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is it ok to let a clever two yera old know he has made you angry

(12 Posts)
bumbly Wed 04-Nov-09 15:01:25

kept going on and on today about hitting other kids and i got annoyed so kinda went quiet to ignore him

then he kept saying mummy not talking to me...talk mummy

was to my surprise!

i replied and explained why i was mad

then after i cooled down i talked to him as normal and he said

mummy talking to me now

was i in the wrong or is it good he starts understanding his actions have consequences when he misbehaves?

LIZS Wed 04-Nov-09 15:04:28

He's not too young to be learning consequences. However as long as all he is doing is talking about hitting, rather than doing it,it seems extreme to ignore him , change the subject or distract him with an activity or toy.

bumbly Wed 04-Nov-09 15:10:01

he isnt hitting you are right but everytime i meet someone with kid he almost hits them - whether he knows child or not

getting frustrating/embarassing to say least

Hulababy Wed 04-Nov-09 15:20:35

I am not sure he will "get" the ignring him nor relate it as a punishment/consequence to him hittin other people.

I think you are better to talk to him, not ignore him.

When he talsk about hitting another child, get down to his level and remind hm that it is not kind to hit, that he hurts them and he makes them sad. And tell him "no, no hitting."

And do this evey time he talks about hitting someone.

I truely don't think that the ignoring is going to work.

Hulababy Wed 04-Nov-09 15:21:52

Oh and if he tried to hit a child whilst you are there - take his hand in yours (ideally to prevent the hit) and stop him, and again - get down at his level, say no hitting and say it hurts and makes others sad. Remind him to "be gentle" instead.

RemyMartin Wed 04-Nov-09 15:24:15

Just to put it in perspective, I think it's good that he hasn't actually hit another child yet, most children do.

Try not to let it annoy you too much, he doesn't know any better yet. You have to teach him.

MamaG Wed 04-Nov-09 15:30:44

Agree with hula

bumbly Wed 04-Nov-09 15:59:11

i know but it is veyr embarrassing for him to say loudly shall i hit and appraoch a total strnager kid an dalmost whack in head

veyr gentle boy so nbot sure where htis has come from

just kicked me while changing his nappy

need tie out tongiht i think

exhausted

bumbly Wed 04-Nov-09 15:59:32

sorry baout typos - just so tired

LIZS Wed 04-Nov-09 16:06:34

Perhaps you need to do some social rehearsals if that is his impulse ie. teddy bear tea parties or use any toy figures. Respond with "no we don't hit, say hello and smile " then move swiftly on. Has he perhaps been in situation where another child has hit him first or seen it ?

randomama Wed 04-Nov-09 23:15:44

DS went through this a few months ago. he's also v communicative/verbally advanced. when he kicked me i'd say hey we don't kick people, kicking hurts. we kick balls not people, and kick a ball or balloon or something and think of other stuff we could kick.

likewise with hitting. i always say/said hey no we never hit people, hitting hurts, we hit pillows or balloons (again - always have balloons to hand )

the strategy seems to work both as a explanation and a distraction onto something more positive for him to do with the action/idea of hitting/kicking (works with biting too, e.g. apples, bananas, ad infinitum).

but i remember once in the bath he was going through all the things he could hit but then under his breath when he thought i wasn't listening he'd say "hit people hit people hit people". shock !!! it was all very 70s horror film.

although that was a bit weird, in reality and in his interactions with others, i have never seen him display violent behaviour towards anyone. i think he understood it's unacceptable. but that doesn't mean it's not going to be a source of fascination conceptually.

wow. epic response. sorry. good luck!!!

bumbly Fri 06-Nov-09 15:13:10

well your long answer was most welconme

thanks loads

my kid seems to be like how yours was

perhaps it is a fascination!! with the biting hitting and seems to only do it with me not daddy and so far not really to other kids but only threatening - was fascinated yest when read a story about not hitting!

most odd

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