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Have you kept your single friends?(5 Posts)
Just wondered if other people have found it difficult to keep up their friendships with friends who do not have kids. What has been their reaction to you becoming a mum?
Yes, I've kept up with all my child-free friends. Some of them are child-free by choice, other's just haven't found the right person yet. I work very near to my best friend who is child-free, so I can see her for lunch. It hasn't made any difference to my friendships at all, but then I don't think I've changed since having ds, apart from not being able to go out in the evening as much. Working full-time probably helps as I am free to see people at lunchtime and can use email all day if I want.
It sounds as though you have lots of opportunities to see your childfree friends when you are away from your DS. Do you mix together your friends with children with those without children or are there problems with this? I ask as a mum who sometimes feels caught in the middle when I see the eyes of childfree friends glaze over as the mummies and daddies get stuck into tales from family life. Or hear of the childfrees' frustration at not getting a decent conversation when the children are around (parents being distracted etc). I have also had childfree friends say that they feel very excluded when friends have babies and it is assumed that they have no interest or are incompetent.
most of my babyless friends i don't see much, but i do try to call them about one time a month. every now and then dh will watch the children and i go party party party. this only happens about once a year, thank god, because i pay for it for about a week.
most of my babyless friends trials of life seem to be so petty now that i have a family, all they have time for is themselves, and all i have time for is my family. who they are dating, what happened, where they are going on vacation. all that is wonderful, just that i am more concerned with ds doctor appointments, dh needs to be somewhere tonight, dd dentist, and fieldtrips and so on and when you don't have children that stuff isn't so important. funny isn't. before i had children i never thought that this would be my life.
but to answer the question. i still have contact, but to be honest there really isn't much time for anyone else other than the three others and the dog at home. we entertain family sometimes, but that puts us so out of sink with schedules. WOW!
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