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Arghhhhhhhhhh...Feel terrible! Cruel bottom-smacking mummy here!

(33 Posts)
sweetone Wed 10-Aug-05 23:10:57

GRRRRRR..........Soz

Hey
Im feeling awful after a little incident with dd1 (5yrs) so thot I could share it with the mumsnet crew!
Both her and her little sister had been refusing to pick up the toys the night before, being a nuisance in bedtime etc..
This evening dd1 was being a pain while having a bath in her own prissy-girly ways, and after dressing her, she refused to dry her hair so I threated to give her one sore bottom if she didnt act up .
Believe me,its been a while since Ive had to actually attach my hand on their bottoms because meanwhile, 'threats' of smacked bottoms have been doing the trick.
So oh well...fast forward on, and after she 'bit' my hand, I finally gave up, tugged her shorts down and smacked her like 2 or 3 times on her bare botty.
After a little while i started feeling so bad for her, went into her room, and checked her little bottom (there was nothing though.)
On the plus though, I have to say that she is now behaving more like a little angel!!!
Still feel bad though... have others had moments like this lol?

Sophie

BadHair Wed 10-Aug-05 23:20:54

I'm a bottom smacker too, although I'll get shot down in flames for it. They only get one smack though, and only when they're really naughty and not responding to ANYTHING else.
Just the one is enough to remind them that they don't like it, and the next time I threaten it they soon stop being naughty.
I don't like doing it but they get to a point when they just laugh at other sanctions like taking toys away.

moondog Wed 10-Aug-05 23:23:15

Don't worry about it sweetone. I administer the occasional spank (as did my parents) in extremis and it generally has the desired effect.

There are more of us than you may think.

SoapMum Thu 11-Aug-05 00:51:42

Hi there sweetone I too am a bottom smacker and totally believe in it, like BadHair said I will will also prob get shot down in flames but then going on to moondog so did her parents and so did mine. I do believe children need to be dissaplined but as long as it is not excessive.

QueenOfQuotes Thu 11-Aug-05 00:58:55

Another bottom smacker here. As soapmum says as long it's not excessive and not the only means of discipline I don't believe it does them any harm.

jabberwocky Thu 11-Aug-05 03:08:39

Sometimes you just have to get their attention.

<jabber runs off to hide after admitting this attitude>

QueenOfQuotes Thu 11-Aug-05 03:23:43

LOL@jabber

keiramummy Thu 11-Aug-05 15:00:30

Sophie really put this into context...why are you so worried?
I smack, so do probably most others from time to time.
It is the child abusers who should be feeling terrible not the random mums who might smack children on the tushy as a last resort.
Hate to sound like the goody goody princess but there are far more terible things going on in other parts of the world to some kids , in comparison to a well fed, healthy,otherwise happy little girl whos got a little bit of a stingy botty! IIts nothing dont worry.
Vicki

lucy5 Thu 11-Aug-05 15:15:19

I'm not a smacker but can see how you reached this point. When i feel that I am close to losing it I walk away and have a cigarette in the garden. So you see no-one is perfect

sweetone Thu 11-Aug-05 20:36:12

yep thnks for the comments so far

dd seems to be fine and im starting to feel that maybe sometimes little bottom smacks here and there arent too bad .
Just the way i lost control that night was what bothered me!
Kepp replying thnks

Enid Thu 11-Aug-05 20:37:04

hmmm

hercules Thu 11-Aug-05 20:38:40

Perhaps you need to think of other alternatives so that next time you lose it instead of smacking because you lost it you have an alternative plan. It might help to think it through prior to getting worked up so you dont need to think about it at the time iyswim.

Aragon Thu 11-Aug-05 20:50:20

I don't think I am a smacker. However, I did tap DS on the bottom (over his nappy) three days ago when I'd lost my rag with him for deliberately defying me.

For me this felt like I'd "lost it". I honestly felt really wicked and ended up in the bedroom trying to reassure myself that I wasn't a dreadful mother. (Especially being a HV who has to advocate the current "no smacking" advice).

However, there are real differences between people who lose it occasionally and smack (and then regret it or feel bad) and those who "lose it" constantly and go over the top. You don't sound like someone who does this. If you hate smacking then it's worth leaving the room and counting to ten before going back into the fray or just shoving your daughter into her room and telling her she can come out when she's prepared to do what you say - then make sure she obeys before letting her out.

cuddlymum Sun 14-Aug-05 14:26:12

Hi, I am trying to solve the issues with other ways and means these days but when I have smacked dd2 I get a 'that didn't hurt!' so have now when needed - although not that often reverted to the lower part of the leg where it stings her more.... how awful is that? Children seem to know what buttons to push on you, I do have a lot of patience but unfortunately we all lose the plot at times. I reckon if you didn't then you must be a saint!

hercules Sun 14-Aug-05 15:20:28

nice.

edam Sun 14-Aug-05 15:44:18

Hercules made a good point about working out, in advance, how to handle situations where you lose control. One smack, not too forceful, isn't going to kill a child. But if you are losing control, you need to regain it.

PS I did smack ds, once, on the hand, when I was cooking and he was trying to put his toy pots and pans on the gas hob. Felt dreadful but it was a fast way to get him out of a dangerous situation. Have now bought him his own toy kitchen to play with (as a birthday present, not as a reward for being naughty). If he does it again, I think I might turn the bloody gas off and drag him off to the naughty step, rather than attempt to carry on cooking - he sometimes needs to be put back on several times before he gets the message.

cuddlymum Mon 15-Aug-05 13:19:26

God just reading my reply I sound like an awful mother don't I? It is good to read what other people say but sometimes hard to put it all into practice at the end of the day.

HondaDream Tue 16-Aug-05 13:54:41

Cuddlymum I think you are a great mum. I too have a dd2 like yours who laughs when she gets smacked. What should we do?? I admire any mum who can do the NO SMACKING thing.

Blu Tue 16-Aug-05 14:15:57

Just wondering why we need detailed descriptions of incidents like this - and encouraging people to share descriptions, too.

paolosgirl Tue 16-Aug-05 14:21:08

Yep, have had moments like this with DS!! I don't want to get in to the usual MN debate about smacking, but there are more of us out there than you think! We don't all lose it, and we're not all 'bad' parents who need intensive parenting classes. Mmmm?

dropinthe Tue 16-Aug-05 14:24:29

Blu-think sweetone just wanted some reassurance that she wasn't alone!

dropinthe Tue 16-Aug-05 14:29:05

And who is encouraging anyone to describe incidents??

Why don't you say what you are really thinking,Blu??

cuddlymum Tue 16-Aug-05 16:25:52

Thanks Hondadream, you made me feel much better, having a bad hair day with my darlings! Glad to hear that I am not the only one that has these.

HondaDream Tue 16-Aug-05 16:37:34

blu, thought that's what mumsnet was for- to share experiencces, good or bad and to check we are on the right path with it all.

dropinthe Tue 16-Aug-05 16:41:48

Blu's disappeared!

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