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Any suggestions on good baby led parenting books(9 Posts)
I am finding my feet as new mum with DD being 2 weeks old tomorrow. I am someone who although does have courage in her convictions- at the moment am doubting myself a lot and would like to have a book to refer to for support. I have the "What to expect in the first year", and like how much it says that you should not worry about a routine at all and go with on demand feeding etc- but I think I need to see how this will develop slowly into something. I am especially having trouble with helping DS get himself to sleep during the day without resorting to feeding him- and I have read that you shouldn't create a food/sleep link???
I want to try and avoid the very structured approaches and really just want something gentle but that has ideas I can try?
I am possibly turning into a panicky/worry filled forum user...
Hi hope you and you're new baby are doing well . Advice i would give to you is , no book will give you the answers you need , being a parent is one of those jobs where you dont get a hand book . You will know what your baby wants without you even knowing it . Just do what you feel is best for your baby and you will learn as you go on , wishing you all the best x
The Social Baby
Bin 'What to Expect...'
Stop worrying about feeding to sleep. Right now feeding to sleep is one of the best weapons in your mummy arsenal.
Get a stretchy wrap sling. Feed your baby (to sleep) wrap her up, do your jobs, sit down 1.5 -2 hrs later with a cuppa and a snack, offer another feed.
and so it goes.
Our baby is nearly 12 weeks old. We don't follow any particular 'style' or book or routine, but found the above 'Babysense' book very helpful. This fitted in with our ideas about babies and their needs and development (SEN teacher and a neurologist). I don't think we learned anything particularly new from the book, but it helped clarify our ideas. The bits about how much sleep a little baby needs were really useful for us.
I wish I'd read 'What mothers do - especially when it looks like nothing' when DD was two weeks. Read it when she was about 6 weeks and still great, but would have helped me through a really difficult time in the very early stages. Try and get hold of it.
I was very much a routine mum and it worked wonders for me BUT at 2 weeks old, you have nothing to worry about! Trying not to feed to sleep would be more of a problem! I would definitely suggest waiting several more weeks before starting to structure your day. What worked best for me was to have all daytime naps in the pram and I walked baby out at nap times which guaranteed baby fell asleep at the right times. After a few weeks, these times were getting pretty ingrained and had no trouble putting baby into cotbed for big lunchtime nap and then still into pram for walkies at morning and afternoon naps.
In another 2 weeks or so, you will find babay starts to stay awake more and it will then be easier to feed, play then nap and break the association but even then, you will probably find that it may be several months before baby goes off to sleep without feeding.
Good luck, try not to worry and enjoy!
Do exactly as foxytocin says!
I've posted my views on getting baby to sleep 'independently' here:
I'd suggest anything by William Sears and Martha Sears. Check them out:
All really baby friendly. Saved my life!
Thank you all- i love mumsnet!! It is so nice to be told not to worry by people going through the same thing or who have very recently.
A friend of mine recommended "the baby in the mirror" which I have ordered, and I will look into all your suggestions as well as trying to stop stressing. I am lucky that my mum has come to stay with me and she is being so supportive that her and all of you is definitely making me feel better.
Thanks again x
Another vote for the Sears books. There's an all-in-one volume called The Baby Book which you can find in a lot of public libraries. Wish I'd found it earlier myself.
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