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How can I get dd to go to her Dad more.

(3 Posts)
janjas Wed 11-Nov-09 19:44:19

DH is a fantastic dad and absolutely adores his "princess"! DD is 3.5 and has always been clingy with me, but DH takes her swimming once a week, spends loads of time playing games and toys with her, will bath her, play outside with her... the list does on and on. She loves this, but only if I'm not there. However she is starting to get more and more clingy with me and sometimes will completely ignore her dad if I'm about. When it comes to bedtime she only wants me to read to her, she only wants to sit on my knee, she only wants cuddles from me, will only hold my hand if we are all out etc. I was out for the day yesterday and she had a lovely day with her Dad, they went to soft play then out for lunch. She was having a nice time with him then as soon as I got in he got ignored by her. Its starting to get him down now and starting to cause rows between us. Its been going on for a few months now. Can anybody offer any advice?

mamaloco Thu 12-Nov-09 07:20:36

She looks like she has no problem going to her dad, she just want your undevided attention, and try to get in between you two (and apparently succeeding if you are having rows about it!).
Try letting your husband do more when you are about, set up a night routine to involve him "it is dady's turn tonight to read a story because I am busy, reading, watching the news...You get my drift and be firm
If she comes to you and cry, just ignore her (I know it is tough, but she won't hate either of you for it), if she is very upset (yelling, throwing things, slamming doors, tantrums...) no bedtime story at all. Basically you have to say no more when she try to get her way. Tell her you love her but you can't "hold her hand,....." at the moment, may be later. And if she push her dad away for cuddles explain to her that it is very hurtful for dad, and if you don't want to cuddle her how would she feel.
DD did went to a phase like that where she was trying to dictate the house (I want YOU to do that...) and at first my DH let her get away with it and it was awful. We coudn't even have a cuddle without her pushing him away and taking his place. After little time, with the new agreed plan, she settled in the new routine (dad and mum can help her) we have a familly cuddles when she wants it (and one to one as well).
Makes sure she knows you will always be there for her, but you don't have to be there all the time, dad loves her too and likes doing thinks with her, and you need some me time to be a better/fun mum.

janjas Thu 12-Nov-09 14:26:36

Thankyou Mamaloco x

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