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How do you teach your children tact??

(8 Posts)
sheepgomeep Wed 29-Jun-05 20:29:07

How do you do it or is it something they have to learn?? My ds who is 6 in october has really put me in some tight embarrassing spots. We went to a friends house the other day and I took him to the loo there. Now my friend isn't exactly hot on the hygiene department (although I like her very much, her house is none too clean) I didn't say anything to ds but as he went to the toilet he said in the loudest voice possible 'Ugh mum this toilet is disgusting and it stinks'. My friend must have heard and I could have killed him.
He'll walk past someone wearing something funny and he'll say again (genuinly curious, I know my ds) why is she wearing THAT mummy in a loud voice.
I'm not like it myself so I can't see why he should be like it too. Is it just my ds, or are everyones kids like this too and is it something that has to be learnt??

starlover Wed 29-Jun-05 20:30:39

ALL kids are like it!
I think perhaps just have a talk to him and tell him that sometimes if we think people look funny, or their houses are dirty (!) then we should really keep it to ourselves in case it upsets them!

kids have no idea about tact... they just say what they think, and it takes them a while to realise!

Gobbledigook Wed 29-Jun-05 20:35:53

My ds1 did exactly the same with the toilet scenario as your ds!! He was only 4 though and they were doing building work so it wasn't like she'd just not cleaned it!! Ha ha! We just laughed about it.

Hmm, not sure how they learn it though! I guess you just have to say something to them at the time??

rummum Fri 01-Jul-05 14:33:53

I'm not sure what age they learn it though...
My nearly 9 year old daughter told my Mum that she had a moustach the other day... and she kept on about it, I had to tell her to shutup in the end...

The thing is Mum does have a moustach and I often wonder why she doen't do something about it.. may be this will promp her to get plucking or waxing

Marina Fri 01-Jul-05 14:40:22

You can try the hand-squeeze tactic when out in public. If they see or hear something interesting "What does fuck mean mummy" on the bus, for example, get them to squeeze your hand for attention and whisper their question, and you can answer it later. It does work - most of the time. For four and up.
Ds is six now and can properly understand the concept of do as you would be done by with regard to personal remarks about people or homes. He can now deal with duff presents by saying, "it was kind of you to think of me". We are trying to discourage outright lies, like "what a fabulous balaclava", or "yes please, pile on the cabbage" even when they are said with the best of intentions.

KBear Fri 01-Jul-05 14:45:30

LOL Marina!!!

Marina Fri 01-Jul-05 14:47:43

We have been practising this one kbear as ds is due to receive one hideous t shirt from MIL for his birthday instead of the anticipated Fistfuls of Power. Cue a lot of tedious would-be discussions initiated by me along the lines of "all these lovely people went shopping with you in mind....and you....this".

katierocket Fri 01-Jul-05 14:56:36


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