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wwyd, friends ds keeps hitting/roughing up my dd.

(4 Posts)
carriedababi Mon 02-Nov-09 14:16:28

i love this friend dearly, we get n great have loads in common, but it's getting very very difficult to spend time with her as her ds is very aggressive.

he is 4 at christmas and my dd is 2 and a half at christmas

she had a new baby about 6 weeks ago
but he has always been like this, i've seen my friends twice since the new baby, once when the ds wasn't there and the second time he was.

the last ime i went round there her ds, rammed a digger toy with a serated edge into my dd 5 times,we only stayed 20mins then i rushed us out, everytime she tells him off but he doesn't listen

he has hit her lots of times and kicked alot too.

now it's got to the stage where i don't really want spend time with them because of her ds aggression.

this has been going on about 2 years now, the first time he kicked dd she was only 8 months
so its not like its the first time
so i just can't have this anymore

i'm not really stuck for company as i have 3 other really good friends with children that aare about in the day plus family, but i worry for her as she doesn't really have anyone to hang out with

i was thinking saying lets meet up in the evenings without kids, but its difficult as shes got the new baby and probably won't be up for a night out for a while.

but what do i do now, tell my friend why i don't want to meet up and risk upsetting her or keep making excuses and avoiding her which is making me feel like a right bitch esp as she has the new baby now too.

flockwallpaper Mon 02-Nov-09 15:55:08

It's a tricky one - I was in a similar situation once. It is probably worth asking her if she fancies a evening out. She may say yes or she may say no, but it tells her that you are still interested in her friendship, even if you decide to take a break from seeing her whilst her DC is in tow.

Can you talk to her openly about the aggressive behavior? She might appreciate some help, particularly as she has a new LO?

Marne Mon 02-Nov-09 16:18:32

Speak to her, tell her that you love coming over to see them but you are worried that your lo will get hurt as she's a lot smaller than her ds.

The best thing she can do is remover her ds from the room when he hits/throws/pinches etc..

Also (like flock suggested) maybe a evening out without the kids just to let her know that you value her friendship.

carriedababi Mon 02-Nov-09 16:28:59

i'd love to talk to her about it, as i feel terrible avoiding hersad
but i'd hate to upset her esp at the moment when shes just had a new baby and all.

but at least she would know it's not hersad

just a difficult situation

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