What's the most disgusting thing you've had to do as a parent?

[Roscat]

On Saturday we decided to go for a meal for the first time with our 2 year old son and new baby (2 weeks). While dh went for a quick dash round the supermarket with ds1 I fed baby in the car and changed his nappy - and he peed all over my jeans.
We figured that if we went home and back to the restaurant or went home and cooked a meal that ds1 would have a total meltdown (he tends to if he gets too hungry and he was already starting to get difficult) so for the sake of peace we just went on into the restaurant. I would never have dreamt of doing that before becoming a parent. Luckily the pee wasn't in a place where it looked as if I had wet myself and the restaurant was quite dark.
Please reassure me with your disgusting stories..

[jollydiane]

Welcome to parenthood. I have found lowering my standards makes me much happier.

I once had to pull a very hard poo out of DS bottom as he was badly constipated and was getting ever so upset that it wouldn't come out. There, feel better now?

[DrivenToDistraction]

I was just thinking that I didn't have anything particularly revolting to add, but if that's the base-line then I really don't know where to begin...

[Kneazle]

I once had to retrieve a lost baby tooth from a loo full of poo. [boak]

[wuglet]

Another one-time poo-miner

Have caught vomit in my hands

Picked their noses

god sooo much minginess in my house

[Stretch]

Extracting threadworms from DCs bottom

Having to get a stool sample for DDs ibs and slipping!

[morejuiceplease]

Caught vomit in my hands with absolutely no means of clearing it up. (was in supermarket, giant trolley, 2dc and no wipes or cloths)

[LadyPeterWimsey]

Had to retrieve a sheep from a poo-filled loo the other day. 'Twas a soft toy, obviously.

No WAY was that in the job description.

[TimothyTigerTuppennyTail]

Haven't had to do a poo one yet, but have caught sick many times!

[pinkmagic1]

Yuk, Strech, why on earth did you have to pull worms from your childs bum?

[Effjay]

DS1 caught a nasty stomach bug last year. As I was rushing him to the bathroom, he projectile vomitted all over me, top to toe. I had to have a shower, while my husband gave him a bath. Poor thing, but YUK!

[admylin]

Nothing really bothered me when they were babies but cleaning up vomit has to be the worst thing for me now that they are older. Doesn't happen often thank goodness.

Dd gets travel sick and she had an accident half way across the atlantic in the plane. I was prepared and had a change of top for her and myself but just before landing it happened again and we had used all the sick bags within easy reach so I had to catch it until dh found a bag, we just had to suffer it. Never go any where without travel pills now.

[Undercovamutha]

Vomit scooping with my hands on a good few occasions (once caught it mid-projectile and for a moment was actually quite pleased with myself before the grossness hit me).

Terrible diarrhoea incident in shopping centre (DD not me!). It was carnage.

My DH wins the prize though IMO, as he once picked DD up (at a 1st birthday party) and held her in the air over his head, looked up, and she puked all over his face !

[SpawnChorus]

I caught a fresh poo in my hand once. No, twice actually.

DS2 was sick in my mouth a couple of months ago.

[BertieBotts]

I think it was possibly when baby DS leaned over me, grinned gummily and dribbled a giant glob of snot and dribble right into my mouth how I managed to put him down calmly and not just freak out I will never know!

[cakeywakey]

I've had to catch vomit in my hands before too - always a pleasure

[MrsHappy]

My children haven't been too bad to me so far, but I have not forgotten the night I was chatting to our nanny after I got home from work. She was bathing my DD and as we talked DD handed something to her. We carried on talking for quite some time before she looked down and realised she was holding a large turd!

[Undercovamutha]

SpawnChorus, for some reason you have just made me laugh until I cried.

[wuglet]

Oh yes forgot....

picking and swilling poo out of the bath after DD

Every.Night.For.A.Friggin.Year!

[JaynieB]

Its always my DP who seems to catch the nastiest stuff, most recent was DD having been put to bed, filling her nappy and deciding to investigate the poo and take the nappy off. DP (unusually) answered the call to find child caked in poo...she then very politely asked him to wash her hands as she had something on them.

[ByThePowerOfGreyskull]

for me it is about the lack of self that I find disgusting.

I clearly remember having a bug when DS2 was tiny, being sick into a bowl held by DH and having Diaorrhea (sp?) into the loo whilst breastfeeding DS2 so that he wasn't screaming and waking up DS1 as it was 2 in the morning.

[Kneazle]

Once a friend of mine was changing her toddler on my kitchen floor and a poo rolled out of the nappy and under the fridge. I went and got a ruler and got down on all fours to poke it out of there. We just carried on having a conversation as if nothing had happened. I didn't even think about it until later .. the lows we mothers sink to.

[5inthebed]

I've had to wash the walls, cot bars and sheets many a time when DS2 decided his poo would make a lovely textured art material.

[Feenie]

Ds co-sleeps with us after about midnight, and sat up once and was promptly sick on my face. Has to be in the top ten worst ways to be woken up, I reckon!

[LittleWhiteWolf]

DD not too long ago had a sick bug and was sitting on my knees. She pooed and I carried on holding her for a few minutes to make sure she was done. When DH took her to change her there was runny poo all down my leg. I took them off and sluiced them down and got it out, but there was a stain. My mum (for I was at her house) found me a pair of leggings to wear. On the way home we had to stop at the co-op and I couldnt go out just in those leggingsI had a jumper on that just skimmed my bumso I put the jeans back on and nipped into the shop. All I could smell was poo...but I convinced myself that was just me being paranoid.
I KNOW DH could have popped in for me but he would have gotten all the wrong things...

[smokinaces]

I've been puked on, peed on and pooed on. You're not a parent unless you have the 3 Ps

Have walked round a shopping centre in a top that got all three (and breastmilk) when DS1 was little. By the time I got pooed on I gave up and went to buy a new top. Had to carry DS1 at the time though, to cover the poo stain and pretend it was him that smelt not me

Have had my hand down the toilet to clean out an entire loo roll unravelled and put down there by DS1 when he was wiping his own backside.

Have had the puke in mouth thing too [vom] - why is it they always want a kiss and cuddle just as they up-chuck??