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any one regret sticking with two?

(13 Posts)
chosenone Thu 05-Nov-09 15:31:11

I know its a big issue that many people grapple with but just wondering really. DH and I decided to ttc DC 3 early summer as I felt I wanted one more and persuaded him, I then thought I was PG for a few days and was relieved with a negative test. hmm We've discussed this over and over and the only things stopping me having two are; money, career, space in the house. I think they're pretty big things tbh and DH feels we are 'done' and feels we should focus on the two we have. Part of me worries I may regret it in a few years but part of me feels the baby bit is too much to go through to get a bigger family. DS 4.3 and DD 2.5

Older women at work with grown up children seem to wish they'd had more but there seems to be an element of rose tinted glasses there cos when I push them on this I get comments like, 'actually I couldn't have coped with more than 2 teenagers' etc. I just wish I felt 100% sure

pointydogg Thu 05-Nov-09 17:26:36

There is an element of rose tinted glasses, I think.

Also, there are irrational hormones at play that some people find hard to deal with. But they are irrational in most cases. Nothing makes three children better than two, or four better than three etc.

pooka Thu 05-Nov-09 17:34:27

I have 3 - dd is 6, ds1 is 4 and ds2 is 9 weeks (born the week before ds1's 4th birthday).

Funnily, once I was actually pregnant I became really scared had made a mistake. Now ds2 is here I wouldn't change things for the world. But concerns re: car/space are valid concerns, though maybe not insurmountable. I was already a SAHM when I conceived ds2.

The only downside now is that I am so certain that ds2 is the last, that I feel sad with every passing milestone that wont experience again. Might be made worse though because have been advised not to have any more, because ds2 had rhesus disease and I have obviously produced hefty antibodies that might make a future pregnancy very risky.

Lizzylou Thu 05-Nov-09 17:35:26

No, I don't I couldn't cope with more DC.

That said I get phases where I am very broody and coo over every newborn I see. I definitely remember the baby stage with rose tinted glasses now grin, and my youngest is 3.5yrs old.

I know in my heart of hearts though that 2 is the magic number for us.

50ftQueenie Thu 05-Nov-09 17:36:32

Oh how odd, I was just thinking about posting the same question! I will watch with interest....

southeastastra Thu 05-Nov-09 17:37:38

sometimes, though bit too late now. wish i'd had one in between my two.

displayuntilbestbefore Thu 05-Nov-09 17:39:41

I didn't stick at 2 but that was becaue I didn't "feel" that I'd finished yet IYKWIM!
Satisfied half way through the next pregnancy that that would be my last and haven't given it a moment's thought aside from a very brief pang when friend had unexpected 2nd child a few months ago and made me wonder for a millisecond whether I'd do it again...but dh soon put me in my place!

chosenone Thu 05-Nov-09 20:14:41

awww congratulations Pooka.

If I was a SAHM i think my mind would be made up but Im a teacher (part time) I really enjoy it and feel Im getting my dept where I want it now, I am honestly reluctant to have the time off again! I think I'm putting presurre on myself as I wouldn't want a huge age gap as DC1 and DC2 are less than 2 years apart it would seem unfair to have over 3 or 4 years between DC3. I definately don't feel up for ttc, just worried I'll regret it, strange old business!

CantSleepWontSleep Thu 05-Nov-09 20:18:36

G'wan 50ft - you know you want to wink.

50ftQueenie Thu 05-Nov-09 20:37:00


mollybob Thu 05-Nov-09 20:44:46

I am currently pregnant with DC3 and absolutely think I've lost my mind! Hope when it arrives that I am pleased with the outcome. Right now I think 2 was our magic number too


Undercovamutha Thu 05-Nov-09 20:48:37

I have always been adamant that I only want 2, and deep down I am sure that's the right decision for us, but every now and again I feel so sad about not having another one. You know, all the 'that's the last time I will ever bf/use the moses basket etc etc......'

Rochel4 Thu 05-Nov-09 21:37:48

I have 4 dc and after each one I told my dh that I could'nt go through the whole thing again. (had ppd aswell). But now I can't imagine life without each one. Though I do believe that there has to be a last wether its 2 or 8, you can only have as many as you feel capable of dealing with.

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