Passive Parenting!!

[mogwai]

Ok, so who else fancies leaving the little one in a vibrating chair with flashing lights while they nip down the pub for some guilty pleasure at lunchtime? Is this breaking the law...technically?

Mine's a vodka and diet coke, and as it's lunchtime, I'll bag some potato wedges

[misdee]

luchtime ? i had mine 9hours ago.

[monkeytrousers]

Breastfeding mothers - have a sneaky tramadol before your baby's last feed at night to ensure the little tyke as a full nights restful sleep.

[misdee]

dh hates tramadol.

[monkeytrousers]

Can't get mine off it now!

[serah]

Am I missing something? (apart from my brain, obviously). Whats tramadol? Will it make me sleep through? Can I have some? Please.

[monkeytrousers]

Oh Serah, will it! Baby can grumble for England and you wouldn't stir! Over the counter too..ahem

Did you bring back some salted peanuts for little'un, by the way?

[monkeytrousers]

After the passive birth tradition (though I would draw the line at dia-morphene) - start as you mean to go on!

[fruitful]

I have a friend who lives next-door to a nice pub; i.e. within range of the baby monitor .

Graco baby swings are blissful inventions. Ds has at least one nap a day in his. Calms him down when he's crying - beats pacing up and down with him anyday.

And can I recommend getting a good book on an audio tape, sticking it on in the car and going for a long drive? With sleeping sprog in the back, naturally!

When I only had dd, I used one of those u-shaped bf'ing cushions. Used to get comfy with my feet up and the phone, book, lunch, and tv remote within reach, and feed her to sleep. Then stay put for as long as she'd sleep for. Lovely. She didn't sleep any other way, you see. Then I got my beloved Graco swing.

Oh, and get your dh trained. Both my adorable children are yelling upstairs at the moment, but dh is up there and he'll call if he needs me...

[monkeytrousers]

I dunno Fruitful - when can we go for a drink if we're doing all that driving?!

Not passive enough, in my estimation, sorry!

[monkeytrousers]

But maybe we can all crash down at your baby monitor mates??

[serah]

oooh, liking your thinking on the crashing at the mates Monkeytrou....

I DID actually bring some salted peanuts back for littlun, as I was away working today and thought I'd bring him back a little pressie. However, got bored and hungry stuck in a queue on the A43.... I should have thought on and bought him cashews or pistachios as I much prefer those, and in relation to the latter can flick them at passing cars with open sunroofs.

Oh, and fruitful - have spent the last 7 months looking adoringly (yet passively all at the same time, you understand) at son and saying Dada. Dada. Dada. Guess who he calls out for at 5 in the morning??? [evil emoticon]

Dada..... A word to be encouraged and its relevance in the early hours of the morning to be passed on between mothers... especially passive ones....

[monkeytrousers]

Roll up with your passive parenting tips! Do it for the sisterhood!!

[beansontoast]

found yoooou!
wotcha one and all

ive only got a min,but if you search the archives there is a impressive thread ,that rweads something like 'you know you are not an earth mother when..'
heart warming stuff
hope you are all hanging in there

[serah]

wotcha beans...... I's a just off to take a look........

[serah]

ooooh, now thats funny! I think people must be worried it may be considered neglect to post on this one.

Ah well.

Always remember Beans, mistake your babies cry for attention as a tantrum, and then discover after a half an hour with your fingers passively stuffed in your ears and a shifty glass of wine that, not only have they soiled themselves, but the whole reason for the all day grumpiness in the first place was them cutting their first tooth.

[mogwai]

I soooooo want to be passive. Not had chance yet.

Fraid I'm still in the "jump everytime she stirs" stage of motherhood. You lot can be my mentors

[beansontoast]

im ashamed to say [on this thread]that im no where near as passive as i think i am,or would like to be...im still stuck at worshiping my first born son,by-passing discipline and carrying him everywhere.hes two in sept.
so no mentoring from me,but im in your corner and will be agog if you manage it,plus amused obviously.

i reckon the true and expert passives ,weirdly, have a number of children,each of which has eroded that 'rapid response unit' sense of duty.

rachel cusk has written a brilliant book [dont know if it comes in audio?]re this whole mothering thing.oh what is it called?? well worth a read.ill go look.

seriously though,hope all mams [as in mammy not mammary]and bubs are all doing well x

disclaimer:this post is largely bollocks

[beansontoast]

a lifes workn becoming a mother.Rachel Cusk

i read it preg...''mmm..its gonna be a slog''i thought
read it with a new born..''yeah thats it''
read it once ds was one...'hilarious'

is reading around the subject just geeky?
im such a passive fraudster.

[serah]

Always good to thoroughly research ones subject Beans, but I think on a passive thread it may be considered aggressive behaviour Is it passive to research passive behaviour one wonders?

Anyway, how passive is this... ask your neighbour to look after your baby for one hour at 11 o clock this morning, and she ring from a completely different town and say he's out visiting with her, and they wouldn't be back til tea time and did I mind?

Mind? I'm out of my mind... deliriously happy at an afternoons freedom!!!

YAY!

[mogwai]

Way to go! Where does she live? If it's under four hours away, my engine is running.

Having baulked at the offer of a swinging, rocking, lighting up, making noise chair from a friend, I just went over to her house to collect it. It's covered in jam (she's quite passive about all housework). However, we have stiff ankles from rocking our dear little one in her chair. Need a chair that babysits for us.

Does this count as grade I passive parenting? I feel the need for some sort of grading system....will get onto it when I have a minute

[mogwai]

and thanks for the recommendation, beansy. I'm going to write that down and search it out. I find it so comforting to hear I'm not the only person drowning in shite.........

btw, last night I had a crisis moment. Sitting having a wee, as it happens. It suddenly dawned on me that we have changed our lives irreversibly. It took me 4 weeks to hit that point, just about co-incides with the epic amount of epidural drug wearing off, I think! Anyway, for a fleeting moment, I wished I'd never decided to have a baby. Then I felt like shit for even thinking it, especially give the fact that so many women can't conceive and that we are lucky enough to have a healthy baby.

And today I thought it again.

Is this confined to passive parents, do you reckon....or does everyone go through it?

I'm glad this thread is up and running. We found our people on Passive Birth! Where the hell is Spikey though????? I miss her!

[serah]

hey... Moggers......

I'll send you 2 photos of the inhabitant of my wire framed bouncy chair later, and you'll see why they are SOOOOOO good!

[mogwai]

ah....but does it rock, does it make the tea? DOes it roll you a spliff and pour you a vodka?

In my mother in law's day, you put a sneaky tot of whisky into the bottle. These days I believe Avent teats fit onto Blue WKD bottles a treat!

Get 'em pissed. That is surely passive....

[serah]

I think the majority of people must go through it Mogs. I have had several moments where I regretted having my baby at the start. Never whilst having a wee though - thats just you

It passes. You know where I am x

[serah]

The wire framed bouncy chair doesn't, but DP does! (actually, thats a lie.... its amazing how THAT changed after baby!)

Hmmm.. I always thought it was a shame that they stopped putting voddie in the Gripe Water. Such an opportunity missed!