Am I mad to be thinking about having another baby?

[Rachiesparrow]

My dd is almost 8 weeks old. She is a lovely child, although the first few weeks have been hard - I guess they are for everyone.

I am 36 and my dh is 44. We are thinking of just not using contraceptives and seeing what happens. Part of me feels petrified at the thought of having 2 kids so close together, but part of me thinks it will be good for them and will be good to 'get it over and done with' although that sounds really cold, but we are not getting any younger. I didn't enjoy pregnancy particularly, but love being a mum.

Anyone out there has 2 kids in quick succession? Any thoughts/advice?

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

I think you are barmy. This is simply because I loathed being pregnant and will never ever ever do it again. My sister on the other hand, loved it. She has more than the national average (8) and would have more again. One thing I would advise you to beware of, make sure your children won't be in the same school year. My niece and nephew are. If it feels right to you and there are no medical reasons why not. go for it.

[boundarybabe]

I totally understand the "getting it over with" thing - it doesn't make you cold, it's just that not all of us are 'baby' people. Personally I want a small gap for the same reason. BUT that said, you need to remember that your hormones will still be all over the shop. I went through a few distinct phases during DS's first year (he is 1 next week) - there were about four months of 'never again' followed by a couple of months of intense broodiness - I really, really wanted to be pregnant again - but that passed and I was very glad we hadn't done it! Now we've decided to TTC number 2, and it's only now it feel like an actual decision rather than an uncontrollable urge to have another baby.

But only you can decide what's right for you - there's nothing wrong with having a small gap if that's what you want. If you feel ready, and think you would cope, go for it!

[LittleSilver]

I don't think you are barmy at all. I tried ttc as soon as I could ( but bf, so no af for nine months) Not intended in a rude way, but time isn't hugely on your side so can understand rationale. Good luck!

[ChristianaTheSeventh]

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[spongebrainbigpants]

Rachie, I would wait a little bit longer if I were you - being pg with a small baby is bloody hard work. We had an unplanned 16mth gap and personally I would have preferred about 2 yrs or so.

Also, your body has been through a lot - give it a little time to recover.

[Rachiesparrow]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm not broody at all... This is something I'm thinking very carefully about.

Spongebrain, that's something that does concern me too as I had an emcs and still feel that I'm healing. I'd def get go ahead from doc first.

I guess I'm the only one that can decide. I just need to know what I might be getting into. Erk.

[spongebrainbigpants]

If you had CS would definitely give your body more time to heal. My boys are 20mths and 4mths now and I love them both to bits but it's bloody relentless and hard work every day (and neither of them are difficult children - although both crap sleepers!).

Enjoy the summer with your new baby would be my advice .

[TeflonMum]

Personally I would give it another 6 months minimum (a year preferably) and let your body heal properly. Do you really want to be recovering from another section and looking after a newborn (who may not be an angel, may not sleep well etc) with another baby? I'm sure it would bring you some joyful moments, but on the whole, it sounds terribly gruelling and I can imagine the 'conveniently getting it out of the way' years would actually pass in a blur of exhaustion and stress! People do it, yes. People even enjoy it. But nobody on God's earth will tell you it isn't ridiculously hard...

If you could bear to wait another year, I would. You aren't ancient and it will make it a whole lot easier once your older one is walking, talking, potty trained and possibly even going to nursery for a few hours.

[maxpower]

I was told it takes 6 months to fully recover from a CS and my personal experience of an em-cs bears that out. I loved being pregnant by there was no way in the world I'd have put myslef through another pregnancy so soon after CS.

[Mog4]

There is fourteen months between my eldest two and to call it an endurance test would be an understatement. Getting ready to go out was the worst no sooner had you got to the front door to leave, a nappy needed to be changed again. If one got sick so did the other. A bout of chicken pox a week apart meant i didn't leave the house for a fortnight. That said am reaping the benefits now as they are very close and have similar interests. If you only plan on two get it over and done with! Anyway can't have been that bad ended up with four children .

[Reallytired]

I would wait six months and if you are exclusively breastfeeding you would find that your body is infertile until you introduce solids at 6 months. You would end up with a manageable, but small age gap of about 15 months.

Bare in mind that looking after a mobile baby who is heavily teething is a different experience to a newborn. Do you really want to be chasing after a manic crawling baby while heavily pregnant.

I suppose a lot depends on how much support you have near by. If you have family who can help you with the older child then I am sure you will manage.

[Megletwantsittobesummer]

Leave it at least 6 months then as long as you've healed up well then go for it. You will still be quite mad, but you will survive!

I had 13 months between my em cs and getting pregnant again, there's a 22mo gap between ds and dd. But I had healed well and my gp said it would be ok.

[simplesarah]

If you're not broody, there the real chance that you may resent another pregnancy and the exhaustion of that on top of looking after such a little one. My son was 15 months old and because it took us 3 1/ years to get pregnant, we didn't use any contraception after, by that time i still hadn't got pregnant and decided to TTC actively. I fell pregnant straight away and i was sssoooooo not ready! I think i've only just recovered and they're nearly 6 and 4!

[PacificDogwood]

Rachie, you are not mad at all !

It took us 5 years to make DS1 (I was almost 37), letting nature run its course resulted in DS2 12 months later (he was 2 months premature).

A small age gap is hard work, but apart from getting the baby stage done and over with, they also become good playmates (and when fighting are evenly matched ).

I'd second what other have said, try not to conceive within the first 6 month as this makes premature delivery of the next baby more likely - there is research to back this up, BMJ in the last year or 2 (please do not ask me to find it this time of the evening, sorry).

Best of luck .

[dixiechick1975]

I'd look into risks of getting pregnant so soon after cs, maybe speak to GP? Also general risks of babies close together eg I believe there is an increased risk of premature birth.

[dixiechick1975]

x posted with pacific - who put it so much better

[tostaky]

I had an emcs and i wanted another child quickly for the same reasons as you. i took the pill for the first 6 months though and then stopped and fell pregnant (on purpose). I am now 34 weeks and I am shattered. It is very hard on your body to be pregnant and looking after a little one but i still think i made the right decision.
We initially wanted three DCs in a row but im saying "no way" now!!! If we ever do a third one i'll wait at least for a year before getting PG again!
Good luck to you

[lovechoc]

wow, I was too exhausted and put off having another so soon, but each to their own! lol

good luck on whatever you decide.