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Absolutely devastated

(12 Posts)
PeachyClair Fri 22-Jul-05 08:44:35

As soe of you will know, we have been trying to get support and a Socail Worker for sam for some months now, as we hger very little sleep and he has violent episodes, mostly directed to his brother. We have got nowhere, e-mails / phone calls etc all unanswered.

A few days ago, Dh and I had a big row due to tiredness and financial stress - NO violence / threats of or anything- we made up in minutes, but before we did Mark was going to walk out, and as a panick thing I called the police, remembering amrk's threatened suicide bid lasyt year, but i hung up before talking to anyone. They came anyway- to find we had made up alrady- Now we have a letter from SS warning us if we 'do it again' they will take child protection action!

Kids wern't even with us!

Absolutely devastated, heartbroken, terrified. I try hard to be a parent 24 hours a day with little rest and even less support. I don't deserve this!

pinkmama Fri 22-Jul-05 08:47:56

Peachyclair, I dont know your situation, but it sounds terrible, and I am so sorry you are facing all this. You must feel terrible, and like the people who you hoped could help are just turning against you. Just wanted to say sorry.

PeachyClair Fri 22-Jul-05 09:15:18

I should have specified, Sam has Aspergers

acnebride Fri 22-Jul-05 09:18:36

God peachyclair, sounds completely awful. Wish I had something helpful to say.

assumedname Fri 22-Jul-05 09:18:43

Do you think it might be a good idea for you to see a solicitor and get a letter sent to all parties explaining things, including the lack of sleep etc and lack of help? And that you just panicked etc?

for you.

PeachyClair Fri 22-Jul-05 09:25:11

The letter says that it is just routine, Dh says I am panicking and that if they really thought there was an issue they would react now?

One fight, we don't deserve this!!

alux Fri 22-Jul-05 09:27:12

yes, get legal advice regarding SS's threats. I would hope a stern letter to SS detailing the many instances YOU have contacted them to try to ilicit THEIR support with no response. Do NOT take a half-hearted apology from them.

This is the last thing you need on top of your problems.

alux Fri 22-Jul-05 09:28:47

sorry assumed name. a threat is a threat, especially one that they have put in writing. I would never take one lightly.

assumedname Fri 22-Jul-05 09:29:31


morningpaper Fri 22-Jul-05 09:35:15

So sorry you are going through this.

I'm sure it IS routine - did they know it was you calling? Could it have been one of your children?

The main reason for such a call would have been that he was threatening you with violence. Any other reason sounds like an excuse, really, even if you know it is true. The Police have a responsibility to react and in your case I think they did an impressive job. I think if the authorities came to any other conclusion (other than domestic violence) then they would be failing in their responsibilities.

Can you put in place another plan for when/if a 'disaster' happens again - maybe ring a friend who knows your DH and can help so that you make a different choice of actions next time?

assumedname Fri 22-Jul-05 09:37:31

alux - don't understand. I didn't say take it lightly, I suggested seeing a solicitor!!

PeachyClair Fri 22-Jul-05 09:51:19

I just called SS, to speak to Children and Disabilities Unit. Theya re going to make a referral- but get this- as there is no genuines suspicin of a child protection case, they may be too busy to help!!

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