I am a regular poster but have changed my name for this, as I am so embarrassed and I'm sure I will get a lot of comments that won't make pleasant reading
I was leaving playgroup today when another mother came up to me and angrily said I had not taken enough care bypassing her little boy who was standing in the doorway. I honestly had no recollection of bumping into him or knocking him over, as far as I was concerned I had gone round him OK. She then angrily said I should have waited for her to move him. Now, since I was completely unaware of having discommoded him in any way, at that precise moment, what she was saying felt like an unprovoked attack, and so I said "Well, you shouldn't leave him standing in the doorway". Of course this then escalated the situation, with her saying, "You should have taken more care" and me saying, "No, you should". How childish and pathetic is that? Of course everyone was staring by then. She ended up following me out of the place saying I was a bad mother who didn't know how to look after children.
I am honestly not the sort of person that goes around trampling small children willy nilly and looking for arguments. Of course if I accidentally bump into a child, I immediately see if they are OK and apologise. I have kept replaying the scene in my mind and honestly can't remember bumping this child, but as I was leaving, I was a little distracted, so maybe I could have? In any event, whether I did or not, my response was not what it should have been - I should not have responded so defensively or at least should have ignored her further comments. Even if someone does leave their child in the doorway (and anyway they always go for the hazards) it doesn't excuse other parents from taking care, of course not. I do normally take care when children are in the doorway, in fact, the whole ethos of the playgroup is one where everyone looks out for all the kids - and this is one of the reasons I like it so much.
Now I keep thinking what if I did bump that little boy and didn't even apologise but got into an argument instead? I wouldn't be too pleased if somebody carelessly bumped into my kids either. BTW the little boy in question seemed absolutely fine, not crying or anything, so I don't think he was hurt.
I have just signed up to become a volunteer at the playgroup, but maybe they won't want me now.
Anyway, I have written this to get it down and to ask M'netters what I should do the next time I see this other mother. Should I apologise or let it lie? I'm leaning towards the former, but with some trepidation. Based on what I saw this morning, I don't think she is the type of person to be gracious about it.
Thanks for listening.
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Had an argument with another mother at playgroup today - very miserable and embarrassed
34 replies
playgrouppariah · 17/06/2005 13:25
OP posts:
MaloryTowers ·
17/06/2005 13:32
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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