OT but friend in need..

[JammyK]

I know this isn't really the place for this but I'm not getting any replies in the 'Relationships' forum and I really need some advice. Its a long one, sorry.

One of my closest friends is not in a very good situation and I'm not sure what to do to help. Its a bit of a sensitive subject.

Basically, until October she was quite happy in her relationship. She has 2 young daughters with her (now ex) partner and he has 2 other children from a previous relationship. Anyway, she got a phonecall in October from the Police telling her that her boyfriend had been arrested. His 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship had put in a complaint about him sexually abusing her. He's going to trial in the middle of May about that. Obviously she kicked him out and its been really distressing for all involved. Then a few weeks after that she found out she was pregnant with his baby, their 3rd child together!! Since then he's been slowly worming his way back in with her. Social services said that he could have supervised access to her 2 daughters (who are 4 and 2) and she's taken this to mean that he can see them as much as she allows him to as long as she's there. They've been getting closer and closer and I was horrified to find out that he not only took her and the girls to a SAntas grotto in December but he also attended their pre-school nativity play. I think it's wrong considering he is on the sex offenders register and is awaiting trial for such an offence. What do you all think? I've been trying to support my friend as best I could but I couldn't take it anymore and I told her exactly what I thought about him and that I think it's wrong he's spending so much time around her girls. She hasn't spoken to me since. I think I went a bit over the top. I've been worried about going to her house with my children in case he's there. Luckily he never has been when I've visited. I don't want him around my children or anyone elses. I've been tempted to tell the pre-school where her children attend cos I don't think it's right. But that wouldn't make me a very good friend would it? I guess I'm just wanting to know other opinions on this subject and suggestions of what to do??? Thanks all.

[Tee2072]

About all you can do is what you're doing. Keep your own children away from him.

I would only tell the pre-school if my children attended there also.

Also, he is innocent until proven guilty, right? And he hasn't been to trial yet? Then why is he on the sex offenders registry? Are you sure he's on it?

[JammyK]

Thanks for your reply. He has admitted that it went so far but is denying that they had full intercourse which is why its going to trial. My friend told me that his name will be on the register so I'm not sure if it is now or will be once he's convicted.

[Wolliw]

If he's convicted then he is likely to have a considerable custodial sentence, so await the trial and bite your tongue. Your friend may really need you afterwards.