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Parenting

How many people dont have a TV or Nintendo/Wii/Gameboy?

68 replies

nighbynight · 29/11/2009 14:22

Just interested in hearing other people's experiences.
We had no TV when I was a child, because my parents thought it was full of rubbish.
I have bought a TV for my children, but draw the line at Nintendos, gameboys, Wiis and similar stuff.
Now I am getting pressure from ds, who says that he is the only child in his class who doesnt have one of these things,a nd that he is left out when they discuss the latest game. Apparently, they all take the nintendos to birthday parties, where they talk to each other via the messaging system, and play interactive games, and my children are the only ones who dont have one, and everyone thinks its because we are poor...
People round where we live tend to be very materialistic, but I do know another family that bans handheld gaming stuff.

I have no faith in the argument that "oh, they'll stop using it when the novelty wears off" because my children spend as long as I let them on the computer on websites like SpielAffe and PandaFu(games). And the more time they get, the more they want.
Does anyone not have a TV these days, or has the battle line shifted to nintendos and their ilk?

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AmazingBouncingFerret · 29/11/2009 14:30

Oh god sounds like a great party... the kids all sat around silently chatting to each other via their nintendos!!

We have a TV, Ds is only 3 but will not have a tv in his room until ever I think, I never had one in my room and managed to survive.

Novelty wont wear off because they constantly bring newer better consoles.

I sound really anti computer games now but im not! We have an XBox but to be honest only really use it to watch DVDs

I just dont understand the appeal and im sure I shall be in the same situation as you when DS is yammering on for whatever is the latest thing in several years time.

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nighbynight · 29/11/2009 14:39

Tvs in rooms reminds me of another dilemma...I have 4 children,a nd the bickering about which TV program to watch is reaching dreadful heights.
So, I can either throw the TV away altogether and have Peace instead, or get a second TV, which would have to go in the dss's bedroom. Or institute a rota on the wall, and a time allowance for each child for their personal choice.

not sure what to do atm.

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nighbynight · 29/11/2009 14:40

that is a good point about the novelty wearing off. And I am afraid I don't have the sort of perfect children to whom I can say "only 10 minutes on the Nintendo today, Cedric" and they will stick to that.

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ibbydibby · 29/11/2009 14:51

DS1 had reached the "old" age of 12 before we gave in and bought a Nintendo DS earlier this year.

He was going on a Yr 7 school trip, away for 3 nights, and his best (and only) friend wasn't going as he had just had an operation. Add that on to the fact that we had only just moved a year previously and he had struggled to make friends. I felt he needed a "treat". So I bought the Nintendo - on the basis that it is mine, and it is regarded as a privilege for DS1 (or DS2, now 9) to be allowed to play with it. Actually writing that out makes me sound like an ogre....

We have also invested in a PS3, which will be a joint Christmas present for DS1 & 2. I gave in because we took a few of DS1's friends (he has now made a few) to the cinema for his birthday treat recently and in the car on the way home, all they talked about was games consoles (ie xbox/Wii/play station). Apart from DS1 who could not join in the conversation as we don't have anything. I realised then how alienating it could feel. I feel very guilty about buying the play station, but felt I had to help DS1 "keep up" with his mates.

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Pinkmarshmallow · 29/11/2009 14:54

nighbynight,if you don't want your kids to have his stuff, don't let anyone pressurise you into getting it for them. I'm sure they are better off without it, can play and use their imaginations and learn to occupy themselves and are sociable when visitors call. Really annoys me when we go to niece and nephew's hse and they don't even look up to say hello when we walk in cos they're too "busy" on wii or ipod or mobile or laptop or whatever.And they don't like coming to visit us because they think there's nothing to do. The poor kids don't know how to play or hold a converstion with you. I'm not saying every kid who has the latest gadgets will be like this, but they need to keep their place and not take over and maybe if they hav them, give time limits for it.
We had no TV as kids and still don't have one now. I love reading, hope DD will too. Being a teacher, it is very noticeable that the kids who read more are ahead academically. It's hard enough to get motivated to do the simple things like go for a walk or take kids swimming or sit down and play a board game with them without the added distraction of this tecnology.
Agree with ABF about the "fun" silent party.... As a child, I remember other kids REALLY enjoying my birthday parties because we played games like pass the parcel and pin the tail on the donkey and musical chairs and had such fun....every other party I went to, a video was stuck on (that most kids had already seen anyway)....boring!
I'd stick to my guns if I were you, or you might regret it later on.
xxx

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Takver · 29/11/2009 14:58

We didn't have a tv (or console) until about 3 months ago (when dd was 7.5). DD (and us) did watch dvds on the computer but not particularly often (laptop, screen a bit rubbish, so not that great an experience). DD never asked for a tv or complained about not having one.

We got a new full size monitor which also has a tv tuner in it and a 2nd hand gamescube all at the same time. She loves the gamescube (we have quite a few passed on games from her uncle) but hasn't really had much interest in the tv so far. We have a strict rule of no more than 1 hour screen time on a week day, 1.5 hours at the weekend, and so far there hasn't been any arguing, probably in case the gamescube goes back home!

I would say that of dd's friends the only ones who seem to have games consoles of the Wii / X-box type at home are those with much older brothers. I think a (very) few of the children in her Y3/Y4 class have a DS, but perhaps they are more common as they get older?

We live in a generally low income rural area, which I imagine will make a big difference though - children here don't expect to have the latest & greatest anything really.

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Ivykaty44 · 29/11/2009 15:02

We have a very old tv and the channels are all muddled up - it gets watched though.

My dd2 has a nintendo, a mobile phone with a contract and would like a wii she is 11

dd1 has a mobile phone with contract but no nintendo and she is saving up for a laptop dd1 is 17

we have a ps2 that gets used for watching dvd's and the occasional singstar - usually wen the neigbours are aways due to the noise singing

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cazzybabs · 29/11/2009 15:08

no tv, but do have a wii

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SoMuchToBits · 29/11/2009 15:08

We have a tv (ds is almost 9) but not in his room. We don't have any form of games console, although ds occasionally plays games on the computer (e.g. on the Lego website). Most of his friends have at least one if not more games consoles, but ds is very much his own person and says he doesn't want one. If he goes round to other people's houses the only console he is remotely interested in is the Wii, but even then says he doesn't particularly want his own.

He spends a lot of time playing with his Playmobil/Lego or drawing or reading, as well as watching some tv programmes (he tends to like things like Mythbusters and Scrapheap Challenge).

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Takver · 29/11/2009 15:09

Pinkmarshmallow I'm not 100% convinced about games consoles destroying imagination - I've seen dd and two friends playing a 'platform' game (along the lines of Prince of Persia perhaps?) that one of the friends must have played/seen her parents playing on a computer with the aid of lots of cushions, different level chairs and a selection of cuddly toys

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nighbynight · 29/11/2009 16:28

I was when dd told me about the nintendo birthday party, but I suppose it is a logical progression.

I would buy one if I could see any advantage to it, but it seems me to be just a waste of time, really, that would be far better spent playing sport, reading or making something.

Wish my children would read more. Will mull over getting rid of the tv altogether. They were complete addicts 3 years ago, because they had spent time with ex h, and he doesn't believe in toys, so they were just left with the tv a lot of the time.

I have just asked them what they think about getting rid of the tv/dvd, and the answer is a resounding NO (in between watching a film).

What I would really like, is a tv that only came on between say 17.00 - 20.00...

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nighbynight · 29/11/2009 16:29

takver - dd made a really cute little nintendo out of cardboard and paper and sellotape. But I think that is an example of human creativity triumphing in spite of the electronic marshmallow-brain maker.

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littlerach · 29/11/2009 16:34

Dds don't have any form of games console, but we do have a TV and they use the laptop/PC regularly.

Both of them like ot read, so they do that a lot. Also in the car.

Dd1 (8.5) would love a Wii or DS, and says she is saving for the latter. If she saves enough I htink I'll let her buy one.

Dd2 isn't bothered at all (5.3).

I don't know that they would play with DS at all, though dd1 says she would in the car. And if we had a Wii I htink there would be more squabbling over whose turn it was.

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Takver · 29/11/2009 16:45

DD used to make pretend computers too when she was little, and use them "to look up the weather" .

We got the new screen & gamescube largely to encourage DD to read a bit less (long story - eye problems).

I do think that what parents model makes a big difference - DH & I like to play computer games, & we tend to play with DD rather than her playing on her own. Neither of us watches the tv at all, & we both read a lot & use the computer quite a bit (including to look up the weather forecast ), so I guess that tv doesn't come to mind as a first choice activity for DD (though she's quite happy to watch it if its on at someone elses house).

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MmeLindt · 29/11/2009 16:52

We have a TV downstairs and a tiny portable TV with DVD player upstairs.

The TV upstairs is not connected to sat box so they can only watch films (that I have in the office).

I don't want them to be able to watch whatever they want on TV. We have sat dish and there is a lot on there that is not suitable for DC.

DD is getting a Nintendo for Xmas but use will be limited.

I think that allowing limited use is better than banning altogether. My SIL had no TV when the DC were growing up and when they visited my PILS all the DC wanted to do was watch TV.

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Takver · 29/11/2009 17:02

I'm not sure that's always the case, MmeL - like I say, DD didn't have tv til a few months back, and she never asked to watch it at her GPs house or elsewhere (they would have been quite happy to put CBBC on for her had she asked).

On a practical note, nightbynight, I think that the 'everyone else has one' element might be more of an issue for boys? Also, if you felt that your DCs were genuinely being excluded, could you come up with some deal where by they agree to a definite limit on screen time (maybe less than their current tv watching) in exchange for having a console - and that the console goes if they don't stick to the limit without argument . . .

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Ivykaty44 · 29/11/2009 17:30

I had a neigbour as a dc and when she visited to paly all she wanted to do was sit and watch the tv - due to not having a tv at home. So I would go off and play by miself. eventually I didn't bother to invite her insdie the house and would only play in the street with her I got wise.

it wasn't that the family were poor they were middle class and didn't approve of tv

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UniS · 29/11/2009 17:36

NO TV receicever since teh world went digital, but do have an old TV as video monitor and use i-player for Ceebeebies progrmes.
I get to control what 3 yr old watches and we don't have to watch the annoying linky bits. Nothing against TV per se, just don;t find there is enough on that I wish to shell out 100s every year to watch.

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noddyholder · 29/11/2009 17:47

No games consoles but do have tv

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TillyMintSpy · 29/11/2009 17:54

We are the "screen" police!

We have a TV in the sitting room which only gets turned on when we allow it

No TV's in any bedrooms apart from ours

DH's Wii is only used if he is in and allows them to (about once a week, if that)

DC have DS's, but they are only allowed on them 30mins a day max. DD virtually never uses hers - just if a DS-mad friend is round. DS (who is extremely difficult assertive and iron-willed) is pretty good with the rule, although he still has the odd tantrum

So having "screens" doesn't necessarily mean over-use.

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Earthstar · 29/11/2009 17:56

My dd (age 10) has a DS and a Wii and neither get any amount of use because she is simply not that interested...not more than 1 hour a month for the both of them.

She also has an ipod which is only ever used on long car journeys.

Not all kids are interested in this stuff tbh.

I think a no TV rule is great in many ways but it robs kids of shared cultural references which is a real negative point imo.

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thumbwitch · 29/11/2009 18:00

we have a tv. When we lived in the UK, we had 3 tvs - one in the living room, one in our bedroom (so DH could watch football away from me) and a video monitor one in DS's room because I worked from home, so I would put a video on for him for an hour (yes, I know, naughty, electronic nanny etc.)

No games machines or playstations or any of that ilk. Can't be doing with them. BUT - am also worried about the alienation of DS when he gets older - will have to cross that bridge when we get there.

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nighbynight · 29/11/2009 19:36

I didn't watch all the 70s and 80s childrens programs, and I dont think I missed out on much. I did have to ask someone who Terry Wogan was at the height of his fame in the late 80s, but again, I dont think this made me deprived.
The only thing for which I regret not having a tv, was that I didnt see the news from east africa that launched Bandaid. I bought the record, but didnt really get it until much, much later.

I would love to be the screen police, but it's simply not an option - I am out at work full time, and get back at 6pm. Children stay with an au pair. there are 4 of them, and they are all extremely determined to get their own way, they just automatically oppose every rule, which is extremely wearing.
So whatever arrangement I make with a game box, it's got to work while I'm not there as well.

It seems that nintendos etc dont have quite the stranglehold in the UK that they do in Germany?

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CookieMonster2 · 29/11/2009 22:58

I can't believe some of the views I am reading about tv. We have 2 tvs and a number of games consoles, yet we are not screen adicts.

We don't watch live tv, because I don't want a tv schedule running our lives, we have a freeview recorder and record what we consider to be suitable programmes for our children. Something we watch a lot at the moment is Inside Life (?) I think on CBBC. This is a good educational programme and one where I think the TV does a much better job than a book would. We also watch I Can Cook on CBeebies and then make the recipies ourselves.

The games consoles/computer are making the kids familiar with a keyboard and mouse, and teaching good coordination, as well as improving english/logic/puzzle solving skills with the games we have.

We don't make the tv/computer a treat in anyway, its just one of the many things we do with our time, alongside reading books, making stuff, going swimming, riding bikes.

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JesusChristOtterStar · 29/11/2009 22:59

my children do not have any ninetendo wii etc

they do not have tv but do have A tv on which to watch films

no computer access either

they are very happy !

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