Fussy eating - advice in the Times

[ladyandthechocolate]

I read an article today about fussy eating in the Times here

Dr Byron advocates using a small bribe to encourage the tasting of a certain food until the child becomes more accepting of said food.
My DD is 18 months and is generally a good eater but there are certain things she just won't entertain putting in her mouth. We've never cajoled or forced her to eat any one thing; we've always taken a fairly laid back approach which hasn't worked particularly well.
So I tried it today and it certainly worked - she ate a whole plum and some grapes, each followed by a solitary chocolate button and by the end was asking for more (plum and grape).
Has anyone else tried this? I just don't want to swap her bad habits for an equally bad habit!

[rookiemater]

I read that and was a bit surprised. Dr Tanya Byron is my idol, but I had this vision of DS sitting there sobbing his heart out over a stalk of broccoli. But hey what do I know as the mother of a non vegetable eating almost 4 year old.

[Washersaurus]

I'm with you rookiemater; I am surprised at this approach being recommended by Dr TB but am also in no position to question it as have BLW and have 2 boys (4 and 2yo) who are slightly vegetable adverse. I'm assuming as it is a temporary phase and that if I keep serving stuff up they will eventually eat it .

I'm not a big fan of rewarding anything with chocolate buttons (except myself for marvellous parenting efforts of course)

[kitkatsforbreakfast]

Seems a rather strange, and difficult to maintain, approach. Can't see my ds2 and dd being that impressed if ds1 (the fussy eater in this household) gets chocolate buttons for eating a morsel of broc when they have to eat loads without anything.

[rookiemater]

I'm guessing that Dr Tanya hasn't been blessed with fussy off spring. We got ourselves in enough trouble with chocolate buttons over potty training, plus is it not reinforcing the broccoli= horrid food so horrid in fact that eating one stalk of it = reward= nice chocolate button.

It's certainly not an approach I have seen recommended before and having read The House of Tiny Tearaways it seems to be a departure from her normal stance as it is very much the I AM PARENT SO I WILL DICTATE WHAT YOU EAT mode and setting yourself in direct conflict with a stubborn toddler doesn't seem like the best idea.

[JimmyMcNulty]

Dh says his huge aversion to bananas was caused by being forced to eat banana custard at school (they had to eat everything, including pudding!). He finds them so off-putting now that he can't even peel one for our dc. So I am sceptical about the wisdom of this. Admittedly dh was not offered chocolate buttons though.

Obviously parents have to be in control of what their children eat to a large extent, but ultimately if they have strong feelings about a food, how far do you take it? And at what age do you stop trying?

We have been through eating battles with ds1 (3.6) and did the whole 'if you eat this (unwanted food) you will get that (favourite food)' business a while back. It failed for us, because ds1 just refused point blank to eat broccoli, even when ice cream was offered afterwards, which he would eat by the bucketload if allowed. So what do you do if there's nothing you can offer that will entice them to eat it? Get cross? Try bigger rewards - toys/staying up all night/foreign holidays ?

Ds1 is extremely strong-willed, but I can't believe he's the only 3-year-old for whom knowing that a grown-up wants him to eat broccoli so badly that they are willing to reward him for it, is just more reason to use it as a way of testing boundaries.

I still offer broccoli from time to time, as I always have, but make no comment as to whether it's eaten or not. Luckily he does eat some other veg, so I don't feel too much over a barrel on this one.

[kitkatsforbreakfast]

It's really tough though. My ds1 is 7 1/2 and can be really really fussy. He's also very skinny so I really want himn to eat enough. But with 2 other dc (5, and 3) I can't make separate rules for him. And I really want him to join in family meals. And I refuse to serve up the miniscule amount of boring food that he will tolerate. Also with him it's not just vegetables he's funny about. It's all kinds of things.

We have friends round tomorrow for 'afternoon tea'. I have made (or will make in the morning) banana cake, fruit cake, lemon cake, lemon curd tarts, jam tarts, coffee and walnut cake, ham sandwiches, cheese sandwiches and marmite sandwiches.

Of all that, he will have a couple of ham sandwiches and maybe 1 jam tart if I've got the pastry right. It's a blooming nuisance.

[Washersaurus]

I'm going to roll out the ol' "he'll eat if he's hungry" line now kitkats; if he's eating ham sandwiches I wouldn't worry at all

[differentnameforthis]

TB uses that method in House of tiny tearaways,...where she advised using STICKERS not food as a reward.

I believe she never advocates using food as a reward.

[mrspoppins]

She does, and I agree with her, use the bribe of a food that is already liked and eaten like bread or yoghurt...not chocolate!!! so one mouthful of new followed by one of old...Didn't read article but wonder if it was misunderstood?

[edam]

I was an extremely fussy eater as a child and there is NO WAY I could have forced any of the many and various foods that revolted me down my gullet, even if I had been offered chocolate. I refused certain things because the very idea made me heave, let alone the texture/taste/feel. Yuck, am having flashbacks to horrid school custard with skin on right now!

[edam]

(Quite like custard now, though, although still wouldn't go near skin.)

[differentnameforthis]

mrspoppins, I stand corrected. I read the article again & she does say chocolate/crisps etc...

I am sure that she has said never to use food (as in choc etc) before...

[mrspoppins]

on her programmes, she does use other foods the children like but I'm not sure I'd ever go down the sweets route unless that truly was all that they ate then I suppose, any kind of additional nutrition would be worth it.

[rookiemater]

Yes I empathise with those who hated school dinners. I remember someone crying because they hated their food so much but still being forced to eat it and I seem to have a recollection of someone actually making themselves sick and still being forced to eat the rest of it, but I can scarcely believe that to be true so perhaps I just thought it happened.

I am perhaps too soft on DS as I have vivid recollections of eating gruesome morsels, I'm with you on the custard edam, had it every blinkin day on Friday they put cocoa powder into it to make it chocolate allegedly. DS loves custard though.

[edam]

Oh yeah, I remember 'chocolate' custard. Cocoa powder alone does not turn something into chocolate!

I wasn't made to eat it all up by force but horrid dinner lady did make me stay behind and miss playtime 'until I'd finished it'. When I didn't, she made me go and apologise to the cook. Who clearly felt very sorry for me, bless her.

Worst thing was, the horrid dinner lady was called Mrs so everyone teased me that she was my mother. Even though I pointed out that would involve the same surname, not first name.

I blame my mother - she's an excellent cook so I just wasn't used to horrid slops of the school dinner type. Although I did pick the kidney out of her steak and kidney pie.

[Eglu]

They have recently been repeating tiny tearaways on Watch, and I've seen Dr TB doing this with children with severe eating problems and it did work.