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What does it feel like when the first one goes to school?

(37 Posts)
PrettyCandles Mon 11-Jul-05 21:16:35

Ds starts Reception in September. He is so very ready intellectually and emotionally to go to school, and I don't have any problem with that, I love to see him growing in all ways, but I'm not ready to give him up for most of the day, for most of the week.

I'm a full-time mum precisely so that I can dedicate my time for the children. For the last 6m or so since dd joined ds at part-time nursery we have arranged the week so that ds gets one morning a week when he doesn't have to share me with anyone else. And our relationship has absolutely flourished with this dedicated time. I'm just not ready to give that up .

helsy Mon 11-Jul-05 21:23:02

It is very hard, but I guess you'll just have a different relationship. It needn't be any less close. He'll be home at 3.15, you'll have weekends (I wake up extra early on a saturday morning to have time alone with dd1). The time you have becomes more precious.
If he's ready to go, it's time to let him really .

QZebra Mon 11-Jul-05 21:25:04

awwwww.... PC.
I do feel like the school has stolen DS1 away from me. I am going to go in & help out (hopefully) in his Y-1 class. Could you do the same while your DD is in nursery?

SoupDragon Mon 11-Jul-05 21:25:27

Thing is, he'll love it. He'll flourish and grow and change in ways you'd not imagined. You'll see flashes of what he will be.

MrsGordonRamsay Mon 11-Jul-05 21:27:04

Worse than that, what do you do when your one and only9and you can 't have anymore) is starting school in September and they went into their induction day without a backward glance .

Bounded up to his teacher who he knows from church, said Hello Mrs X and walked off,,,

astonished Mon 11-Jul-05 21:31:03

I remember feeling just like you last year when my twins started school. Even the opn evenings made me feel uneasy, despite their readiness i just wasn't ready. Its suprising how quick once they started I settled into it all, so did they I must add!!!!! My DS1 is starting school in september and in the space of a year I feel incredibly different, i went to the same open evening sat through the same 'welcome' speech and i just felt completely at ease. I loved my kids being at home but school brings so much else into your lives andf actually it ios quite nice having a bit of time (well alomost) to myself.

KBear Mon 11-Jul-05 21:31:12

I knew DD was ready for school but I knew i would miss her and I did and still do. I love the holidays when we can just be together and do stuff and enjoy each other's company, along with DS who is 3. BUT I have seen her grow from a little pre-schooler hanging on my every word into a confident 6.5 year old who has made really good friendships, is showing good qualities such as hunour, kindness and sensible behaviour and I am proud of all that she is.

It's so hard to hand them over to someone else but after a few weeks you will learn to share them, if that makes sense, and reap the benefits.

Was that too deep? Feeling a bit deep tonight - ignore me!

FrumpyGrumpy Mon 11-Jul-05 21:38:07

Prettycandles Hi, I trailed off on my thread you were kind enough to chat on but it wasn't intentional. I have DD starting school too, full time in August. She'll go 8.45-2.50pm from her first day and I'm hating it too. I'm not ready. (I had twins last summer and I feel like my time with her was stolen away then and it has felt raw ever since).

Anyway, I try to see it that I loved school (after a hard settling in period) and loved the Friday feeling when the bell went and my mum took me to the libray so we could choose books for the weekend. I also loved the fact that she let me stay up late on a Friday night and have toast and milky coffee sometimes. It felt grown up and it needed the routine of a school week to make it really special. It definitely wasn't the amount of time we had that made me feel like I had a lovely mum.

MaloryTowers Mon 11-Jul-05 21:39:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrumpyGrumpy Mon 11-Jul-05 21:41:56

MaloryTowers was one of the books I used to get from the library! Are you a fan?!

MaloryTowers Mon 11-Jul-05 21:49:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrumpyGrumpy Mon 11-Jul-05 22:00:03

My three are all too young yet but I can't wait. Didn't do the others but Malory Towers was edgy. Won't hijack this thread any longer on this but please remind me of the main girls name, its driving me nuts!

Blossomhill Mon 11-Jul-05 22:04:28

Well I was fineish with ds (now 7) but when dd went last year it was awful. I think as I still had dd at home when ds went the wrench wasn't so hard iyswim
Have to say (very guiltily) I do enjoy the time to myself but really look forward to picking up time too

toothyboy Mon 11-Jul-05 22:07:15

Darrell Rivers!

Twiglett Mon 11-Jul-05 22:08:22

I can't wait

Puff Mon 11-Jul-05 22:09:03

Glad you've said that twiglett, me too!

FrumpyGrumpy Mon 11-Jul-05 23:11:43

Darrell Rivers, yahoo!

emkana Tue 12-Jul-05 20:38:14

Oh please stop, you're going to make me cry in a minute .

I feel exactly the same about my dd1. I'm just holding on to the thought how wonderful it will be to see her experience and learn so many new things. And she can't wait to go...
and in the immortal words of Mr. Gordon Sumner

"If you love somebody... set them free!"

Aimsmum Tue 12-Jul-05 20:59:23

Message withdrawn

MrsGordonRamsay Tue 12-Jul-05 21:05:56


At which point I filled up, it really is so hard.

However, I qualified for a bonus in work today, and turned it down, said I would rather you turned a blind eye to me taking DS to school and picking him up for the first 2-3 weeks short days/ spring baby instead of the one week I was having to settle for. That way I only have to have him picked up until December, then I will be going to school hours and will be dropping off and picking up..............Yay

Only downside, I will get paid accordingly

Aimsmum Tue 12-Jul-05 21:19:22

Message withdrawn

MrsGordonRamsay Tue 12-Jul-05 21:21:20

No re uniform, I know I have to,but...........heel dragging emotion

MrsGordonRamsay Tue 12-Jul-05 21:22:43

just a month away !!!

Rest of July and all of August and first week in September, come on woman, get a grip

Just saying it before Coddy does......

Aimsmum Tue 12-Jul-05 21:24:06

Message withdrawn

marthamoo Tue 12-Jul-05 21:24:06

It's horrid...but it gets easier over time. I was fine the first couple of days ds1 was at school then on the third day I came home to a completely empty house (was pregnant with ds2) and sat at the table and sobbed. Realised that he spent 6.5 hours a day at school (we leave at 8.30), so if he got up at 7.30 and went to bed at 7.30 I had him for an hour less than school . I got over it though and now - he is at the end of Year 3 - I am dreading the summer holidays and wondering what I am going to do with both of them to amuse all day!

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