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Back to work - it will be ok, won't it?

(30 Posts)
lchats Sun 30-Dec-12 18:57:52

First day back to work on wed after a year off Still on mat leave with dd after a year off and due back to work on Wed. Im ready to join the adult world but feeling really apprehensive and very sad about leaving her 4 days a week... Just looking for words of encouragement to get me through new year without too many tears...

lchats Sun 30-Dec-12 18:59:13

Whoops sorry about the start not sure how to edit!

BubblesAndBeans Sun 30-Dec-12 19:13:33

I am sure everything will be just fine! I went back to work in September after 8 months at home with dd and was dreading it a lot. The first few days were hard but once i settled into the new routine, it was all ok and after a while i had to admit it felt really good to be at work again.
Give yourself time to adjust to the changes and soon you will wonder what you were so worried about!
Is your dd going to nursery while you are at work?

mermaid101 Sun 30-Dec-12 19:18:14

Not only will it be fine, there is a good chance it will be very good and you will enjoy it. I went back to work full time after almost a year off and, like the other posters, did find it a bit difficult at first, but now find going to work enjoyable in a way I didn't before.

Is there anything in particular you are worried about, or is it the whole change?

AndMiffyWentToSleep Sun 30-Dec-12 19:27:23

I was expecting it to be really traumatic but it was actually fine.

Just think - you can go to the loo all by yourself! You can finish a cup of tea whilst it is still hot! And take a lunch break! smile

GEM33 Sun 30-Dec-12 19:33:18

hi ichats, im back to work on saturday after over a year off and still breast feeding 9 times a day and every hour through the night...totally dreading leaving my precious dd in the hands of someone else who wont do it MY WAY!!! wondering how sore by boobs will get and just dreading having to get dressed in the morning after suffering quite bad pnd. work seems like a bad joke at the moment.

good luck to you xxx

lchats Sun 30-Dec-12 19:39:40

Thanks all! Dd is going to my mums two days and nursery two days - so a nice balance, and no real concerns there. I think as silly as it sounds my main worries are that I won't have such a special bond with dd and somehow the changes will alter her funny quirky personality. Also that I will be tired all the time and not enjoy dd, my job is quite demanding so will battle to keep a good work/life balance..

lchats Sun 30-Dec-12 19:40:11

Good luck to you too Gem33, hope it goes ok!

BikeRunSki Sun 30-Dec-12 20:04:38

It will be OK! I am back to work after 15 months away (mat leave for 12 months, then accumulated leave and bank hold) with DC2. Going back after DC1 was a doddle and I appreciated the break. This time I am not so sure. It's not the work, it's the mornings and evenings - my office has moved, increasing my commute by an hour and has no car park; DH used to work 10 mons from home, now an hour away (was made redundant last year), and until DS goes to school we won't even break even.

lchats Mon 31-Dec-12 06:02:38

Bikerun sounds rubbish - can yr work be flexible with your hours?

BikeRunSki Mon 31-Dec-12 07:22:44

I already work flexi time, but with the new commute I am not sure how I am going to get my hours in. 8 hours work + 2 hours commute = 11 hours, nursery is open for 10. DH is a site manager and is contracted to work "as site hours demand" (read 12 hours a day and Saturdays).

GEM33 Mon 31-Dec-12 13:02:07

bikerun, flippin heck that sounds bloody hard. have you thought about changing jobs? could you find something closer? I think about doing something different every day the closer it gets to going back because i have to do shift work and it makes me extremely tired and i dont think dd will be able to get into a routine because my shifts change so much. I often wonder how much we would bring home if we gave up work.
I really admire you for doing what you are doing, I could not bear to travel an hour to work and then have no where to park nearby, the stress of that would finish me off! you deserve a medal!

Bluefrogs Mon 31-Dec-12 13:17:25

Hi Gem,I'm interested in how you are going to work whilst bf regularly especially the night feeds!
Genuine question as just interested in your options really and how your employer is going to support you

GEM33 Mon 31-Dec-12 13:37:52

hey bluefrogs - - honest answer- I have no idea. my baby is nearly 13 months now so she should be eating more solids and she really does not need the night feeds its purely comfort as we have got into such a bad boob sleep association it needs breaking so i think night shifts will help because dh will just have to cope.
I'll have to decrease gradually. Work are supposed to give me a room to express but there isnt anywhere suitable so they have said i can go home to feed baby/express or have her brought to where i work. I dont know how often I'll have to empty yet as we've never been apart. DD wont like it but she really needs to drop some feeds. its just the whole shift thing and not being able to get into a routine that concerns me. (and the fact that i work in so many different places i dont know how work will guarantee i can get home to express but thats their problem because when i need to go i'll be going no matter what. my health is more important than work thats for sure.)

Its going to be tough until she adjusts but it really needs to happen. Im feeling so tied down to her as i have still never left her with anyone for any length of time. With me around all day every day she just guzzles boobmilk 24/7.
are you b'fing?

Bluefrogs Mon 31-Dec-12 14:02:01

Gem,no I'm not bf,I have got 2 yr old twins and I formula fed them but I guess that's why I was interested because I wondered what the practicalities were regarding that.
I work full time and went back when the twins were 8 months old,hard work yes but by that point I was ready to go back!
It will be hard,and I know the name isn't popular in here but I did use Gina ford as a guide and a reference point to getting into a routine-crucial for us as we would never have got anything done otherwise!
Personally I found it easier to go to work when they were very little,it's getting harder now as they are such characters and they ask where I'm going but long term it really is for the best for us I feel.
Who is going to look after your dd?

BikeRunSki Mon 31-Dec-12 16:18:01

GEM, I haven't started it yet, I will just have to see how it goes. I am basically only going back now to keep me in a job. I am very specialist in a profession with him unemployment at the moment. I do also really like my job!

BikeRunSki Mon 31-Dec-12 16:21:30

The office move was only 3 miles - its just that that's the difference between being on the outskirts of Leeds, easy road access from "my side" and being in the city centre and having to travel on one of the most congested bits of motorway in the country.angry . Then fight for public parking.

GEM33 Mon 31-Dec-12 20:02:56

good luck bikerunski! sorry ichat i didnt mean to hijack your thread. mm there is a big difference when you enjoy your job eh?! I hate mine at the best of times!!
bluefrog - my dh is going to look after dd as he is self employed and he 'll just have to work around me. when she is better used to being without me i might think about leaving her with nursery or other family members.
im just listening to her screaming for me now as this is the first night dh is trying to get her to sleep.. its not going well.

lagoonhaze Mon 31-Dec-12 20:57:41

Gem33 - my on demand BF 10mth old adapted instantly to no milk just water in day f/t at nursery. I did one week of dont offer but dont refuse. It was fine. She feeds on demand around me now at 13mths. Please dont worry too much. They are very creative adaptable souls.

OP you will be fine. You may even enjoy it. Meal plans and be organised. Try and bath every other night (impossible for us as we BLW). Dont try and keep up with everyone and expectations. Drop your standards on housework too!

letsgetreadytoramble Mon 31-Dec-12 21:12:25

OP, I understand how you're feeling, I'm back to work on Monday after 6 months mat leave, leaving 5 month old DS with a childminder 3 days and my MIL 1 day a week. I love my job but I'm going to miss my DS so much, every time I think about it I have a wobbly moment. I keep desperately trying to think if there is any way I can extend my leave, but there isn't. I find it really hard to think that I won't be able to see his little face whenever I want to, and I know he'll wonder where I am too. Sorry, that's probably just made it worse hasn't it. You're not alone though, hope you'll be ok.

lchats Tue 01-Jan-13 17:57:17

So it's tomorrow - feeling sick to my stomach - good to know there might be light at the end of the tunnel!

AndMiffyWentToSleep Tue 01-Jan-13 19:22:25

Good luck!

BikeRunSki Tue 01-Jan-13 21:27:22

Lchats and GEM33 - good luck tommorow. I have been weepy all evening. I went to get my work bag and found the spare knickers I used to carry around when I was pg. It suddenly hit me how long it has been since I was there.

Tolly81 Tue 01-Jan-13 21:52:11

Good luck all, will be looking out for updates of how you get on as I'm back to work soon and have nursery settling in sessions this week sad

GEM33 Tue 01-Jan-13 22:02:57

Good luck iChat's! I had a shock today when my supervisor text to say hi see you tomorrow...forgetting I have dropped a few shifts so not back until sat. Let us know how you get on iChat's xxxx
Bikerunski, ha I wondered what you were going to say when I started reading about spare knickers in your bag!! I know it is so hard to think how long we have had off from work. I don't know about your job but mine changes computer systems and procedures all the time so I'm not going to know what the hell I'm doing for a few weeks. My biggest worry is night shifts and how dd will get to sleep and how my partner will cope with the hourly wakings when she is screaming for me. He tried and failed to get h to sleep last night.

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