19 month old DS cried inconsolably at bed time. He is in his own room. No light in the room but one on in the hall way. He is fone until I put him in the cot. It goes on for about an hour and only stops when I go in and sit him on my lap. As soon as I out him back down he starts again. I am sure this is just a phase but any idea why? My mum says leave him to it which I find difficult as he sounds so distressed.
God I'd cry if my mum just buggered off and left me in my cot in the dark without any means of comforting too - at his age I mean!
Look, you don't know what's going on, he could be teething, he could be lonely, but while leaving him to cry it out will teach him 'no-one will come, there is no point in trying to get attention' you are also teaching him some other stuff you may not be so happy about.
May I suggest you invest in a copy of the No Cry Sleep Guide and read it and see the many hundreds of ways you can solve this, without either of you having to get upset?
You don't say whether this has always been the case or not, if it isn't, there is probably a (solvable) reason for it. You just need to figure out what it is - perhaps he's too hot, too cold, in pain, or has indigestion (if he's only happy sitting up on your lap)?
Cheer up, you can fix this and you are right to want to do it without upsetting either of you.
This isn't going to be what you're looking for, but my dd did this. I tried everything from sitting next to the cot, no eye contact, patting, singing, gradual withdrawal from the room. In the end, I felt that these approaches were making things worse and she was overstimulated. I left her to it, very difficult to do on nights one and two. By night three I put her down, said 'night-night, go to sleep' and left the room and she settled herself.
Other than a couple of blips with illness or change of routine, she has been self settling ever since.
Sorry for the terrible typos . Thanks for the advice. I forgot to add that this is a new behaviour. Only started at the weekend. We have had terrible trouble getting him to sleep through. In fact he has only slept through in the last 6 weeks. I sat with him last night in the dark with my hand on his back. He was fine until I left so it must be anxiety related . I think I will try leaving him for a bit, go in comfort. Then leave a bit longer. After having so many problems getting him to sleep I realy don't want to encourage him to do this too often. I still wake up in disbelief when I realise he has slept through again.