what would you make of this moms reaction in my efforts to arrange a playdate

[chocaddict]

Ds started at his junior school over a year ago and I have struggled a little to find out who his closest friends are, ones that he would like to invite back on a playdate.
I know that there is one friend in particular that he likes and would like to invite regularly.
The problem however is the reaction off the lads mom every time I have ever asked.
Her reply is always we will see if we can arrange a day, or I have to take my daughter to her dance lesson and pick her up as well, we will see about in the holidays etc.
I get very down about this reaction and am not sure what the problem is.
I have been successful on occasions on arranging one with her but its quite difficult.
I know she gets busy taking the older daughter here and there but don,t know how that affects her ds coming to ours she can pick him at a time to suit she doesn,t live far or I can drop him off at a time to suit.
Would you give up on this woman and her ds.
My mom thinks that maybe she just doesn,t want to get into the whole playdate thing because she doesn,t want to have children at hers as well.
I can honestly say that I don,t expect people to return invites.
Please would you just forget it and move onto someone else.

[tiggergirl]

she does not sound very friendly feel sorry for her son as it all part of growing up i invite others who are more pleasent and still ask her .

[nickytwotimes]

Yep. leave it.

You've given it a good shot.

Some people would rather just avoid the whole business.

It is very decent of you to not expect the favour to be returned, but some people would feel uncomfortable about this - like they were taking advantage of the situation, etc.

ALso some people just aren't very sociable! If dh were the sahp in our household, ds wouldn't have any friends!

DOn't take it personally. FInd another nice soul like yourself to team up with for playdates.

[chocaddict]

Yes I suppose it does make some people feel awkward about feeling that they have to return it.
I find it very disappointing I just want ds to have company as he is an only.
Does nobody feel like me.
I know he has a sister but surely a lad needs a lad to play with sometimes.

[chocaddict]

what does that mean

[chocaddict]

He doesn,t have any friends in the street Riven

[chocaddict]

I think I seem okay Reality, of course others may think otherwise but I can,t think of anything to dislike about me.
I am quite a shy person struggle to know what to talk about at the school gates.

[stealthsquiggle]

Either she doesn't want her DC at your house for some reason, or she is worried about not being able to reciprocate - which I can empathise with. Have you actually said to her that you have no expectation of reciprocal playdates?

[sausagepastie]

Reality why are you being like this, OP has asked a serious question. It's inappropriate.

[chocaddict]

not that I am aware of.
There may be one or two but they are not in ds's year they hardly know each other.
In all honesty you hardly see anyone around outside playing.

[chocaddict]

I have not said that stealth maybe I should.
Dh thinks that she seems a little snobby.

[goldenticket]

Is it possible that it's actually her ds who doesn't want to come? So the mum is (unsuccessfully) trying to save your feelings? That was my first reaction when I read your op.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Me too goldenticket and FWIW, I really did LOL at reality's question.
How is your son with his friend? Do they seem friendly or does his friend tolerate him. I ask because my dd (an only) has alienated a couple of her classmates by being too intense.

[escondida]

I've been blown off loads of the time in the past, OP; I've learnt to let it go! Eventually the boys will swap phone No.s or email and then start arranging their own play dates.

[DecorHate]

Ime lots of boys are not as interested as girls when it comes to having friends round to tea, etc.

I think you have to let this one go - there could be any reason why the mother is not keen. If your ds is bored after school I would get him to join some after-school activity where he can get together with other kids.

[Jamieandhismagictorch]

What goldenticket. It's possible that she (the mum) isn't keen on playdates, or it could be that her son is not keen.

Either he doesn't like playdates in general, or he's not a keen on your DS as your DS is on him. It's sad if it's the latter (I have been there).

I think you just have to let it go.