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Why is it shocking to want 3 children???

(109 Posts)
Toothache Mon 01-Aug-05 12:49:05

...or more for that matter?

3 of my best friends don't have children (although want them..... partners not ready yet!). I have 2 and recently they have all asked me seperately if I would have anymore. I have said of course! They are SOOOOOOOOOO shocked by this and say things like "OMG are you mad??" or "You are a baby making machine aren't you?".... or "When are you going to stop??"

It actually upsets me. Even my friends that have children (1 or 2) seem really shocked by my wanting a 3rd....and perhaps a 4th child!

It makes me feel like I'm going OTT or that I'm doing something wrong!

I'm 27 FFS, I cannot possibly know how I will feel down the line. At the moment I want a 3rd. That might be it, that might be me settled, but then again it might not! Why do people make you feel like a freak if you want to have more than 2 children? Has anyone else experienced this?

I'm one of 4 and DH is one of 3. It isn't that unusual is it????????

dinosaur Mon 01-Aug-05 12:49:59

I think it's becoming increasingly usual Toothache. Three is the new two and all that.

Charlee Mon 01-Aug-05 12:51:07

im 18 and the way i fel at the moment i want the max amount of kids dp will agree to wich s only 5 who knows how my feeling will chang though, we are trying for number 2 at the moment.

Toothache Mon 01-Aug-05 12:51:52

Lol Dino.... is that like 40 is the new 30??

fqueenzebra Mon 01-Aug-05 12:53:46

I have been doing lots of family tree searching lately... the number of families in my geneology that numbered 8+ children. My GG-grandfather sired 23(by 3 different wives, I hasten to add). 14-19 wasn't unusual from the same mother, though.

3 is still positively dimunuative in my books.

Thomcat Mon 01-Aug-05 12:54:32

I'd like 3. It might not happen but ideally I'd love it.
D is one of 3.
About 4 close friends have 3 kids.
One friend has 5.
Nothing odd at all imo.
Why is it seen as the norm to only have 2????
You cracjk on love and don't worry about oither people. Good luck to you. TC x

Charlee Mon 01-Aug-05 12:54:54

my step mum has 7 brothers and 6 sisters!

dinosaur Mon 01-Aug-05 12:55:13

Exactly, Toothache. And as I'm now forty, I'll drink to that!

expatinscotland Mon 01-Aug-05 12:55:21

3 or 4 seems to be the new trend. At least, it's what I've noticed around here.

lydz Mon 01-Aug-05 12:55:36

Just ignore them - we're the freaky family at our school with <gasp> FOUR children and everyone has an opinion on whether we should have any more. I was one of 4, DH one of 3 too, I think it was more 'normal' back then, probably because having kids didn't involve spending vast amounts of money on baby equipment and stuff. Or something.

rickman Mon 01-Aug-05 12:55:38

Message withdrawn

niceglasses Mon 01-Aug-05 12:57:39

I have 3 and I'm not saying I'm finished.....

Be prepared for NOBODY congratulating you either when pg with 3rd. I was so angry. My hubbie is Irish and 3 is positively small over there. Go for it I say and TOSH to the rest...........

dinosaur Mon 01-Aug-05 12:58:12

Move to North or East London. Seriously, three is quite small round here.

motherinferior Mon 01-Aug-05 12:58:53

DP is one of four who all look identical, which I do personally find a little bizarre

Toothache Mon 01-Aug-05 12:58:58

Aw thanks folks. There won't be a 3rd for year or 2 yet though!!!

Maybe it's my age? Most ofmy friends are just starting out with the whole committment/moving in together/maybe marriage stuff. So they were shocked when I told them I was pregnant with ds nearly 5 yrs ago!

They are all older than me too, so I've always been the baby.

I get the feeling that when you annouce you are pg for the 1st time everyone is like "OH WOWOWOWOWOW CONGRATULATIONS!".... with your 2nd it's "OH WOW...did you plan this one... oh.... ok then Congratulations?"

Then the 3rd it will be "WHAT??? AGAIN?????

twirlaround Mon 01-Aug-05 13:08:19

Anything other than 2 kids (preferably one of each sex) will provoke stupid comments from other people - so don't take it to heart and ignore it all!

Toothache Mon 01-Aug-05 13:09:55

Twirlaround - Thats another problem. I have a boy and a girl.... so I also get the "But you already have one of each!!". SO WHAT????? I WANT A BIG BROOD SITTING AROUND THE TABLE AT CHRISTMAS DINNER!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Furball Mon 01-Aug-05 13:10:44

I get it the other way as we only want/have 1 and obvsiouly that is very cruel.

Charlee Mon 01-Aug-05 13:10:50

I dream of that toothache , a warm dining room decorated for crimbo, me bringing out the HUGEST turkey for my 10 kids all laughing and chatting, sigh!

throckenholt Mon 01-Aug-05 13:11:04

lots of people I know have 3 (or more) - no-one ever seems to query it. Not saying it is easy though

Toothache Mon 01-Aug-05 13:12:06

BLimey Charlee - You are only 18 and trying for your 2nd? How old is your first? .... bet you get that reaction all the time eh????

throckenholt Mon 01-Aug-05 13:12:35

zebra - does that mean you are going for more than your 3 then ?!

My family tree also has large families (as did practically everyones more than 100 years ago) - funnily enough I have no temptation to emulate them

aloha Mon 01-Aug-05 13:13:43

Three isn't just normal, it's very trendy. I feel postively drab with just my two (though luckily have bonus child with my lovely stepdaughter).
Took a bunch of flowers to my friend last week who had just told me she is expecting no3.

kama Mon 01-Aug-05 13:15:15

Message withdrawn

happymerryberries Mon 01-Aug-05 13:16:52

my great gran and her two sisters has 63 children between them!

I think that statsics show that women who practice no contraception have an av og 9 chilren in their life time

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