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Having a second baby, how do I know I am ready?

(4 Posts)
JJsandcat Tue 27-Oct-09 17:39:26

My dd is 12 months old, she is such an easy baby, slept through from 5 weeks, relaxed little soul who loves to potter around by herself or do whatever I am doing with her. She will start nursery in April. I am a SAHM, 29 years old, my Dh is 39. We are currently abroad and I do not need to go back to work. We have 3 staff in the home and despite missing the UK and my family I can sit it out being here for the next 5 years or so.

We have started thinking about adding to our family. My Dh is interested but less keen than I am (though I'm terribly scared of the birth, I had an awful c-section). He says we should wait for another year, whereas I tend to think, 'Let's get it over with'. If my body and mind can cope, I would love 4 children, but I hated being pregnant.

How did you guys know when you were ready for a second baby? How did you cope with a toddler and newborn? I am aslo an only child and have no concept of siblings.

Please tell me your experiences and give me advice. Thank you!

luciemule Tue 27-Oct-09 17:49:15

Hi JJsandcat - firstly, if you think about it too much, you might never do it.
Is there someone you can talk to about your previous section? I don't mind you mailing me if you want to debrief by email (I'm a doula who offers a birth debrief as I feel it's really important to understand completely why everything went how it did).
I think when it comes to it, if you imagine yourselves actually 'making' the baby, you'll know if you really want another one. If you think about it and think it's too soon and seems scary, then that's your answer. Both of you need to want the same thing; not just your dh going along with you.
I had a Ec-section and had pnd for 2 yrs and although I had orignally wanted 2 babies close together in age, when it came to it, I couldn't go through with it and now there's a 3 yr gap. My DH really wondered whether he really ever wanted another but because we both waited and massively discussed it, when the time was right, we just knew.
The being pregnant thing might be completely different for another baby too don't forget.
Please feel free to memail me if you need to 'chat' about your birth.smile
Which country do you live in? What are hospitals like there?

JJsandcat Tue 27-Oct-09 18:03:48

Hi Lucie, thank you for taking the time to offer me advice. I keep thinking about a second one and so does Dh but he'd ideally want a bit more down-time with me before TTC again. I just tried to contact you, but your settings do not allow that. Could you amend them? It should be under My Mumsnet.

luciemule Tue 27-Oct-09 18:30:10

hello - have changed the CAT setting to allow - is that it?
If not you can email me at doulaforyou@hotmail.co.uk

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