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Too ill to look after DS - suggestions?

(22 Posts)
Hohumchops Sun 01-Nov-09 10:32:36

I had a bad cold from middle of last week, then spent Thurs night throwing up. DH took Friday off work to look after DS. Am still not well, not eating anything more than a handful of dry cornflakes every 6hrs or so - so am too weak to do much with an extremely active 9mth old hellbent on destruction of our home, his usual activity.

Am currently tucked up in bed as is DS and DH, who is now not feeling well. Although he hasn't had any cold symtoms, DH is feeling unwell and not eaten anything today, despite being up for hours with DS.

We're fast becoming unable to hold, change, deal with DS between us. Don't know neighbours, family are not too close distant-wise. *Suggestions? If I phone HV tomorrow AM, can they help? How can they help? Can we get emergency childcare? Would anyone come to our sickly home? How do we trust said person that never met while we take ourselves off to bed for a good sleep and sweat?*

thisisyesterday Sun 01-Nov-09 10:35:08

if it were me i would be doing the following:

dosing up on all possible meds
vit c
lots of nice lemsip

settle down on sofa with duvet, pillow, cornflakes, drugs

put cbeebies on

have everything you need within reach (nappies/wipes/easy to eat food for ds)

you;ll get through it! it's tough but unfortunately us mums have to battle through, even when we feel like we're dying

Kayran Sun 01-Nov-09 10:43:11

Where do you live?

Hohumchops Sun 01-Nov-09 10:43:31

we're out of paracetamol, etc unfortunately, nowhere in walking distance and pouring of rain. i battled thru last week, but think that's why am not recovering. i am really not sure can manage well. if only DS would sit still, but he's too intersted in exploring so is tiring at best of times.

Ewe Sun 01-Nov-09 10:47:49

I think if you're that ill you need to call your family and they need to come and help out, even if it means they travel for a few hours.

In the meantime, make sure your living room is babyproofed, move anything you don't want DS to touch and let him have free reign of the place. Doesn't really matter if it gets really messy. Then you and DH take it in turns to sleep/doze on the sofa.

GypsyMoth Sun 01-Nov-09 11:02:48

no emergency childcare available via hv .

i'm ill also,single patent to 5,you'll get through it. do as others have said and you'll be fine.

PfftTheMagicDragon Sun 01-Nov-09 11:07:07

Order online, go through tesco, sainsbos, asda, ocado and see which has the soonest delivery slot. Hole yourselves up in the living room with the tv on and duvets and everything you need. You will just have to get through it and be grateful that there are 2 of you!

suiledonne Sun 01-Nov-09 11:08:06

Just completely drop your standards - even if it means putting him in the buggy in front of the TV with a cup of juice or something all day and feeding him whatever random things you have.

One day won't matter much and it might be enough to help you get a bit better.

I had hyperemesis for 7 weeks on dd2 and apart from 2 weeks when I went to my mother's for help I survived at home with a 2 year old, vomiting constantly and eating nothing.

Not fun but you would be surprised at what you can do.

Best of luck.

PoisonToadstool Sun 01-Nov-09 11:10:39

Make the living room safe for DS, put the TV or a DVD on, lay on sofa and do bare supervision - it will be fine. I assume at 9 months he will still be napping twice a day?

TrinityHasAVampireRhino Sun 01-Nov-09 11:15:09


strap him in somewhere safe with a bottle of juice and choccy buttons and sleep on the couch

dose yourself up to the hilt and good luck

order a taxi to go buy meds and bring them to the house

ring family...but I would save that for real flu tbh

its shit but its part of being a parent

clam Sun 01-Nov-09 11:34:57

No friends anywhere near?

I remember DH and I both had "real" flu when DCs were about 2 and 4. Initially, we operated a shift system between us. It was horrendous, and we only got through it because then MIL turned up with medication and basic supplies, took the kids away to stay with her, along with all the dirty laundry, and brought it back all washed and ironed, before sorting out our tip of a house, which had deteriorated as we had.
I've often wondered what on earth we would have done without her.

Phone family, even if they're long distance.

GypsyMoth Sun 01-Nov-09 11:38:03

there are 2 of you.....organise shifts,2 hours each so the other sleeps. its doable with 2!

SleepingLion Sun 01-Nov-09 11:43:11

I had this when DH was away with work last week and had to manage by myself - is definitely doable with two of you!

I got out to Tesco and stocked up on drugs and junk nutritious food and DVDs improving literature for DS then hit the sofa: duvet, lots of fluids, alternate doses of paracetamol and ibuprofen, TV on - and survived.

Honestly, with you and DH working in shifts, it will be fine. And when your DS naps, you can both get your heads down for a nap as well! My DS at 6 no longer naps, unfortunately so I had to stay awake for the full thirteen hrs he was awake grin

Flightattendant Sun 01-Nov-09 11:50:48

He needs to be safe, he doesn't need to be entertained really...TV or a good crawl round a safe area will do.
Playpen, or cot, or indeed buggy if desperate.
I admit when I saw the thread title I assumed you were a lone's definitely doable with two of you! smile

acebaby Sun 01-Nov-09 22:48:00

If there is any break in the weather, and if you can walk, get into the fresh air - even if only to the garden or to the local shop to stock up on paracetamol. DS will be more likely to sleep and it is amazing how restorative fresh air is (omg I'm turning into my mother blush)

Let DS do things he isn't normally allowed to do. In a very similar situation I amused DS2 (12mo at the time) for ages by letting him play with the hoover.

If you need to dash to the loo, just put DS in his cot. He will scream and protest, but will come to no harm.

Don't do anything you don't have to do. For example, stick him in a 12 hour pamper and only change him when absolutely necessary. Cook only the simplest of food (jars if he'll eat them).

hope you feel better soon!

Heated Sun 01-Nov-09 22:59:04

Alternate taking nurofen and paracetamol every 2 hours. Will bring down your temperatures and make the thought of looking after ds much more doable.

Bunk down in lounge, with duvet, plenty of liquids and children's tv/dvds and toys.

Get online and order simple food you will want to eat/medicine/ prepared stuff for ds.

If you and dh get really poorly you'll need to contact family.

vvvodka Sun 01-Nov-09 23:03:18

this is an excellent oppurtunity to get to know the neighbours..

i was in a similar situation to you, a long time ago. in the end, i had two crying babies, myslef crying, pringles all over the floor, where the six year old had tried to feed the two year old and the one year old, and me some dinner. i sent thesix year old across the road to the older lady, to say that mummy was sick. bless her, she came over with frozen soup, and took care of me. ran me a bath, made me toast with the soup, and tucked me up in bed.

shineoncrazyfirecracker Mon 02-Nov-09 18:11:28

Message withdrawn

shineoncrazyfirecracker Mon 02-Nov-09 18:14:06

Message withdrawn

Wags Mon 02-Nov-09 22:43:24

Bit odd, only other posts from Hohum mention her 'DD' hmm. I was wondering how it was becoming impossible to 'hold DS' but easy to Mumsnet, but hey maybe none of us has been that ill grin

shineoncrazyfirecracker Tue 03-Nov-09 08:35:17

Message withdrawn

Flightattendant Tue 03-Nov-09 13:36:12

It is very easy to panic when you are ill with a small child.

You feel like you might NEVER get better as you have only ever been that ill while on your own pre-children and given that children do entirely take over your life, it is understandable that some people think 'Argh I am going to die and the infant will starve'

I have thought this myself and got mightily flamed for it. I'm a single parent and yes you do cope, usually, but it can be rough and unpleasant and very substandard if you are properly ill.

The idea of having a DH who is 'feeling a bit ill' but unable to help care for a small baby makes me wonder whether he noticed Op was unwell, and was afraid he might have to do some childcare,and decided that joining her in bed was the preferred option. grin

It Has Been Known.

Hope you are feeling better now OP. Fwiw no, no emergency childcare usually available - I know this because my mother demanded I research it, as she was sick of coming to help out if I was ill. There's nothing. Homestart come once a week and it's regular if you are ill or not...which is a missed marketing opportunity really.

Let me know if you do find anything that covers for single parents who are too ill to cope with their kids. Most of us just wing it tbh or rely on the goodwill of strangers and packet of cheese biscuits in the larder!

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