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What age should you start telling them abotu the birds and the bees?

(14 Posts)
Blossomhill Tue 05-Jul-05 19:43:52

Ds is 7 and a half and has no idea about sex. However there are friends of his at school that do, mainly as they have older siblings.
Now I have eventually told ds where babies are born from (after telling him for so long it was my belly button) and I have to say he was very shocked (poor love)
Just not sure when he will be ready. Maybe a book may be a good idea?
Personally I do feel he is still too young to understand/take it on board. Just wondered really. TIA

Tortington Tue 05-Jul-05 20:20:53

its just always been there if they asked - always encouraged them to ask about stuff. i did this becuase my mum was a complete prude and she didn't talk to me and she got me books from the library to do with periods when i had started and left me to it - this is after i thought i was going to die when i woke up with blood everywhere.

so i never every wanted that "we dont do sex we are british" attitude.

its hard to shelter them from it - its everywhere.

when i told mine about things i always followed up with " but dont go telling your friends about it becuase its a personal thing for everyone and some mums and dads dont want their kids to know this stuff until they are bigger"

as i said on another thread i explained what the vlue light on an mtv programme was ( to look for sperm deposits on bedsheets) when they asked. best to make it like asking about anything

spidermama Tue 05-Jul-05 20:34:03

Mine forced the info out of me when I was pregnant. Began with the 'well mummy has an egg and daddy give seed' etc but it wasn't enough. Finally told them and they said 'yuk', tittered a bit, and haven't mentioned it since.

I remember asking my mum and being told (I was about 4/5) I also said 'yuk' and I remember my mum laughing and saying, 'it's supposed to be nice'.

Babette Cole's book 'Mummy Laid an Egg' is good.

spidermama Tue 05-Jul-05 20:34:38

Have you ever seen the film Carrie, custardo?

nutcracker Tue 05-Jul-05 20:36:56

I am worrying about this at the mo too BH. Dd1 is 7 and so far I don't think has ever asked any questions but I did find she had written 'he is sexy' above a picce of some boyband member the other day which shocked me tbh.

Dd2 is 5 and asks lots of akward questions and i never know what to say.

Think i need to get some books, but I'm not sure how much I should be telling them tbh.

pleaserewind Tue 05-Jul-05 20:38:25

my ds is 9 and never asked any questions. don't know if it's embarassment because he already has a good idea from friends etc or he's just not thought about it.
i actually wish he would ask.

marne Tue 05-Jul-05 20:40:30

i think if they are old enough to ask then they are old enough to know, OMG i sound like my mother.

Tortington Tue 05-Jul-05 20:59:55

yes i saw the film - if i had the same phyco effects that would be useful

tamum Tue 05-Jul-05 21:03:34

I don't know if it's the same in England but up here children get pretty explicit sex education from the age of 9 or 10. I certainly wouldn't have wanted it all to be a surprise at that point!

Skribble Tue 05-Jul-05 21:06:16

My DS is 8 and we have discussed the basics after he has asked questions he told me a few words that he was hearing in the playground so I explained them. DD5 doesn't know as much but I will always answer her questions.

They have always had books about bodies which have sections on reproduction. DD loves bidy books I'm convinced she will be a doctor.

When answering questions its easy to get carried away when all they need is a simple answer. Mind you DS wanted to know everything so friends couldn't make a fool of him, including periods.

nooka Tue 05-Jul-05 21:15:52

ditto spidermummy. I think it's easier to do it when they are littler to be honest. ds loves information books and we've read a few "know your body"/"human body" books - chosen by him. My two are 6 and 4, and said "yuk" too! They know about periods too. I had to have my big sister tell me - my mother wanted to hide it all from my father - with three daughters . She still gets annoyed if we leave packets of towel/tampex in the bathroom when we visit!

tex111 Tue 05-Jul-05 21:28:22

My Mom told me all about the birds and bees when I was four and found and unwrapped one of her used sanitary pads. I was in tears and thought she was dying because of all the blood! Mom's approach was to be very direct and explicit, using all the correct terminology, etc which I now think was a bit much for a four year old though it's true I was never shocked or disgusted later in life.

With DS (almost 3) I've tried to start gently as Spidermama said. I'm expecting my second baby so we've had the 'how did baby get in there', 'how does baby get out' questions and have responded with 'Mommy has an egg and Daddy has a special seed' and 'baby comes out of a special place near Mommy's bottom' but without any real detail. He's been satisfied with that so far. I'm hoping to gradually build on it over the years so it won't be a huge shock to him one day.

I do think it's important to discuss sex with children because the information they get from their friends is often such rubbish and can frighten them much more than the truth. I think you just have to find an approach that you're comfortable with and you know your child best. You know what they can understand and when they can take it on board. Good luck!

ks Tue 05-Jul-05 21:32:47

Message withdrawn

nooka Tue 05-Jul-05 21:59:41

oops - spidermama (not mummy). dd was most interested in mummy's blood.. ds was quite relieved that he wasn't going to have periods when he grows up. They both think public hair is very funny (but not for them!). As I've had two c-sections the scar has always been a source of conversation. I have never sat down and told them, just responded when they've asked. I think a little bit at a time is the best way.

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