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at my wits end - please help

(9 Posts)
octopusinabox Mon 02-Nov-09 11:32:11

My 9 month old just won't bloody nap at all - she cries and cries in the day as she wants to be held/fed all the time. On a good day she'll nap for 10 or 15 minutes but only on my lap or in the pushchair. The rest of the time she's grouchy and in need of sleep. She won't just play on the floor she needs to be held - even then she just fusses about. I still haven't even had chance to clean up after breakfast as she's not let me have a minute away from her. What the hell can I do as I'm starting to lose it. She sleeps about 8 hours in the night so must only be getting at most 8.5 hours a day.

I'm just not getting any time to do anything - if she was newborn then fair enough but it's been 9 months now and I can't do this anymore.

I know I shouldn't compare but other babies the same age seem to be sleeping hours in the day - how do they do that?

I've tried just putting her in her cot but she just cries hysterically. I've tried the no cry sleep book but still the same.

Help please

pooter Mon 02-Nov-09 11:39:49

Get an ergo sling, and put her in that on your back. She may not sleep but will be comforted and you can get on and do a few things - or at least have both of your hands free.

I have been there and it is so difficult.

Tee2072 Mon 02-Nov-09 11:40:26

My son will rarely sleep during the day. I put him in his Baby Bjorn or his bouncy chair and go about my day. He's nearly 5 months and sleeps (usually) from 8p to about 530a every night.

In fact I am shock at the moment because he fell asleep in my arms about 20 minutes ago and I had to desperately use the loo and so I put him in his carry cot, and he's still asleep!!

boundarybabe Mon 02-Nov-09 12:23:59

My Ds is a man who likes his comfort - I've had to pad his cot by wrapping a single duvet around the mattress and then putting the sheet over that. That sorted our problem when he spent weeks refusing to sleep anywhere but on our bed! Perhaps it's worth a try with her cot?

kittywise Mon 02-Nov-09 12:35:05

Poor you, I've been there and it's a nightmare. A sling is a good idea if your baby likes them. Ds hated them and he wouldn't sleep during the day, even as a newborn he was awake nearly all of the time and extradionarily bad tempered. It was utterly exhaustingsad.
is there anyway you can get some time away? can someone come round for a couple of hours?
Hope it gets better

boolifooli Mon 02-Nov-09 12:37:28

This was my DS. It was such a shock after 3 babies who would sleep! A very draining time but it does pass, eventually. I used a sling now and then just to be able to cook or change my knickers occasionaly.

octopusinabox Mon 02-Nov-09 14:17:08

Thanks everyone. Sadly a sling is not an option for me as I still have bad SPD. I've bought a musical mobile type thing which arrived today so I'm going to try in desperation - or it could turn out to be a complete waste of money. There's noone who can help me either - we don't have family nearby - the ILs are too busy to help (despite being retired) and my parents say it's too far to travel.

I've now managed to clean up breakfast at least which is something. My house is a tip and I get fed up when people say that I must have loads of time now that my eldest is in playgroup. I just don't though - the day goes by with just feeding/holding etc and the occasional trip to the toilet which is normally accompanied by crying in the next room, then all of a sudden it's time to pick up the eldest which is is almost now.

Chaotica Mon 02-Nov-09 14:54:21

Sorry to hear how hard it is. I know some children are just like this, but have you ruled out that she's in pain/discomfort of some kind? Have you a GP/HV who might help?
(My GP referred us to an osteopath who was helpful. There were obvious physical symptoms in DS's case, but I know that some people on here have had success with their babies being calmed by treatment. If you can afford it (not very expensive), it's worth a try just to see.)

LordVetinarisApprentice Mon 02-Nov-09 16:09:23

Oh Octopus, I do feel for you. My ds was a big crier (a very happy noisy 4yr old now). Is it possible to do controlled crying for nap times at this age - I don't know before I get pounced on. It is absolutely soul destroying though, I remember sitting on the loo crying as ds howled downstairs. Sorry I haven't got any solutions but just wanted to sympathise, it is a terrible time with a non-sleeping baby. I think people think as long as they sleep at night that's fine but it's not! You aren't trying to wash/clean/cook etc during the night!! Hope someone comes up with a good suggestion soon.
<sympathetic pat on shoulder>

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