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Went to the PERFECT party today ... left feeling inadequate...

(54 Posts)
Gameboy Sun 07-Aug-05 21:57:56

My DD went to the 3rd birthday party of a nusery friend today. It was actually really lovely, but I was just overwhelmed by how perfect it all was...

It was about 15 kids in their (big!) garden, and they'd decked it out with balloons etc. They had loads of outdoor toys/ climbing frame/ games etc. The party table was all colourful and matching. All the kids behaved really well, sat nicely and ate a yummy party tea. Meanwhile the hostess produced a tray of dips & canappes (sp?) and wine/ beer etc.
Their house was beautiful, and really tidy. Their kids are gorgeous bright and polite...

And when we left DD got a party bag which was really well thought out (not just crap).

As I said, it was absolutely perfect, but I came away feeling sort of overwhelmed - I don't know how these people manage it - they both work full time, and yet they seem to somehow have it 'all together' IYSWIM?
Don't quite know why, but I sort of feel jealous and inadequate as a result??

qsack Sun 07-Aug-05 22:12:58

hi, it does sound amazing but you need to remember that your dd wouldn't notice all that stuff, i'm sure she couldn't care less if the house was tidy or not, or the table stuff matching, etc, etc. you know what would make her happy on her birthday and the most important thing is that she knows you love her. maybe they have help during the week? either way, don't beat yourself up about it, life's way too short!

Gillian76 Sun 07-Aug-05 22:14:40

They probably hired a party co-ordinator! DOn't let it get to you. The kids don't care about the tidy house or whether the stuff matches!

Caligula Sun 07-Aug-05 22:16:08

They've spent the last 3 months organising it and are now on the point of divorce. Their 3 year old is in heavy therapy and the hostess is addicted to her child's ADHD medication.

Gillian76 Sun 07-Aug-05 22:17:05

Yay, that sounds like it, Caligula!

morningpaper Sun 07-Aug-05 22:17:31

They probably NEVER have sex.

What was in the party bags btw? nosey

Gameboy Sun 07-Aug-05 22:20:09

Ha Ha - maybe.
Or maybe actually it wasn't really THAT special, but I just didn't notice cos I'd had a few glasses of wine, and it was a nice hot sunny day, and I could just sit back and relax....

Seriously though - it would be easier if the parents were horrible or snotty, but they weren't - they were really nice, easy-going people. At one point the Dad had all the kids conga-ing round the garden! They just seem a bit of a 'Cornflake Family' LOL!

Gillian76 Sun 07-Aug-05 22:20:58

... and what about the party bags then???

morningpaper Sun 07-Aug-05 22:21:38

Don't worry, he's impotent.

I DO think that children's parties should generally have a lot of alcohol for the mummies and daddies...

Gameboy Sun 07-Aug-05 22:23:20

oh - party bags - minitub of play doh with a cutter, a bean bag and a proper 'mini-treasures' book....

cod Sun 07-Aug-05 22:24:00

Message withdrawn

Gameboy Sun 07-Aug-05 22:25:31

Really Cod?! DD loved it - and I thought it was better than the Woolworths crap bracelets which are the sort of things I buy, but then break the minute they put them on....

cod Sun 07-Aug-05 22:26:02

Message withdrawn

wassy Sun 07-Aug-05 22:28:27

Sadly Gameboy, I know all too well how you feel. As for trying the image of them having a less than perfect life behind closed doors, that theory just keeps getting whooping great big holes in it

yingers74 Sun 07-Aug-05 22:28:56

Gameboy - don't even worry about it. we all have good and bad days and this was just one of their good days. If you dropped by on a different day, it would probably be a mad house, and u would leave thinking 'thank god i am so much more organised etc etc'.

Gillian76 Sun 07-Aug-05 22:29:45

we gave play dough at DDs 5th birthday party in Feb!

TwinSetAndPearls Sun 07-Aug-05 22:31:15

At dd birthday party last year ( and it is unlike me to blow my won trumpet but I do throw the best kids parties north of watford ) I gave away playdough in the party bags. I then went beserk when someone bought it for dd as it is the devils handywork, especially shop bought stuff.

Good parties do take a lot of planning.

IlanaK Sun 07-Aug-05 22:31:59

Well, just a view from "the other side" so to speak. My ds1's parties are like that. He is 4 now and I can say that all his parties from 1 upwards have been very much as you described. However, I absolutely LOVE planning parties so I spend literally months planning them and really enjoy it. I think out the party bags really carefully too as I hate the crap in most. So, in answer to your question, I would guess that mum likes planning parties and has been planning it for a while.

wheresmyfroggy Sun 07-Aug-05 22:32:21

Play doh is great.

Dont give it to the kids, just sit there and sniff it for hours like some deranged glue sniffer........ooooh lovely

TwinSetAndPearls Sun 07-Aug-05 22:34:41

After dd easter party am Mum who I see as very organised,someone I look up to, came to say thankyou for inviting her son to the party because it was fab but it made her feel awful that she never did anything like that. But her house is always tidy and her children are better behaved than mine. She also works whereas I only do a few hours, she also has three children where I have 1. We all have our parenting stengths - mine is parties and timetables/lists!

TwinSetAndPearls Sun 07-Aug-05 22:36:09

IlanaK i have just bought a childrens party planner book it is fab. Dd have already planned our whole party year, while dp rocks nervously in the corner!

Jimjams Sun 07-Aug-05 22:36:11

You can get the play doh mini tubs in the party section at ToysRus. Easy peeasy.

TwinSetAndPearls Sun 07-Aug-05 22:37:56

I buy our playdough for our party bags in the poundshop, a pack of five is £1 which makes it 20p a pot.

i am in the middle of planning dd 4th birthday party and I am in my element.

lovecloud Sun 07-Aug-05 22:41:42

Gameboy - it does sound like it was a great party!

You could do it it just as good if you wanted to, it just sounds like they put a lot of effort and organisation into it.

I get so excited about xmas, easter, parties etc for my dd that I get so into it my dh takes the mick out if me and all of my friends ask me where i got the time to do it. I find the time because i enjoy doing it.

Dont let yourself feel jealous or inadequate, you should just let go and allow yourself and children to enjoy it!

frogs Sun 07-Aug-05 22:43:35

It's also practice, gameboy. She probably has older kids, and has all her party mistakes behind her.

Dd1 had a 4th birthday jointly with her best friend, whose mother had twin boys five years older. It was very valuable eyeopener in the art of kids' parties -- all sorts of things that I would never have thought of with a first child. Once you've got a few under your belt, you find a formula that works for you and just keep repeating it.

There's no great magic to it.

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