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How involved do you get in playground squabbles?

(16 Posts)
rickman Tue 12-Jul-05 15:55:50

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rickman Tue 12-Jul-05 16:51:20

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kid Tue 12-Jul-05 16:54:24

I work at DD's school so I always get involved.
I have found DD to be really moany today so she has been told of a few times by me.

What sort of things do you mean? If I'm not at work, I tend to stand back and see how DD handles the situation. If she needs help, I'll step in.

Not sure how I would feel another parent telling my child off though TBH.

spidermama Tue 12-Jul-05 16:56:24

On the whole I think things are best left, unless your dd has asked for your imput. Even then, go in with care. We had an awful situation which seemed to escalate and I found myself wishing I hadn't got involved.

soapbox Tue 12-Jul-05 17:00:32

Provide support to DD and mentor her on tactics if she asks for it

If things going badly awry, get other friends over for tea a few times to help cement her with a group of girls again.

If she is being mean to others, always get her to think about how she would feel if it were her etc etc.

rickman Tue 12-Jul-05 17:00:40

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QueenEagle Tue 12-Jul-05 17:05:56

Erm, can we have that in English rickman? lol

I am friends with a woman but our two ds's don't really see eye to eye. They will play together when we visit each other but don't tend to when they are at school. Generally I would say not to get involved with your kids' when they fall out with their friends. They will work it out for themselves. I only step in if things get nasty.

I don't think you should force your dd to play with someone if they really don't want to. And I feel it would be unfair of your friend to expect it too. Can you have a word with your friend? Would she be approachable in this way?

trefusis Tue 12-Jul-05 17:09:24

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kid Tue 12-Jul-05 17:10:36

I followed it but I still don't know the answer!

It sounds like your friend is being immature, you can't tell your DD who she should and shouldn't play with.

How long as this problem been going on?

Cam Tue 12-Jul-05 17:27:25

Parents should definitely not get involved as it usually escalates to become a problem between the parents. Its best for the parent to speak to the class teacher if there is an issue.

Let me guess how old the girls are? Year 2 (poss Year 3?)

rickman Tue 12-Jul-05 17:31:07

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rickman Tue 12-Jul-05 17:31:54

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MarsLady Tue 12-Jul-05 17:32:19

kids or adults?

I don't get involved with either!

Cam Tue 12-Jul-05 17:38:39

Ah well, I can trot out that hoary old saying then, "It's their age....."

Unfortunately most girls have to go through this phase, it genuinely is all part of the learning how to get on with each other process.

It is also genuinely best if the mums involved can just smile ruefully, say "girls, who'd have 'em?" and let them sort it out (unless there is real bullying or cruelty).

They will have different best friends every day although some will have more domineering personalities than others and try to control others (so, a mini-version of adult life).

Not much help at the time you're going through it except to keep boosting your own child's confidence.

rickman Tue 12-Jul-05 18:03:01

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MarsLady Tue 12-Jul-05 18:20:17

Having now read this thread properly....

I tend not to get involved in the children's friendships (even if I don't like the friends). I find that they tend to sort themselves out in the end. They change the friends that they play with so often. Also, I think that they only rebel against us if we try to force their friendship choices.

Maybe she lied cos she thought you might be upset that your friend is your friend but that things aren't quite so rosy with her and the dd?


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