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Help my daughter is losing her friends. Why?

4 replies

totallymummy · 08/01/2010 10:00

My 8yr old came home in tears for first time on Tues because she says she has no friends! We have been off with the snow since then. She is quite sociable and has not had a problem before. She has had a 'best friend' for about 2 years who although is very different to her was always by her side. This BF has now joined another group of girls and my daughter says she hasn't played with her for about 6 weeks(!) and she has been keeping it to herself. I know girls can start to get tricky with their friendships at this age and obviously we have had minor upsets before but my daughter is fairly robust and has not been upset like this before. Recently they have been setting the children for maths and english etc and is is becoming apparent that DD is very bright. DD also has amazing imagination and develops games which can be hard to follow! There are only 10 girls in her class of 30 so the choice of girls to play with fairly limited and there have been fixed groups for years. I have tried to reassure her that things will change again and not to take it personally and to try and tough it out....any other advice or thoughts most welcome!

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LIZS · 08/01/2010 10:17

There was thread in Gifted and Talented before Christmas - if not soley relevant to G and T - about this very issue in 8 yr old girls . dd is similarly on the fringe.

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totallymummy · 08/01/2010 10:21

Thank you, I will look for it. It is so hard to see your child upset and to know (in the moment) how to be helpful!

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Baileysismyfriend · 08/01/2010 10:22

I feel for you, its horrible when these things happen, my DD is 11 and this has happened to her before.

It does tend to sort itself out, children can be quite cliquey sometimes but then it all changes again so Im sure your daughter will be included again soon.

A couple of options are to see if she can play with some girls from another class for a bit, or invite some of her 'old' friends round for tea one evening or take them all swimming so they get friendly again.

It will all work itself out one way or another, in the meantime make sure your DD knows this is normal and happens throughout life and to everyone at some point.

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totallymummy · 08/01/2010 10:31

Yes, I have already suggested a we invite BF for tea and I think that might help a bit. However DD says that this has been going on since before her birthday when BF actually came for sleepover but DD says she went straight back to other girls next day.

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