I know she is not coping because she tells me she feels completely overwhelmed and "scared" of him.
I can also see that she is miserable with the way things are going. She phones me in tears because he won't turn off the tv. She sometimes locks herself in the car.
She absolutely adores her little boy. She cries because she loves him so much and wishes she were "a better mum for him" (her words).
She is a fairly positive person, if a little moany. She is quite an emotional, impulsive person.
She genuinely believes that the problem is that her little boy is an exeptionally challenging child, and that she is just not up to the task of parenting him. The truth is that he is a very sweet little boy. No more of a PITA than the average 2yo, and a great deal easier than most I know. He is a normal little boy, fairly self contained, prone to the odd tantrum and battle of wills, a happy little thing.
She talks at length about how he is just astonishingly willful and she is powerless in the face of his iron will. She believes that my own children just do as I say all the time (ha ha ha).
Example: In a car park he ran off and she threw up her arms and said "You see? Look! He has no sense of danger, he just runs off! He ignores me calling him back!" like that was proof of 'what she has to deal with'. I told her to bloody well chase after him then (a rare unsympathetic moment) and she pointed out that it was okay for me, because my children wouldn't run off in a car park. Of course they would! You just have to hang on to them, and drone on and on about how to walk safely in a car park, and do it again tomorrow, and again the next day, and it's dull and repetetive but you can't not do it.
She says she lives for the days he goes to nursery. 6 months ago she was agonising over whether or not to send him because she would miss him too much, but she felt he was ready.
Depression?
She is recently pregnant. Antenatal depression? (She is petrified about how she will cope with 2).
Please don't say mean things about my friend. She is a good person and a very caring mum. I am worried about her.
If she goes to the doctor they will likely prescribe her something and offer no other services (we're not in UK). Would that help?
How do I help my friend?
She has no family nearby, but we are part of a lovely circle of friends who all pitch in to help each other out.
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My friend is just not coping with her 2 yo. How do I help her?
17 replies
OnnaStick · 06/05/2010 13:00
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