Ds 2.5 yrs - "I don't like you mummy, I like daddy"

[Patsy99]

My 2.5 year old ds has started saying he doesn't like me, he likes daddy. I've said he can like both of us and he says, no,that he doesn't like me. Has anyone else had this experience and what does it mean? I'm not sure if he's testing boundaries, trying to be more independent from me, trying to get a reaction or he actually just doesn't like me at the moment. If I'm honest I'm a bit hurt by it but I just tell him it's not a very nice thing to say and that I love him.

[ConnorTraceptive]

He just testing you. At this age ds1 used to say "can you go away" whenever DH entered a room. DH used to feel really hurt by it but it's a phase that passes

[BurningBuntingFlipFlop]

I wouldn't worry. My ds, 2.5 also says he doesn't love mummy or daddy or baby sister. Just Nana, and he wants to with her! He only sees her a couple of times a month, stays overnight, but she has a big impact on him it seems (maybe something to do with the copious amounts of chocolate he gets when he's there, and never an tellings off!)

I was also pretty hurt but i think it's just a two year old thing.

[ljhooray]

Please try not to worry Patsy99 - I'm sure it's testing boundaries, reactions etc. Seen lots of children go through this, if anything (and this is very amateur psy here) I think it's easier for children to test this kind of thing with those they love as they know there are no consequences.

I think your response is great and I would walk away and leave him to it.

[RoseWater]

Just a phase - upsetting though I know - we had the same thing. It will pass

[Patsy99]

Many thanks for the advice, it's calmed me down. If I get desperate I suppose I can always try the copious amount of chocolate method of ingratiating myself ..

[lovechoc]

DS says this to me alot aswell - he's nearly 3yo. I wouldn't take it personally, they don't know any better at this age.

He is all for his daddy, I always come second best!lol

[BelleDameSansMerci]

DD says this all the time. Her DD is absent and she sees him once or twice a week. It does hurt but I just say "well, I love you". Sometimes, when things are particularly tough, I do say "who looks after you, Sweetheart?" and she says "Mummy". Then she pauses and says "me love you mummy". I don't like myself for this but there are days when I can't take the "daddy is wonderful" routine.

[EssenceOfJack]

DD says this all the time about DH, in fact the last few days we have all been in the same room and at bedtime she announced
'I am sleeping in the big bed with daddy tonight, you can sleep on my bed on the floor or on teh sofa but I don't want you in my bed because I only love Daddy'
I just ignore it tbh, if she thinks her daddy is the dogs bollocks who am I to argue
Seriously though, I am here all the time and there is no novelty, DH however is at work so when he is here it is special.
When she is injured or upset she always wants me though!

[Bumperlicious]

I don't get as bad as 'I don't like you' but I am often ousted in favour of DH. When I came in from work today I was asked to go into the kitchen as 'we are too busy'. It is hurtful and tends to turn me into a petulant child but I know it won't always be like this.

[mintyfresh]

I get 'I don't want you Mummy' all the time from my 2.8 year old dd! I say 'so who do you want to live with then?' and she says 'you Mummy'! It's a little game for her at the moment - they are just asserting themselves.

[Horton]

Just to add a message from the other perspective, I can see it must be hard, but my DD at 3.5 often tells me she doesn't like Daddy, won't go anywhere with him unless I am at work and therefore totally unavailable, won't talk to him, pushes him out of the room, cries if he tries to get her dressed, shouts 'I don't like you, I only want Mummy' etc etc (obv I don't let this behaviour go unchallenged). He is a really really nice daddy, honestly. He loves her to bits and tries his very best to be kind to her and do things as she likes.

I sometimes think I would literally kill someone if DD would just go out with him for half an hour on a Sunday morning so I could have a cup of coffee in peace.

And I am the stern parent whereas he is the 'treats and fun stuff' one.

Children are barmy. Don't beat yourself up about it, honestly.

[BelleDameSansMerci]

Horton that's going to be my new mantra - children are barmy. It explains everything

[Horton]

Someone I like a lot once said to me when I was pregnant 'just remember that they all act like they're mad, drunk or both all the time and you'll be fine'.

She was right.

I've always remembered that when my rational mind wants to go 'what the lemon-scented FUCK are you on about?' to a child who would clearly have no idea what I was on about.

[WingedVictory]

I love Daddy, too. Especially given that he just went up to see to DS's plaints.

Aaaah.