Diff sex siblings sharing bedroom

[zozzle]

A month ago we put my 2.5 yo DD in same bedroom as DS (who is nearly 6). We have enough bedrooms for them to have a bedroom each but want to encourage bonding / good sibling friendship. Seems to be going well so far - DD in cot (will put her in a bed when she's 3) and obviously DS is in a bed.

I really enjoyed sharing with my bro when I was young and I think helped us with bonding - but it was the other way round with us - I was 3 years older than him (I am female as you have probably sussed!).

How long do you think they should share for age wise, bearing in mind that the oldest sibling is male (not sure if this makes a difference or not)?

Would appreciate your opinions...

[LauraIngallsWilder]

To be honest I wouldnt bother

My kids shared at a previous house, it was a pain but they did get on well
They now have a room each - which they love and much prefer - and they get on just as well

If you have the space I would just let them have a room each, unless THEY choose to share

Probably not what you were expecting to read though sorry - For my kids sharing was a hassle, a room each is easier

end of debate for me!

[BitOfFun]

I had to share with my little brother until I was 15. It was a nightmare. Liked it when we were little though.

[deepdarkwood]

ds (nearly 6) & dd (3.5) share - have done for about a 18 mths. We have another bedroom, but it's my dumping ground office, so it's useful for us if they share. They play very well together anyway - and we managed to come up with a room theme they both liked

I reckon we'll play it by ear, & split them once they start voicing a desire for their own space - and probably by the time ds is 8 or so

I'm not sure if it makes any difference what sex the eldest is, tbh...

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Isn't there some sort of rule that boys and girls aren't allowed to share a room after the age of X? Or did I dream it.

[seeker]

If you have enough rooms I would give them a bedroom each. Nothing encourages sibling bonding and friendships better than being able to escape from each other, IMHO!

And being able to leave your lego spaceship where you left it without coming back to find that your little sister has flattened it is a big deal too.

My dd has a sort of spare bed in her room and dd quite often spend the night in with her. They love it - like a mini sleepover. But your own space, being able to shut the door and be on your own is so important if it can be achieved.

This is nothing to do with gender - it's to do with personal space.

Ahat does your ds thing about sharing his room?

[PavlovtheCat]

kreecher i think that 'rule' applies to offering council houses to those with different sex children. I think they have to offer a bigger property when the oldest of different sex reaches a certain age. However, i guess there are limits even then as i know a family with 6 children in a 3 bed council property and boys and girls share (more boys than girls).

I personally do not think it much of a problem, regarding gender, more a children sharing general issue, and planning on doing it myself when our little son is older (3years between him and his sister). I shall watch this thread with interest and see if i change my mind after a few more posts!

[scanty]

I see no problem if they like sharing. My 2 boys share (I know, same sex) as they don't want to be alone. I actually think it's more natural to share rather than every child having their own room. Kids having their own room is a thing of the present as years ago it just wasn't possible for most folks. Where I grew up the family next door had seven kids ranging from about 4yrs up to about late teens all sharing the one room. My husband shared a room with his sister into their twenties as did many of our friends. I'm not 90yrs and not from Calcutta as well LOL! Also, my brother was 17yrs, sister 15yrs and me 10yrs and we shared - used to have some great back scratching sessions in the big double bed. Once older, couldn't wait to get my own room though - bliss!! Really depends on what the kids are happy with.

[zozzle]

Thanks guys - some really useful comments. Keep 'em coming...

[MumNWLondon]

My DD is 6, and my DS is nearly 4 and they have their own rooms, they really want to share... but neither room is really big enough for them both.

They are best friends, and play together really nicely, and generally love each other to bits, can't see that sharing a room would make them closer, and anyway I think its nice for DD that she has her own space. I sometimes let DS have a sleepover in DD's room at weekends (he asks every night), but do find that they sleep better in own rooms.

If your kids are happy then fine - if you have space give the older one the option of separate rooms, he'll tell you when he needs the space.