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Left on my own for a week...... how do people cope?!?

(36 Posts)
M2T Mon 02-Jun-03 11:48:34

I am a total wimp! DP had to go to his parents (400 miles away) for a funeral. It was a close family member. He left on Saturday morning and I'm already wondering how the heck single parents can cope! Or parents who's partners often work away from home for a few weeks at a time.

The dishes are piling up, I just about managed a a shower this morning and last night I got myself so scared of the noises the house was making that I couldn't sleep!

And I can't even type about my trip to Tesco last night!! It was all too traumatic, but at least we did it and got home safely.

DP has never been away from us for loner than 2 nights and I miss him so much. This could be very good for us and will make me realise just how much I love him and miss him.

So... hats off to all those parents who have to do it on their own (even for a few weeks).

I used to be SO independant. I really am pathetic now, aren't I?? (oh god please don't answer that!)

M2T Mon 02-Jun-03 11:49:22

Forgot to mention he won't be home until Friday night.

codswallop Mon 02-Jun-03 11:51:08

that is crap m2t
dh just left nme and boys(4 2 and 10 weeks) for 2 weeks
Pull yourself together!!

bubbly Mon 02-Jun-03 11:56:44

Oh M2T - big hugs. I remeber being here alone the first time and when the heating came on at the crack of dawn the pipes creaking sounded like someone walking around the house. I was too scared to leave the room and had left the phone downstairs so couldnt phone anyone. It was awful. You are not a wimp nor are you pathetic. It is staggeringly difficult to juggle the children and the house and work (whatever kind) when you have no other adult around as a safety valve. I highly recommend tesco online though loads of bad TV any kind of food you want and sleeping diagonally accross the bed.... I always thought it would be great to have a joint but was too worried in case one of the kids needed me in the night
Funnily enough when he comes back you might find that although you missed him, you managed to get into your own sort of a routine (sod the dishes etc) and enjoy it.

codswallop Mon 02-Jun-03 11:57:09

sorry m2t was about to leave to go to tesco myself(need to break waitrose habit) and felt guilty..
It is hard isbnt it. I think you rely on them and so forget you could ever cope alone!!
My dh dissolves into hysterics at the thought oif me inter railing years ago!

M2T Mon 02-Jun-03 12:05:01

Codswallop - no need to feel guilty. I know that my situation is probably a walk in the park for you! i can just see you in Xena Warrior Princess outfit..... battling through your day.

Thanks Bubbly - I can't believe how much a I do depend on him. I didn't realise until now.

I did buy myself a Hello! magazine to read this evening so hopefully I can stay awake long enough.

pie Mon 02-Jun-03 12:28:54

Before I met DH, when I was a single mum, though only for about 6 months, I remember just making sure I was out of the house the WHOLE time, that way there was never any mess when I got home. My DH went home to the States 2 years a go for 3 months as well, and yet again, DD and I really got to know the museums and parks really well.

Packed a lunch and was out from dawn to dusk.

DH refuses to believe that I coped on my own, he tells me that he's worried about getting a job when his course finishes as I'll be all alone. Granted I'm almost bedridden, but I still have some confidence. I point out that I've done it before and I'll do it again.

Don't they just love to feel needed?????

M2T is there anyone you would feel safe leaving your DS with??? Maybe this time alone is a prime opportunity to have some girly time.

Otherwise my advice is to go out, oh yeah and only have paper plates. As for the bumps in the night, ear plugs anyone?

M2T Mon 02-Jun-03 12:34:52

Thanks Pie. It's hard for me to get out and about coz I don't have any nice parks within walking distance and I can't drive.

I've got to admire you pie!

My Mum is taking ds on Thursday night and I'm going out with work. So that's something.

My best friend (used loosely at the moment) was supposed to come around yesterday, but when I txted her she phoned to say she had totally forgotten about me and was going to meet her new boyfriends (same friend from previous thread re. splitting her marriage up after 7mths!). Thanks VERY much luv!

Paper plates! Fantastic ideq. I have some left over from a BBQ last year... and cutlery and napkins. Sorted!

pie Mon 02-Jun-03 12:38:05

I actually found that DD ate better with the paper plates, she thought that every day was a picnic

M2T Mon 02-Jun-03 12:39:14

OOOOOOPS!! I meant her new boyfriend! She only has one..... oh dear I didn't mean to make her out to be a slapper..... LOL!

miggy Mon 02-Jun-03 13:15:58

Ds is often away for work, up to 2 weeks at a time. In some ways I find it easier-less washing/mess, I can eat with kids everynight and not bother to cook "adult" evening meal. I just have to be careful not to read any thrillers or watch anything vaguely scary on tv (casualty is about the limit!) for that time.

wiltshirelass Mon 02-Jun-03 13:20:00

actually sometimes we do have picnics for no reason - get out the plates and eat on the kitchen floor on a party tablecloth. the children think it is hilarious and always eat very well!

codswallop Mon 02-Jun-03 13:46:40

(yearns to be inventive mother..)

M2T Mon 02-Jun-03 13:48:57

Tell me about it Coddy! I need to get out of my routine and start being a bit more imaginative. Us left-handers are s'pose to be dead creative!! Not so far.....

>mental note - must have picnic on kitchen floor this week<

>added note... remember to include ds<

SoupDragon Mon 02-Jun-03 13:50:31

Yes - we have picnics occasionally. blanket on the floor, anywhere. The downside is that DS1 expects "lots of food" meaning a large variety.

Melly Mon 02-Jun-03 13:54:11

Hi M2T, no you're not pathetic, you're just normal. Sometimes I think the thought of coping on your own is worse and when it actually comes around you do just fine. My dh is in the Navy and is away quite a bit, it didn't seem too much of a problem when I just had dd who is nearly 2, but now we have ds who is 7 weeks I am finding it really hard. It doesn't help that we live in a very rural area so some days I don't see anyone. As you say though it does make you appreciate your partner - last week I was so pleased to see dh when he got home on Friday afternoon.
Hope this week goes ok for you, I'm sure you will manage just fine, a little tip, if things get you down, put the children somewhere safe and take a few minutes outside to chill out

suedonim Mon 02-Jun-03 15:08:37

I've spent long periods on my own, too, and it helps to have a few tricks up your sleeve. Noises used to scare me, so I'd keep a radio playing softly in the bedroom. Plan some little treats, like the picnic idea or some special food only you and Dk's like. A jaunt out to get some fresh air is amazingly therapeutic and of course, do spend some time choosing what *you* want to watch on the TV!

wiltshirelass Mon 02-Jun-03 15:11:17

and while you watch the tv of your choice, paint your toes, take it off again because it looks crap, paint them another colour, raise your head and listen to the absence of mumbled "isn't that stuff toxic? shall I open a window? are you almost finished?" coming from dh

Starsky Mon 02-Jun-03 15:23:01

M2T - I know how you feel - my dh went away on Saturday to India for 2 weeks. I am just trying to arrange lots of stuff to do and not expect to be able to do loads around the house - not too much of a disappointment anyway!
I agree that having him away does make me appreciate how much he does for us and how much I miss and love him.
However, at least he is only away for 2 weeks and will be back soon. I am counting the days!!

Lindy Mon 02-Jun-03 15:55:01

Well, I'm with Miggy - I actually prefer being on my own!! House seems to stay tidier, less 'formal' cooking, smaller pile of laundry & ironing, no packed lunches to make, can stay on mumsnet all the time without thinking I should be spending 'quality' time with DH, no need to make an effort in bed!! And the thought that my DH would even be seen in a supermarket - don't make my laugh!!

I get more stressed when he DOESN'T go away!

M2T Mon 02-Jun-03 15:59:28

Lindy - I just couldn't cope with that! My dp does most of the housework. I always cook, but then again I enjoy cooking.
We always go to the supermarket together. He's a gem..... when he's not being a totally insensitive sh*t.

M2T Mon 02-Jun-03 15:59:33

Lindy - I just couldn't cope with that! My dp does most of the housework. I always cook, but then again I enjoy cooking.
We always go to the supermarket together. He's a gem..... when he's not being a totally insensitive sh*t.

bubbly Mon 02-Jun-03 16:06:30

wiltshirelass- LOL

M2T Mon 02-Jun-03 16:09:27

Forgot to mention that Wiltshirelass! LOL.

My dp actually GAGS at the smell of it..... slightly dramatic I does think.

wiltshirelass Mon 02-Jun-03 16:13:01

isn't it wierd? I do only manage to paint my nails about twice a year, but when he sees the little bottles coming out his eyes widen, his nostrils flare and he says "oh. are you going to do that now?" no, actually I'm just checking them to see that they haven't spontaneously combusted in the six months since I last took them out of the drawer...

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