

Posted this on another PFB thread.

Yes to list for babysitters, complete with what meals were to be eaten at what time, and what food I'd left for each meal, bathtimes, bed times, oh I could go on (even though DD was two before I would leave her overnight). Although I still do leave long lists if we leave them overnight.

I was fixated on newborns getting cold. DD developed a rash, I naturally assumed it was eczema, ran to the health visitor, who pointed out it was probably heat rash as it was August, a heatwave and she was wearing a hat....

DD wasn't allowed chocolate until she was 2 (I snatched a chocolate cake out of her hand at a party like a mental woman when she was bout 1), DS1 was about 1, DS2 was about six months weeks.

ThreeYorkshires Wed 30-Jul-14 20:55:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missorinoco Thu 31-Jul-14 11:08:16

Not quite PFB, but DC1 with the help of DC2 managed to convince me they needed ice cream warming for a few seconds in the microwave, otherwise it was too cold....

Singsongmama Thu 31-Jul-14 11:19:20

I STILL keep a breastfeeding diary....DS is 6 months blush and now a weaning section. I know it's ridiculous but I can't stop!

Worst pfb moments? The way I treated my mum probably. I'm one of four and my brothers are twins so hardly an easy ride but my mum and dad did a fine job of keeping us alive raising us. When DS came home from hospital I insisted that she had to sit down on the sofa to hold him. Preposterous!!

Also months later she was going to take him for a walk but I freaked out as they were leaving and put on my shoes as all of a sudden I fancied some air (ie - the thought of him being walked in his pram without me was sooooo stressful) We walked our usual route of about two miles and the whole way round I pointed out hazards to her. Bless her, she just let me and said "uh-hu, hmmmm, oh yes" as I averted her from such horrific dangers as stones on the path, unruly shrub branches, uneven pavement surfaces, insects, direct glare of the sun AND reflected glare of the sun. The next time she took him for a walk I managed to stay at home....not before saying (I'm embarrassed to admit this) "Stay on the pavements and don't let go of the pram on the big hill." blush

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