How did you start a routine with yr babies???(20 Posts)
DD2 is almost one month old (and is beautiful) and we've had no routine - sleeps and feeds when she wants. Nights are crazy and i'm exhausted from lack of sleep. i also have a 3.5yr old. DD2 is also breastfed.
i want to start DD2 on some kind of routine and quite like Tracey Hogg's easy. I'm the kind of person that needs structure and need to feel like i need to have some kind of control.
how did you start your baby on a routine and who did you use????
i used tracey hogg from around 6weeks old. I think i read book decided what we wanted to do as such then used it..lol
thanks Nemo, how did you get your baby to go between feeds and did you wake up baby to feed??
oh, the routine is definitely for me!! i don't feel any shame in that ... i seem to have lost all my confidence and feel like a first time mum again. maybe its because DD2 is breastfed whilst DD1 was bottlefed so still feeling like its all new territory.
surprisingly with ds he seemed ok with the waiting in between feeds...obviously it was flexible as i cant stand this oo leave them 4 hrs exactly..after first feed i think he realised he need to take more milk in order to last a little longer..
i think i started a routine around 6/8wks, and i used gina (argghhhhh) and t hogg, ds was breastfeed (still is) and i had dd who was just coming up to 2, in the early weeks. ds fell into dd's evening routine quite quickly, bath and chilling out before sleep at 7/7.30pm.
i am so routine orientated, it makes me sane, if i didnt know what way the day was going to be i'd go loopy, i need to know when i can escape - ie both feed, sleep etc.
of course when ds was hungry and feeding quite often i feed him, but there came a point when i knew he had enough and therefore the structuring to his feeds came about and he went along with it. around 3 1/2mths there was a bad period, he was terribly irratable and feeding him wasthe only to do. bit stressed then, but after that G Fords routines worked perfectly for me and he still has an am and a pm feed at 1yr 4days!
routines prescribed by someone else will invariably drive you crazy if your baby dosn't fit neatly into their plan.
Saying that....... I started a bedtime routine with DS when he was 4 weeks. Bath at 5pm, lights down, TV barely audible and a long, long BF before bed, in his room.
Using Elizabeth Pantley's book and baby Whisperer to find out how long DS should be awake between naps then roughly would plan my day from when he woke up i.e up at 7am, would be vigilant to put him down again at 8am when he was tiny etc etc.
oh, and BF your baby to sleep is NORMAL when they're less than 6 months old, no matter what that bloody Hogg woman says!!!!!!!!!!!
there were two days in succession when ds woke up at the same time, so I reckoned he could cope with going to bed at the same time, and got a bedtime routine going which lasted until 3 weeks ago (approx 16 months)
I'm not a great believer in rigid routines. I've done the same with all four of my babies, just encouraging them to learn the diff between night and day and working from that. After lots of boring nights in the dark with a mummy who won't chat or play they quickly get the idea that night is for sleeping. Encouraging lots of feeds durign the day means they don't need to feed as much at night and start sleepign thru.
I then used that to get them off to bed at 7, by taking them thru in the dark so they know it's bedtime. They usually protest for 5 mins then settle down to sleep. During the day I looked for their pattern of feeding and stuck to that, til we had it all set. I go out when I feel like it, and they sleep and feed as usual.
I really would recommend trying to follow baby's cues, it is far easier than tryign to pigeon hole them into someone else prescribed routine.
I have no idea who this Hogg woman is, so cannot comment. But I can tell you what worked for me.
At about 8 weeks old(after many a sleepless night), we started putting together an evening routine.
Keep-or try to keep baby awake as much as possible during daytime.
We would bath ds at 6-ish, give the next feed, and put to bed. We used the controlled crying technique for about 2 weeks, then it all suddenly fell into place. Eventually the night feeds got further and further apart.
At about 10 weeks ds started sleeping 7pm-7am, giving us our nights back(thankfully!)
Good luck in finding what works for you
I think that 1 month is very young to be thinking of a routine - especially for a breastfed baby. dd3 used to stay up most of the evening (until late) feeding and then wake up twice in the night at that stage. I suppose that around 6 weeks I started thinking about a regular bathtime but naps were still all over the place. It is only now at 6 months that I am more strict about regular daytime naps and going to bed at the same time every night.
I did find that dd3 dropped her first night time feed at about 6 weeks and then everything improved!
Blossom2 - I was in the same boat nearly a year ago (time flies) - absolutely exhausted and with a toddler as well, nightmare.
Day - I sort of had a routine, fed every 3 hours (b/fed) and did a kind of Gina lite in the day - sleep after 2 hours, whether in the cot/moses/car/pram, attempted nap at lunch with varying degrees of success. I didn't wake her up at 7am or whatever, just worked off the time she got up iyswim.
Evenings. Ha! I put dd2 in the cot upstairs after her bath and feed at 6.30pm and she woke up for a couple of feeds in the evening. I used to go upstairs and feed her and then come back down (unless I fell asleep!).
Nightime - fed her next to me in bed and then put her back in her cot (unless I fell aspeep...).
It all got better at about 3 months. Now this is when I stopped b/feeding, could have been a coincidence but I was much happier so maybe she was too. I am not saying give up b/feeding at all, BUT if you are happier doing so, DO NOT FEEL BAD if you do. I found it REALLY HARD to b/feed and sort out my toddler as well.
She is generally an angel baby now.
It does get better love!
My baby is now 8 weeks old and (now) fully breastfed, and has had a routine from birth. The reason for this was a mixture of the fact that I personally preferred to have a general 'order of things' - I think that it helped me to be able to 'read' dd, and to know what she needs at any point in time, but also that dd herself has grown into someone who definitely seemed to like routine. I also don't like the idea of waiting until she cries to be fed, or put to sleep. I find it easier to get her to settle if I know that she is likely to be tired, and calm and settle her before she actually cries, and the same with feeding. When she was born she was jaundiced and didn't wake for feeds, so we were advised to wake her every three hours to feed. After a couple of weeks we were allowed to leave her up to four hours if she hadn't woken herself. But still now, she wakes, we have a short cuddle/play until she is not too sleepy still to latch on well, then we feed her and then she plays. She stays awake about 2 hours now before needing her next sleep. I read Tracey Hogg's book and based our scheme on that, but I also bought Gina Ford's sleep book last week and have used that for a guide as to how long her daytime naps should be. I don't go by her routines to the letter - we are flexible enough to suit us, but when dd suddenly stopped settling well in the evening I bought the sleep book because I wanted to know whether our expectations were reasonable. I realised that I had forgotten to guide her into having shorter naps during the day - she would sleep for England still! - and so she was just not tired at 7-7.30pm any more. We have spent a couple of days waking her from her daytime naps 'on time' and now she wakes naturally, and is back to settling well in the evening and sleeping through the night. She wakes herself at 7am-ish and has a feed, has an hour or so's nap at 9am, up about 10am, feed, then nap at 12pm-ish for 2-2.5 hours, up at 2.30pm-ish, feed, nap for 1 hour at 4-4.30pm, feed, play bath, bed at 7-7.30pm. We dreamfeed her about 11pm and she sleeps through until the morning. I know that we are very very lucky with her, but I am sure that her daytime routine helps to make sure that she sleeps well at night - she is not too tired to settle easily, but neither is she too awake! We did have problems breastfeeding, so most of her feeds were EBM in a bottle until recently, but that does seems to have helped her to get used to taking a full feed each time, to see her through - she has never got into the habit of snacking, and she has continued to take full feeds from the breast. The one thing that we have found is that it is easier now to still give her her dreamfeed from a bottle - she is so deeply asleep at 11pm that I can't get her to latch without waking her up, and as she hasn't been used to that it is very very hard to settle her back to sleep again. We only made that mistake once!
I'm not saying that it will be easy to start this now, but I do believe that it is worthwhile - dd is very contented and rarely cries. I started by waking her at 7.30am (this was our one fixed point in the day), whatever time she had last woken in the night, to start our day and make sure that she got all her feeds in, and then following EASY. My top tip would be to make sure that your dd takes a full feed - make sure you have a good latch, she comes off satisfied, then offer her the second breast - rouse her by changing her nappy if you need to. If she seems to be sleeping at the end of the feed, it is not necessarily tired sleep per se, but may just be drug-induced sleep from the hormones during breastfeeding! At about 4 weeks, dd had a roughly 3 hour cycle - 1.5 hours awake, then 1.5-2 hours asleep. She was waking one in the night after her dreamfeed - this started at 2.30am, then moved to 3am, 4am, 5am, 5.30am, 6am (that one was a bugger - too early to be up, too late to go back to sleep!) and then finally 7am. I couldn't be happier, and neither could she. Although that may change later today - she has her first vaccinations this afternoon .
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Hogg recommends that you observe your baby for three days, note what time she likes to do things and built your routine around your baby's needs and natural patterns (Not make the baby fit a prescribed routine!). Then structure the EASY pattern around your baby's natural rythms. I did it with mine, and she fell into the pattern really easy and gave us some much needed structure. Read the baby whsiperer and her website for more info. I did all the cluster feeding method and as a bfed baby she slept through from 6 weeks!
I think you need to consider a routine that will fit in with your other child and I started with bath/bedtime. As soon as DD's cord dropped off I/we (found it easier with DH's help but he was away some nights) bathed DS and DD together at 7 pm. Then I would breastfeed DD in the darkened bedroom and try to put her down while DH did DS's teeth and story. I would then keep her in the bedroom until morning - some evenings she would need subsequent feeds, other times she would go down for a few hours. I then gradually started trying to get her onto 3 naps a day which I had got sorted by about 12 weeks. The 3rd nap she would usually have in the pram at about 5 when I would collect DS from nursery which took about 1/2 hour or just go for a walk on the other days. Also tried to ensure she was feeding sufficiently in the day - she was exclusively breast fed until 5 months.
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