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Parenting

DD is spoilt, my fault how do I rectify things????????

15 replies

luckylady · 30/06/2005 10:30

I know this is my own fault and I really need to know how to rectify this situation, as she is becoming worse.
Don't get me wrong she is well mannered, really good at school an dnor more cheeky than anyother 8 year old etc its just that she has no respect for her things etc. For example- last year we bought her a protable dvd player for when we go on long journeys and for when we are staying over somewhere so that she can watch her own dvds in bed or were ever. We collected our new car last week and we had a full DVD system fitted into the car.. When we asked her were her portable one was she replied "I don't know, but its OK I don't need it anymore now as we have the fitted ones in the car?"

I really thought that I had bought her up to understand the value of things and how lucky she is to have the things she has. As even when I was a single parent with her she always had and has what she needed and more.

She was also given a gold ring for xmas by her real dads sister and I found it this morning all distoreted where she has left it lying around etc.. I go into her room and even thoughshe has put things away she doesn't really know where she has put things and is not disturbed in the least when I have gone in there and hoovered up the little bits she has left lying around.

Any advice welcome.

TIA
LL

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QueenOfQuotes · 30/06/2005 10:35

Not sure what to advise really but I seem to recall I was pretty much the same when I was 8yrs old - and my parents did a great job of teaching me the value of things.

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luckylady · 30/06/2005 10:40

I know we have all done this in the and I was a spoilt child, so maybe she will just grow out of it and DH and I will just have to perservere and teach her as we go along. I am to soft withth em though. I would love to take her Bratz/ polly pocket or even her DVD combi away from her bedroom just for a couple of days to make her realise, but then I would feel really mean and upset for her. I suppose at the moment it is a no win situation.

Just wanted other peoples opinions etc and any advice anyone might have.

Thnkas anyway.

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misdee · 30/06/2005 10:42

i'd remove the expensive items. when dd1 started jumping on her bed i said i would take her bed and matress away as it was expensive and i couldnt afford to replace it. she soon stopped jumping, sleeping on the floor didnt sound too good to her.

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luckylady · 30/06/2005 19:49

I have had a word with her today and basically told her that she has to start to learn the value of things now and hoew to look after them. I have asked her does she think she diserves more jewlery etc for her bday as she doesn't look after them.

I think i have made her think a little bit more about things, will see how she goes. I know i was probably over reacting just get really annoyed when it seems to me she is being ungrateful, sometimes i need to remmebr that she is only 8 years old.

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Fimbo · 30/06/2005 19:54

LL-my dd is 7 and sounds pretty much the same as your dd. I try to take a firm line with her but my dh sometimes thinks I am too harsh and that all 7 year olds are like it, maybe they will grow out of it, but then come the teenage years!!

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luckylady · 30/06/2005 20:11

Thanks fimbo -I can't wait for the teenage years - NOT!!

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MrsGordonRamsay · 30/06/2005 20:34

Lucky Lady

Did you have a thread like this at Christmas or am I mistaking you for someone else ??

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luckylady · 02/07/2005 13:22

No MGR that was someone else...

DH have had a talk and we are going to start giveing DD pocket money £2 per week, we are alos going to deduct 25cents when she is naughty, (answering back etc) and add 25cents when she is good. Sheout of this she will have to buy nick nacks that she wants and magazines etc, so she will have to save it someweeks, or do etc chores etc to get the money. Hopefully this will work and help her realise what the value of money etc is...

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tiptop · 02/07/2005 13:48

Sorry, I haven't much time but I wanted to say something quickly on the importance of having storage items so that kids know where things are supposed to be kept ie a jewellery box for her rings, lidded containers for her beads, a toy box in the garage/shed for her outdoor toys, etc. Whenever my kids' rooms have been really untidy, I've looked around and realised that they either didn't have enough storage in order to put things away or the storage items weren't labelled so they didn't know where to put them. Your dd sounds like a typical 8 yr old to me, so take heart! Mine is 10 and thinks it's okay to stand on an office (ie wobbly) chair in order to put things on top of the wardrobe! Talk about risking hurting herself! She also stuffed things under the bed two days in a row despite me telling her off after the first time! I want to make time this weekend to help her to get the things down from the top of the wardrobe and sort out what she wants to keep and what can go to the charity shop or up into the attic for a few months so that we can sort them out again later. She's at that awkward stage where she can't bear to part with dolls and some toys yet, but also wants to be more grown up. Hth.

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luckylady · 02/07/2005 21:41

Thanks for the advice tiptop. That is part of why I get frustrated with her. She has 2 sets of stacking drwaers, 2 large toy tubs, 3 smaller toy tubs, 3 jewellery boxes, and 3 little stroage boxes on her dressing table. We do go up together and put all the dolls in one, clothes in another, accesories in another etc, etc etc..... but then when she plays or takes her jewlerey of they just all get put were ever. Maybe I should try and label all her boxes and see if that woks for her. I thnk the biggest prob with the toys is all the little pieces that go with Bratz, my scene and Polly Pockets. I think I may just get anopther vcouple of Big Toy boxes and have 1 for bratz and 1 for polly pockets etc tthis also may help. Then her storge sets can be used for her arty things and jewlery boxes.

ALso thanks for the reassurance that she sounds just like a normal 8 year old, luckily I haven't really told her off as such just had calm words to try and get her to understand.

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Chandra · 02/07/2005 21:46

I believe that in one of super nanny/little angels program they mentioned about allowing them to choose their 10 favourite toys and store/donate/bin the rest. That way they would learn to apreciate/take care of the toys as they would definitively would miss them if they lost them or ruin them. And of course, try to limit the amount of new things she gets.

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luckylady · 02/07/2005 21:54

CHndra- that is ok if they were all different toys but unfortunatley because bratz, my scene, polly pockets all have lots of sets, and accessories, and this is mainly what she has. She does play with all of them. Her baby dolls, Like baby Annabelle, Baby Expressions and Amazing Ally are all being sold as she has now said she doesnt want them so that will clear up some space as her baby gym etc can go aswell. We have also just donated a bin bag full of Teddies to the local orphanage. Hopefully things will work them selves out.

Thank you everyone for your advice it is much appreciated.

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Chandra · 02/07/2005 21:55

You can always have a limited amount of Bratz, many girls do

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AnnaInManchester · 02/07/2005 22:04

What is an orphanage in the UK called these days? Is it a childrens home?

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luckylady · 02/07/2005 22:16

AIM- We live in Cyprus they still have orphanages over here. the poor little mites . We live about 500meters from the border so I send the stuff over with my cleaner as the north is a lot poorer than this side.

I know Chandra but his is what I mean by it is my fault I am too soft.......

Maybe we should have another big sort out.....

I am crap at this I will throw it away etc lark and she knows it....